Edition to My Heart
by smiles555fofo
Summary: Sequel to Lover's Novel: Ever since Allen broke up with Debitto, her heart aches terribly. Now that she's going to New york with Tyki, she yearns for a better future. As she stays there, she meets new and old faces-even Lavi? "I will be strong." Fem!Allen
1. Prolouge

**Author's Note**: Sorry, I can't update The Arena because I don't feel confident continuing. So I deleted it. Sorry again if you actually liked the story. Heh… Well, anyway, enjoy this sequel, again…I don't think it's going to be that good.

**P.S**. Give me a good reason why I shouldn't make Allen and Debitto break up? Yes, I know, there aren't many pairings with the two. But I'm stumped. You lot are going on about how they shouldn't break up, but when I did make them a couple, you guys went on about how it should be Lavi instead of Debitto. Okay, it doesn't matter really.

**P.S.S**. This story seems more dramatic than comedy, so it's going to be romance plus drama. I know it will suck, but please bear with it. You don't have to read it if you don't want to, I'm just a bored teenaged girl who has nothing better to do in life. I suck that much.

**P.S.S.S.** I hate getting burned so no flame. Please. And that I have no idea who Allen will be so please be patient. Especially you annoying folks. Haha, kidding. But seriously, I have no idea.

Oh, and one more thing, I'm really glad that people like you actually enjoy Lover's Novel. Some say that they think romance is all lovey dovey junk with tons of hugs and kisses. I'm not an expert on love or romance, but somehow I think I was able to bring a mixture of everything into that romance. Oh, and I'm not sure if this is the best female Allen fiction story so…HAHAHA. Yeah…(;

Thanks again,

Smiles555fofo

It makes me wonder, wonder so much. Is God that cruel? No, He isn't. It's just the way us human beings are. We commit several sins that cause the people around us to be filled with sorrow or pain. But this…this wasn't a sin that God would consider, but a sin to my heart. Something I'm not even sure that He or time would be able to fix.

* * *

"T-tomboy…we have to break up…"

I never thought I would see the day. I was so carefree because I was living in the newly founded happiness. I was with the one who I loved so much. I was never so satisfied in my entire life, now that I have him by my side. But why now? Why couldn't it last longer? It seemed so short. So very short.

"W-wha…" I couldn't say it. I was too choked up. I stared at him with widen eyes filled with shock. I knew this was no joke. The tone of his voice, the way he's acting…this is definitely no joke at all.

Debitto's eyes concentrated into mine; his desperation and uncomfortableness clung into his expression deeply. His voice was serious and strong, yet wavering and crying at the same time. I knew he would never act this way, even if he felt sadden or such. But somehow, I could tell just by the look of my beloved that varieties of emotions were swelling up in his chest. I'm not sure if it could be compared to my chest.

"I'm being sent to a boarding school," he quickly said, tearing away his gaze.

Why is he acting this way? He never acted this strange before. Why is there so much sadness coming from him? Why is that?

"B-but why?" I forced myself to say. It hurt my throat just to say one word, and the question came out all odd pitched.

"S-studies. Rhode and Jasdero are going too."

Rhode…Rhode is going to go too? Then…then what am I supposed to do? What is going on?

"Don't bother trying to change anything, tomboy. I tried."

"Then w-what am I going to do? I belong with you," I stammered.

I was at the verge of crying. That impact made me shock for long enough. I needed to pour out my emotions. I needed to feel tears rush from my blurry eyes. I need to be comforted. But who can comfort me? Debitto…he doesn't care anymore! He doesn't!

"No you don't!" he snapped angrily.

I flinched at the furious words that rolled out of his tongue. His head was lowered. I couldn't see his face anymore. But I wanted too.

"B-but I…"

"You think that we could be in a relationship forever? Are you _that _dumb and desperate? It's not like were married!"

My head began to feel light-headed. I couldn't feel my fingers, toes, or any warmth in my body. Every part of me has turned cold. It was as if I was numbing, and it was horrible. My head was starting to work again. I regained my conscience. My head was working, but my body was still in utter shock. I wanted to tell him that he was wrong and that it shouldn't be this way, but my body system was malfunctioning. I still loved him, but I don't know he still loves me. Why is he so angry? Did he actually stop loving for me? Was I a waste of time to be with? Am I a terrible person to love? Or maybe because of my birth defect…has he found out about my arm? Is that the reason why?

"Don't you get it? When I say that I want to break up, it means that I don't want any part of you anymore. I don't love you at all, stupid tomboy!" he continued to yell.

If you hate me so much, then why bother talking to me? Why bother staying here anyway? If you despise me so much, then get out of here. Don't bother explaining everything to me. I know that this may be my first ever relationship, but I know all the drama and such. Why won't you disappear as my heart is…just go away and never come back.

Why can't I force my mouth to voice my thoughts? How weak am I? How can words cause me to be numb? Cause me pain? I don't understand. I know that relationships are always wonderful but end with a horrid ending, but—but is it always _this_ difficult? Seeing Debitto this way, yelling at me this way, and giving out a dreadful expression somehow penetrates my heart.

I felt my breath blowing warmly against my frozen lips, defrosting it. I blinked, feeling my eyelashes coated with water. I touched my cheek gently; it was damp.

"Debitto?" I whispered.

I saw his retreating figure, running far.

I collapsed onto the ground on my knees and stared into the distance. Then remembered the last words he shouted to me before dashing off quickly, during the time while I was thinking too much.

The words were, "I should have never be with you. You're better off with someone else."

The one sentence that caused me to cry was, "Good bye, _good riddance_, Allen…"

I always knew that the world was filled with such horrible and terrifying things because us humans happen to create them. We brought up murder, diseases, fright, greed, jealousy, everything that goes against what God has provided us worthless fools with. I was a servant, a devout Christian. I knew that people are difficult to convert, but I was stubborn. Even though I never did get one to be converted, I just thought that people were just too pathetic to even just listen. The most pathetic ones I thought were those like Ashley. Always goofing off like a slut, gossiping, causing feelings to become hurt. I never did like her, yet I pray for her almost every night because I hoped that she would change her ways. I rarely got to see her nowadays.

Life is just too difficult, yet I don't plan to end it. There are things planned for me in the future and I will wait to see them being revealed. Those who commit suicide are those who have experienced great depression, hardships, and some things far too much greater that I have never experienced myself. They just want to end it, right? I used to believe that they were just too weak to go on. They were just as pathetic as Ashley. But the pathetic one was me.

I'm so pathetic. I let my happiness get the best of me. I should have paid more attention to Debitto while we were still in a relationship. He was sick and tired of me and loathed everything that I happen to drag him down with. My actions, I never thought that they were that much of an annoyance. I thought he didn't care and loved me the way I was. I was wrong. I was very wrong. I'm pathetic.

I cried that very spot. The spot was very cold and empty. The perfect place to be at when you're at heartache.

But how could it not rain when I feel droplets upon my face?

~1 year later~

"Tyki," I called after opening the door with the key that was hidden in the plant pot near by.

"Here," I heard him call.

I saw Tyki sitting on the floor with his laptop on his lap, his legs crossed. His eyes were fully concentrated on the screen. He wore his casual clothes and his glasses, plus he was smoking.

I scrunched my face. "I thought you said that you quit smoking," I complained.

"I was distracted."

"By what?"

"The elegance of the cigar wrapped in lovely white paper."

"Liar," I accused.

Tyki only smiled and gestured me to come forward. He pressed the cigarette butt against the ashtray. I bent down to his level and looked over to the screen. There were a scroll full of random letters and digits placed together. Tyki never told me what his job was or wanted to tell, but all I did know was that he worked for some company. "Big time pay," he said to me. Because of this, he moved out and to an apartment.

"So what did you eat for lunch?" I asked.

"I skipped," he replied.

I sighed. "You're getting thinner everyday. You should eat from time to time."

"I will when I get the chance."

I stood up and asked, "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, can you make me something?"

"Sure."

I walked into the kitchen. I noticed the dishes stacked in the sink. I assumed he actually _did_ have breakfast. I cleared them away and brought out clean plates. I brought out the package of noodles and dumped them into the boiling water that I prepared. I even got the tomato sauce ready and waited as the noodles finished boiling. Once they were done, I made the spaghetti and made two dishes.

"Here you go." I handed him the plate.

"Thanks. Man, I'm starved."

I watched him scarf down his food. I pressed my lips together, hiding away a smile.

"Hey, next time you should make homemade pizza too," Tyki said after swallowing.

"Then it'll be all Italian," I laughed.

"So? I like Italian food."

"Next time then," I promised.

I picked up the fork that was stuck out of the pile of noodles and began twirling it around.

"How's school?" Tyki asked.

"The usual. Nothing interesting ever happens in Noah Academy."

"I taught there and it was all goody _goody_." Tyki shuddered.

"I happen to like goody people," I returned.

"Yeah, I know you do."

I watched Tyki as he ate and did his work at the same time.

When was the last time I hung out with those around my age? Everything is torn apart. Daisya moved away with his anonymous family, Lenalee left to China, and Kanda seemingly disappeared the same day Daisya was gone. It hurts that my friends have left me behind, but what does it matter that Kanda was gone as well? My headache is now forty-five percent better thanks to his disappearance, yet I…I'm still lonely without his presence.

Cross had left somewhere, somewhere that I will not know again. His debts seem to be endless, piling and piling higher and higher. That was fifty-five percent. It feels as thought Cross just threw me away a long time ago, that he doesn't care what I do. Whether if I jump off a cliff or cause murder in the streets.

I would have drowned myself a year ago, but for some reason, I heard a voice telling me that someone will be in need of me. Someone who? Who would want a girl so bizarre as me? That would be impossible. No one will have need of me. Absolutely no one.

"_Al, cheer up. Stop sulking and keep moving forward. You_'re _the best at doing that."_

"_Allen, I know you can do it. Don't keep that pain in your heart anymore."_

"_Ally!" _I heard nothing from my friend, Rhode.

"Allen." Tyki's voice woke me up with a start.

I blinked and looked at him. "What is it?"

"I've been meaning to ask you this. I'm being transferred to New York and I'm wondering if you would come with me."

I blinked again. "Me? Go to New York with you?" I repeated.

"What? To hard to believe?" he said with a joking tone. A laughing smirk was placed onto his lips.

I ignored the comment. "But why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, ever since _that _happened, you've been seeing me lately. You needed someone to comfort you so you chose me, because I resemble _him _the most," he said straightforwardly.

My eyes widened. Tyki actually thinks that I've been visiting him all because he's the closest to what Debit—he was? That I'm using him? I don't understand. I remembered couple days after they left, and that Rhode never even talked to me or say goodbye—she left without a word, Daisya complained that I was acting emo, Lenalee was being a worrying mother, and Kanda remarked that I was stupid—sulking all for a _boy. _Those words never reached to me. It completely bounced off.

I suppose Kanda was right at the time. I shouldn't think only about how I felt, but about how the people around me. Lenalee and Daisya were both concerned for me. Even though I acted horrible to them, snapping and crying, they still remained by my side. Then I've been seeing Tyki because…because I felt as though he could cure everything. He actually did refill my heart, but only halfway. But I never realized that Tyki thought the only reason I came to see him was because of that…

"You never thought about it, did you?" he said.

"No," I answered, looking down.

"Well, it doesn't really matter for me. I thought you were going to miss me if I was gone so I asked you if you want to come with me." Tyki stood up and stretched, then picked up the plate that was only covered in tomato sauce and few noodle pieces.

If Tyki were to be gone then, I would be alone, wouldn't I? I could try to talk to Lulubell or Skin but…they wouldn't be the same as Tyki. Then what would I do if he's gone?

I immediately stood up. "I'll go," I said.

"What about your guardian?"

"It doesn't matter," I muttered. I took the plate from his hand and stacked it on top of mine. "He wouldn't really care what I do."

"Really."

Tyki already knew about Cross. I have told him. I have been telling him everything now as he has been telling little things about him. For me, there was no gap to where I need to fill, but as for Tyki…I'm not sure. I don't know why I could so easily trust him. Maybe it was because he actually does resemble _him. _But it has been a year now, couldn't I just forget the whole thing?

Tyki's hand landed on top of my cap. I looked up. "All right then, pack up and meet me here on 6:00."

"We're leaving today?"

"Yes, we are."

Tyki told me to leave the plates in the sink. I did so and left after saying goodbye. When I got back, Timcampy greeted me the usual. He flew to my shoulder and nibbled on my ear lobe. I prepared his dinner and went to my room to pack up. I just practically threw everything into my duffel bag. I don't know why, but I think I'm excited to leave. To leave this old house. To leave my school. To leave the place where I spent my times with the people who used to be with. The place where I was surrounded with all those wonderful times. And to leave…with someone who I can trust now.

I wrote a note, saying that I have left to New York with a friend just in case Cross comes back. Afterwards, I picked up my backpack and duffel bag and dragged my feet out. Timcampy was stuffed into the bag. I know that Tim is an extraordinary bird. He can survive almost _anything. _Just amazes me that he hasn't died yet. I dragged all the way to Tyki's apartment, seeing him there standing by his car.

"You shouldn't carry all of your things," he informed me.

Now you tell me. "Just don't want to be late for the plane."

"Right/ Come on."

He threw my things into the trunk as I got inside. As we drove to the airport, I began to wonder. Am I making this decision too fast? Shouldn't I think this through? Maybe I should have waited for a day and tell my school that I'm going to New York. Well, I guess it's too late now. Even if it meant that my friends would be coming back the next day, it would be too late.

I'm going to be sixteen soon, which means I'm going to have to get used to several responsibilities and make tough decisions. There will be harder times than what I have experienced in the past, and will face trouble too. I want to at least try. I want to prove Kanda that I'm not sulking just because for a _boy. _Even with his odd disappearance, I still don't like him.

"Hey, Allen."

I looked away from the window that showed the dark sky and to Tyki. His eyes were staring at the road. "Hmm?"

"Can you promise me something?"

"If it's humiliating, then no."

He chuckled. "No, nothing of the sort."

"Then what is it?"

"Promise me," the Portuguese man began, "that you would start over. That you would change and try again."

I remained silent.

"I know that you've been grieving over and over because of Debitto, but I understand. You're still naïve to all this, but I know what's it like to loose someone who you have loved with all your being. But you act as though you have no life whatsoever these days, it's killing me. But that's all in the past."

Tyki paused for a brief minute, then began, "It's all in the past, so look towards to the future, okay? Be that same tomboyish brat who used to help Daisya prank me and Lulubell from the last two April fools ago."

He turned his head a bit so I could see his smile facing at me. I sighed.

"Can't believe that you called me a brat," I grumbled.

"That's because you were one."

I turned my head back to the window. "Don't worry, I'll think about the future from now on."

"I'm looking foreword to the new Ally," Tyki said with a cheerful tone.

The dark objects outside that imaged in the window quickly passed away as the car drove by on the highway. It was as if those figures were the bad past that were replaying inside my mind. As we continue to drive—continuing to the future, we will stop at the airport, which will be gleaming with bright lights so the cars would know that they are there. I will continue on and meet my bright light, that way I too will know that I am there.

Lenalee, Daisya, Kanda, and Tyki were all right. I can change my ways. I can do this. Now that I'm heading for New York, I want to believe. I have to. It just hurts too much that I happen to accidentally think about the past. It hurts to think the good and the bad. It even hurts to pray anymore. But now I will be strong, I will believe, I will trust, I will see the better of myself. Cause I know that I can do it.

I made a quick glimpse of Tyki. If it weren't for him, I would have fallen already. If it weren't for his friendship, kindness, and care, who would have given me strength? Maybe someone else, but Tyki was the one who gave me everything. Debitto, I still love him. I don't care what he says or thinks, I still do. I don't want to, but how can I change my heart? He was the first person to truly make me feel happy ever since Mana. Mana, my foster father who took me in when I was left alone in the world. As I still care for Debitto, I will see him as a support.

I yearn for the better future.

Sorry God for not trying to keep moving on.

Thank you Tyki for showing me the way.

"Hey Allen, we're here."

I lifted up my head. It could have been my imagination, but I think I saw my light already. My light as another person.

* * *

Author's Note: Remember, Allen Walker is a Christian so you will be hearing about God, Jesus Christ, and all those Christian stuff. If you find this annoying, feel free to either ignore it or don't read it at all. By the way, have you ever noticed that Allen never swears? I have. HAHAHA.


	2. Awkward Start

Warning:

Just to tell you, I've been slacking off lately. Whenever I have nothing to do, which is usually rare, I would head to the computer and type up some parts of the chapter. So please do not be expecting ANYTHING at all. It's not that great, and I am ashamed.

**P.S. **I never been to New York so please excuse my made-up tales. I'm trying to make a joy in writing, not be accurate and make a nonfiction book.

* * *

There are moments when you just have to sputter the word "hate" in a sentence. When you are in rage, hate pops in your mind. When you are sorrowful, hate pops in your mind. When you are frustrated, hate pops in your mind. And occasionally the swearing pops out of your mouth as well. But we all know that _I _am not a curser.

Hell yeah.

That wasn't me.

Anyway, I don't like to use the term "hate", so I use words that people will often not use because their puny minds cannot grasp onto the synonym words. Just kidding.

So why did I bring this topic up? Well, have you ever experienced putting up with an extremely cranky person? Or bird? That person or bird would have issues that would bother you to no end? Literally?

"I am seriously convinced that bird is part vulture," Tyki said.

Partially, I have to say that this whole thing was my fault. But oh well.

_I _detest _Timcampy's irrational yet terrifying behavior. I detest it very much so._

"_Timcampy _is not part vulture," I said. I tore the tape that was attached to one of the boxes so that I could grab the items out of the confined box.

"You can tell by his eyes." Tyki motioned towards Tim's glare, which happens to be quite menacing. "Don't they seem vulture-some enough? Rawr."

I snorted and cracked a small smile. "Stop making jokes at a time like this! This is a serious matter. Tim is hovering above us on a ceiling fan that might as well be as old as Mr. Earl's grandfather clock. Any second now and Tim might break the fan and we—I mean, _you _would have to pay for it."

"By the time we're done unpacking, I'm so kicking you out," Tyki sniffed. "Anyway, so how do you suppose we bring him down, O' Fearless Bird-abuser One?"

"I am not a bloody abuser for the last time!"

Alright, so I might as well be titled as one. But it wasn't as if I meant to hurt Tim.

It was the night when I was departing that bloody old place, for crying out loud!

I was, erm, somewhat dazed and in a rush so I had no other choice but to _shove _Timcampy into my backpack. As if I had the time to go to the pet store and buy myself a cage. Tim's last cage became too small for him, due to his abnormal growth of a bird. And besides, he was squishy enough to be socked in there.

It wasn't like he was protesting either. No squawking, tweeting, gnawing, snapping, or any of the sort. He looked as if he understood the whole concept and accepted his fate in being shoved into my backpack for…a couple hours…

Hmm…I suppose now I do understand how Tim feels. Being confined in an uncomfortable position for hours and hours and hours and hours.

"At least I wasn't the one who made the bird cranky." Tyki shrugged and presumed with the other boxes. I rolled my eyes and followed the same routine. "You just suddenly said that we were leaving for New York, so it's not like I _had _the time to go out and buy a cage suitable for Tim's height," I grumbled aloud.

"Speaking of which, what did you feed that thing? Last time I saw him, he was the size of a golf ball, now a house cat!"

"Quit exaggerating. Tim's not that big. He's the size of a…cat in it's teen years." I puffed out my cheeks and blew out the air. You got to admit I _am _a genius when it comes to comebacks.

Tyki, although nearly inaudible, chuckled. I frowned and plucked out the items from the box. "But honestly, _what _do you feed him? He grown so much!"

"The usual amount! I would never overfeed him! He just so happens to be that large. Really, I have no idea how he became that big. I was always with him, so I never really noticed that much until I looked back at the photos I once shot at him."

"Where'd Cross get him?"

I shrugged and lifted the bill of my cap so I could see a bit clearer. "Never said. And if I asked, he would tell me, 'None of your business, brat,' and kicks me out to go out and earn some money."

"Probably from some experiment lab. Timcampy might be what the scientists created: part vulture, finch, eagle, canary, pigeon, chicken, and a piglet."

"Why a piglet?"

"Have you seen the size of that thing?"

I laughed, grinning back at Tyki. "Well, you could be right. Cross used to be a scientist."

"Maybe _he _was the one who made Timcampy."

"Maybe."

Tyki and I moved into a small apartment—kind of like the other apartment Tyki used to live before moving to New York. It seems nice. The neighborhood is rather loud, but it is nice.

In the apartment, there are two bedrooms. Tyki needed the biggest one since he was going to have all his computer junk in there. I still wonder what his job is. Even if I ask, he won't bother telling me. I think he's some sort of author since he is constantly typing. If he is, I should ask him for help on my new story that I am beginning to write.

The kitchen has an island, which was really handy since we don't have a table to eat our meals from. And since we don't even have a couch in the living room, we're trying to save up money to buy one. Not to mention beds too. Thank goodness the fridge came with the apartment; otherwise we might as well starve to death!

"Tyki, where do you want these to go?" I asked, holding up the box full of electronics.

"Ah, just leave it there. I'll deal with it later," he responded.

I lugged the heavy box aside. I stood up straight, feeling a crack in my back. I cracked my hands and twiddled my redden fingers. "Good gracious, do you even know what to do with all that?" I asked, lifting the bill of my cap higher.

"Yes I do, Allen. I am the one who own them, after all," Tyki replied.

Perhaps instead of an author, he probably is some technician who is dealing with code modules and other related things that I have not a clue of. I would have never pegged Tyki as something of the sort, because, after all, he only did attend to two years of community college. Not exactly your brightest person around.

Better off as a hobo.

"Well, better not spend too much time in front of the computer screen. You'll end up wearing glasses for life. You wearing them right now have proven my point," I said.

"And don't they look super nerdy on me," Tyki snorted. "And what's next? You're going to lecture me on how smoking will do 'bloody' damage on me?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Don't I already do that?"

"Oh yeah. I just forgot that you do since you always nag on me."

"I—I _do not_ nag!"

"Fine, _whine _that I shouldn't smoke."

"Err, Tyki, I do believe that whining is much worse than nagging." I crossed my arms and scowled at Tyki, who was acting casually calm as usual. That irritates me sometimes. Especially when I get that gut feeling that I'm going to loose. "Hey, at least I wasn't the one who shoved her bird, causing him to go grumpy and be vulture-some." Tyki shrugged.

"Enough of that!"

"Then bring him down from there. I don't want to pay for the apartment's damages. I don't have much on me."

"But I don't know how to bring him down…"

"What? This is your first time dealing with his crankiness?"

"Yes…I mean, he wasn't _this _irritated before."

"Really…?"

I nodded.

Tyki sighed. "Well then, there is always a Plan B." He plopped his hands on his waist and ran his fingers through his curly mop of hair. "Al, you're not coming back until you have a job."

"_What?_" My eyebrows rose up. "You must be joking. _I _was joking earlier! You really believe that a _bird _could bring down the ceiling fan? Tim does not weigh that much!"

"Really? Because I remember clearly that you were complaining about how heavy Tim weighed and that it strained your arms badly, so I felt gracious and carried your freakishly heavy backpack for you."

"I do not complain!"

"Go get a job, Walker."

I puffed out my cheeks, frowning. "On the plane, you said that I don't have to deal anymore of this child labor and can finally worry about my academic studies so that I may head off to an excellent university!" I protested.

"That was before I knew you made your bird cranky. Hey, I have a job too. And besides, I'm not your guardian, so you might as well do your share."

"B-b-but—but!"

"You heard me. Now get out of the house and let me work in peace."

I felt a lightening shudder run down my spine. "You're just like Cross! That's just frightening!"

Tyki chucked my jacket at me and pushed me out. Then he slammed the door behind my back, uttering a few words before doing so, "And it better not be a fast food joint." As if I would want to work at a place like that.

Starbucks was a horrible place to work, just to say.

I sighed and slipped my jacket on. Not believing that I am doing this, but for the good cause and to lighten up Tyki's burden, I trotted down along the sidewalks of the new neighborhood and into the busier parts where the taxi we took have driven by.

Shouldn't it be dangerous for me to walk at these parts alone? Especially when I recently moved here? Well, after observing the people here, I think I might blend in well.

Everywhere I go, I see sidewalks crowded with people. The streets are filled with roaring cars that would honk here and there. The honking usually makes me jump. The traffic here really is different in New York compared to the place I used to live. And England. I guess this is normal for a place like New York.

The people here are different too. They are so concentrated on walking that they don't notice the crowd of people around them. It really is like a circus here. There are those who dress up too oddly: feather boas, high boots, and clashing colors, etc. Then there are those who wear suits and carry cases. I even see the normal-looking ones who become subtle to the environment. Well, everyone here is subtle.

And hard to believe, but even I am subtle. Subtle enough to be in the normal-looking category!

During the two years, my hair grew longer, which I became lazy so I didn't bother cutting it. My hair grew down a little pass my shoulders. My bangs also grew to cover most of my scar, which is _finally _healing very well. It's rather faded and yet visible though.

The one thing that would have caused me shock was how my hair began changing colors _again_. No longer white, but platinum-silvery blond. How awesomely odd is that? Well, it's somewhat more like white-blond, but at least it's not something that people would consider as "old people" hair. First a brunette, a white-head, and now a blond. I think I'm going to be a ginger by the time I go to college.

My arm, unfortunately, is still its rusty red with that strange green gem embedded into my skin. I still have to wear those blasted gloves, but at least today is a chilly day, so it won't look as weird when I wear them now. It's unfortunate that I cannot contact Ms. Nine anymore, talking about my arm and my other strange birth defects.

Speaking of which, I wonder how Ms. Nine is doing. Likely to be her strict yet kind self, teaching everyone about whatever, and going on life while cursing about Cross.

I continued to walk straightforward, the opposite direction of where the apartment is. If I go this direction, then surely I will know how to get back. Just turn around and walk the way you came from. I wonder if there is a school along the way. I hope there is. That way, trying to look for a school would be much easier and less complicated.

A brisk wind picked up. My teeth began to chatter as I winced from the cold air hitting against my cheeks. I dug my hands into the pockets of my jacket, then rubbing them together trying to create friction. Perhaps coming to New York while it is January was a bad idea. I'm freezing!

As I looked up, I saw a long rectangular building that was built up on top a hill-like stairway. This building was different from the others. The stairway was tall and large that expanded all around the structure. People were going in and out. Those who came out carried books. Oh, this was a library! Good, I'm in need of books right now.

I climbed up the stairs, panted once I got up to the very top, and then tried to pry open the seriously heavy door. I sighed with contentment when a gust of warm air blew on me. I shivered in delight and happily marched in. And before I knew it, I was shocked in astonishment. This library was _huge. _There were several shelves all lined up in rows. There was even a second and third floor—just for the books! Just how many books are in this library? I had no idea that such a place would contain so many books. It's surprising to know that America had all these.

Wow, I should get started! But wait, I should make a library card first. I wonder where they hold the adventure historical fiction genres. Oh, this will be tough! But it'll be worth it. Reading these books might help me get the idea for the novel that I'm creating, but then again maybe I should just start all over. It won't be any good if I am not in Lavi's beach. Speaking of his beach, I wonder if anyone else had discovered it. That would be bad.

Then I noticed something; there weren't any of the elderly, children, or even teens. There were some adults, but seemed to be like a rarity compared to the younger ones here. They look like they were around Tyki's age. Like…college students. Oh wait, Tyki is not intelligent enough to be a college student, so never mind.

I noticed that some wore hoodies with bold letters imprinted on the front. DPBO. _DPBO_? What does that stand for?

"You there."

I turned around. Some guy was looking at me intently, which caused me to flinch. He was kind of…well, not exactly ugly, but not handsome either. Average? Well I haven't seen one of _those_ in a while, especially with Daisya gone. His hair was a rich golden color, but it was long enough so he put it into a braid. Then it gets weirder—the braiding thing was weird—he has a bowl cut on the front. Then on his forehead, there were, uh…two dots—one on top of another. At first, I was convinced that they were either pimples or moles, but then they looked unnatural. I kind of feel sorry for this guy. What kind of messed up person forced him to look like this?

"Are you even supposed to be here, kid?" he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Uh…" I dumbly trailed.

"This library is for those who attend at the Black Order University. Unless you are a student, I suggest you to leave."

Well, that hurts. By the looks of this mister and how high he raised his nose in the air, I would have to say that he's a snobby uptight workaholic studious bookworm. Well, that was just a prediction.

_Wait a minute_, university? I'm at some university?

"How old are you?" he suddenly asked, still looking strict and snobby.

"U-uh, sixteen, sir," I replied. Why does he need to know about my age? Maybe he needs to know whether I'm a student or not? Well, it's too late to realize _that_. But never mind; I cannot lie anyway.

"Sixteen…well, I'll make amends to that," he sighed. "Why did you come here for?"

"I…like reading?"

"You want to read?" I nodded. "Is that the only reason why you came here?"

"Well, I thought this was a public library so…I came here to pick out books that will help me on this story that I'm writing," I mumbled, drumming the back part of my cap.

"So you're going to copy write?"

"No! No!" I quickly exclaimed, yet in a hushed tone since this was a library. "I would never do such a thing! I just want to read as many books that I can so that I can get a visual idea on how to write my story. You know, how much emotions authors would use or details and such. To receive a better picture to assist a beginner such as me."

He raised an eyebrow, untangling his crossed arms. His expression still was stoic, which strangely reminded of that ignorant Kanda. Ugh, why do I still remember his name?

"And what genre is it?"

The story that I was writing was about a boy who was sent to prison because he had injured someone terribly. He had a bad past that caused him to be so violent. When he was sent home, everyone around him tried to avoid him because they thought he was a very bad person. The boy was very lonely, especially when his parents did not love him anymore. Then an elderly Christian woman entered into his life and taught him the Word of Christ. He got saved…and I'm trying to finish up to that point. I think it was somewhat cheesy because I continuously had God there so many times that it sounds too redundant.

"Religion, life, adventure," I listed, rubbing my hands together, "or so I would say."

"Religion, you say? And what religion are you talking about?"

"Christianity."

"Are you a devout one?"

"Very," I said proudly, grinning. Now this, I _want _to gloat about.

He rubbed his chin. "What are your goals in the future?"

My goals? "I'm trying to become a great novelist, create a new beginning, and learn more about what God has in stored for me in the future," I stated even more proudly, which I shouldn't be.

"Perfect. You're hired."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"Usually, I won't hire children to work in my library, but there's something that I like about you," he said, folding his arms again.

I blinked again. "H-huh?"

I know that I don't use the word "hate", so I'll use "loathe" instead.

_I _loathe _karma. Oh why, WHY did I have to be a prideful idiot?_

So here's what happened afterwards: this…this blond man just suddenly takes me to this stationary area, makes me scribble down my name onto forms, and then takes me to somewhere in the library. I'm still not too clear on what just happened. While at it, he asks me even more questions.

"Name?"

"What?"

"Your name. What is your name?" he repeated.

"O-oh. Allen Walker, sir," I answered.

He raises an eyebrow. "Is Allen a short way of Aleina?"

"No," I said, looking away. "Allen is indeed my real name."

He gave me a short odd look, and then shook his head.

At last, we stood in front of a table that was filled with books stacked on top of one another. The stack was incredibly high. Then next to the table was a black cart. It was filled with books—a _lot _of books.

"I would need to know when you are available to work," the man said, taking out a pen and a notepad that seemingly came out of nowhere.

I wasn't sure what to say. "Uh…everyday except Sunday…4:00 on weekdays…8:30 on Saturday…" And now the words just came out on their own!

He began jotting down notes against the pad, then tucked it into the pocket of his uniform. "Very well then. You will be stacking these books back to the correct spot. I will not tolerate laziness or the lack of effort. If I catch you placing a book into its incorrect section, there will be consequences. Any questions?"

"Um…"

"Good. I will be sending Tokusa to assist you. He is a fellow worker who is more familiar around the library. But beware, he is a slacker. Try to be independent and not catch one of his traits," he warned.

Me? Become a slacker? I'm so caught up with work that there's no way that some lazy bum could ever influence me.

"I'll be downstairs. When you are done with your work, please come to me."

Then he left.

I slapped my face hard. Such an idiot! I should have asked him how in bloody sakes am I supposed to place these books in their correct places? And there must be about a _million _of these books! Not to mention how _large _this library is!

Oh my bloody goodness!

And just where exactly is this blond man at anyway? He said that he'll be downstairs, but can't he be more specific? Downstairs is rather large too.

And you can't just _randomly_ hire a person!

For a snob, he is quite the stranger. But at least I have a job. But I wanted something _much _simpler than this mess. They better give me a good paycheck afterwards.

I stood up and stared at the books again with dismay. There must be a quicker and easier way to put them away. Oh, who am I kidding? There is possibly no way that I can make this job go by quick! Well, I might as well start organizing the books by author. If I go try searching for each book's place one by one, then it will take up all my time doing so.

I pulled out a random book from the cart. It was written in French. I pulled another. New Moon by Stephenie Meyer. A Disney book about Lilo and Stitch. Another about Big Foot. Another about remedies for chicken pox. Okay then…for a college library, this place sure has the weirdest of all books. I tried again; hoping it would be something at least decent. And it was. War of Worlds by H.G Wells. A book that I attempted to read but failed because it was too complicated.

As I continued to pull book by book, most of them were high leveled. I attempted to read a paragraph, but couldn't. The wordings were too advanced for my brain to understand it all. I wonder if I will be able to understand how to read this when I'm in college.

I placed the Mark Twain books at one tall stack and the Mary Shelley books at another. There were even Sir Walter Scott's poems as well. Then there were William Shakespeare, George Bernard Shaw, Stevens Wallace, and Stoppard Tom. Some authors I don't even know, I stacked at their piles as well.

"What happened here?"

A young man gazed at me and the mess on the floor with curiosity. I was a little shocked by his appearance. He had this unique beauty about him, but I wouldn't say that he was handsome either. He kind of reminds me of a Native American, except paler. He has pale skin, light hair, and slanted eyes. There was some sort of marking on his face. His hair was pulled into a side ponytail, which came to my slight horror. Sheesh, why do I always come across the long haired men these days? _Cross, Kanda, the blond man, and now this guy_. Other than that, he wore a hoodie with the letters imprinted, DPBO.

"Your first day and you're already making a mess," he chuckled, rubbing his chin. I just blinked confusingly. Who is this guy?

"Yo. Nice ta meet ya." The man extended his hand out, smiling with friendliness. "I'm Tokusa Crowl," he said with a relaxed tone. I detected the husky accent in his voice. I wasn't sure what the accent was originated, like how mine was British, but it was…unique.

Realizing that he was the one that the blond man was going to send to assist me, I smiled back. "Oh, um, likewise," I replied, shaking his hand.

The man continued to smile. "Inspector told me about you, newbie. Hey there, newbie."

"Uh, please refrain from calling me that."

"Whatever you say."

He rubbed his chin again. "So what were you doing before I wandered here?" he asked. He stared at the piles that I made. I'm sure that there was a spark of amusement in his eyes.

"I was organizing each book by author. You know, to make the job go faster," I explained.

"How does it go by faster when you clearly made yourself a mess?"

I chewed my lower lip. "It just will."

"Okay…well, Inspector wanted me to help you out but…"

"But the mess I made?" I finished.

He smiled. "Yeah."

He bent down to the floor and picked up the William Shakespeare books. "The books by Shakespeare should be close by, and so are the George Bernard Shaw books. Pick those up too."

"Erm, alright." I did so. They were rather thick and there was a bunch. The weight was already paining my arms. "Now what?"

"Just follow me."

I did, and you know what? It took about five minutes to get to our destination. Since the books were incredibly heavy in my arms, I groaned at the third minute. "I thought you said that it wasn't far."

He just laughed at me. "We used to have carts, but they broke. The only one working is the one being burdened with books." The image of the black cart popped in my mind. I felt sorry for the inanimate object.

When he finally stopped, we were facing a tall bookshelf. "Well, start placing," Tokusa said.

I wasn't sure where to place the books back. I dropped the stack onto the floor and stretched my arms—which their muscles are in much need of a massage. I asked Tokusa where to place the books back. He told me just put the books by their correct author—it didn't matter in what order unless they were written by the same person.

"So, how old are you? You look a bit too young to be in college," he said.

"Um, I'm sixteen. I'm not in college yet," I said.

He looked at me with a bewildered expression. "Really? No wonder! I was quite shocked actually on how young you looked like." I pressed my lips together. "How did Inspector hire you anyway? Persuasion? Usually he's picky when hiring people."

"Who is this Inspector anyway?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that," he chuckled. "I call him Inspector just to piss him off. His name is Howard Link, the blond man with the odd bowl cut at the front?"

"Eh? Howard Link?" I repeated.

"Inspector if you want to piss him off."

I scratched my head. "Why do you call him Inspector?"

"Long story," he said, rubbing his chin.

"Right. Well, how I was hired? I just wandered here thinking that this was a public library. Then, um, _Howard_ came up to me and demanded that I should leave. Suddenly he asked me how old I was. I thought that he wanted to know whether or not I was a college student…but, well, I have no clue," I explained, fingering the spine of the book in my grasp.

"He probably wanted to know if you were a college student, actually." Tokusa shoved a book into the stuffed block of books.

"Yeah." I then fingered the pages. "Then he bombarded me with different questions. Afterwards, I found out that I was hired and was sent to be some book stacker."

Tokusa grinned, similar to the Cheshire Cat in the book of Alice in Wonderland. "That Link. I would never picture him doing anything so desperate, yet still keep his cool."

I felt a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth. "What do you mean by desperate?"

"This library is kind of short on workers. I can see why he wanted you to work here."

"Oh." I shrugged and took a quick glance at Tokusa. He really is different. I never had seen anyone like him—by race, accent, and features. He must be some rare species that is at the verge of extinction. Inwardly, I laughed at my joke.

At first, I would have hoped he wouldn't be going away soon. Tokusa seems to be a nice person. But from what Howard had said earlier, he is a slacker. Anyway, from where things are turning, I feel, eh…uncomfortable to be around him. He's like…somewhere between Lavi and _him. _From what I know of after these couple minutes of spending quality time with this strange man, he really seems like the Cheshire Cat. Confusing and mysterious.

"So, newbie—oops, my bad. So what's your name?" he asked.

"Allen Walker." Expecting for him to look at him weirdly because of my name, I looked away.

"Allen," he repeated.

I stared at him. He just continued to shove books back. He seems to notice my stare because he stopped and looked at me with wondering eyes. "What is it?"

"N-nothing," I quickly mumbled, looking away. "It's just that, well, people would usually think it's weird that I have a boy's name."

"I used to know this girl who was named Ricky."

"Ricky? Are you serious?"

"Yup. She was quite popular despite her masculine name."

I blinked. "I never knew that."

"Of course! She's about four years older than you."

I found it strange for Tokusa to seem so cheerful, yet not be. He maintains a totally calm composer. If he lets go of that composer, I'm sure that he would be like Lavi, besides the bouncy-ness and playfulness. Tokusa seems too collected to be like that.

I wonder if he's really the Cheshire Cat in disguise.

"There we go. All done," Tokusa declared.

"Huh?" All the books were gone. "Wow! That was quick," I gasped.

"'Course it is. I am a pro after all." He rubbed his chin.

"That's because you've been working here longer than I have," I pointed.

"Right, right. Now let's get the other books. My classes start within two hours."

Two hours? Would that be enough time to put away the millions of books? I hope that we do, otherwise, not only Tokusa will be late for his classes, but also Tyki will be worried sick over me…I think.

Well, who else is going to take care of Timcampy?

Walking back to the gargantuan stack of left over books, we passed by a man with a similar hoodie that Tokusa was wearing. Curious, I asked Tokusa, "What do those letters on your hoodie stand for?"

He glanced down at his hoodie. "Oh, these? Dark Priests Black Organization. Why do you ask?"

"I knew that it was a name for the library's college, but…whoa, that was some crazy name," I murmured.

"Actually, it fits for this university."

"And how so?"

"You'll find out when you attend to this university." He smiled at my way.

Now that I recall, Howard said that this was the Black Order University. Rather peculiar name. Why would he say that this was the Black Order instead the Dark Priests Black Organization? Could it be another way to call their college? I didn't ask Tokusa. I don't know why I couldn't. Maybe the fear of him thinking that I was someone who would pester one by asking far too many questions.

But there _was _one question that I could not help but ask. "Is this university a highly educated one?"

"Best one around."

"But not as great as Harvard or Yale, right?"

"Depends on what your skill is."

I frowned. "Skill? What? What do you mean?."

"You'll find out when you attend to this university," he said again.

"Seriously? I was hoping that this really was a prestigious college, but how can I know when you're not telling me?" I grumbled.

"Why? Are you actually planning on coming here?"

"I don't know; I'm not a senior yet."

"Tell you what," he said, "if you can guess how old I am, then I'll tell you."

"But…isn't that weird? Plus guessing how old you are just to know about this university?"

"What? It makes things interesting. Don't you want to know how old I am?"

"Not really."

"Come on, guess."

I bit my bottom lip, and then sighed. I studied his face. He looks youthful, though likely to be older than nineteen-years. I'm not sure if he could be Tyki's age or not. Well, he is definitely in his early twenties.

"Can I ask one question?" I asked.

"Nope."

I puffed out my cheeks in frustration.

I continued observing. He's pretty much the same height as Howard.

"Are you and Howard the same age?" I asked.

"I said no questions."

"Come on! It's not like I have the time asking how old he is."

"Fine," he chuckled, holding his chin. "We are the same age, but Inspector just recently had his birthday."

That filled up my curiosity. "Um...you're twenty-three."

He gasped. "Are you calling me _old_?"

"Twenty-two?" I tried again wearily.

"Too late. I'm twenty-one. Nice try anyway, Allen," he laughed.

"Twenty-one," I repeated. "That's like two years a senior from the last stage of your teenage years."

"Yup. I still feel like a teenager still," he said.

Inwardly, I rolled my eyes but asked, "And why is that?"

"Hmm, I guess I don't really change no matter what."

"Was your voice that deep when you were ten-years-old?"

"Hilarious, Allen. No. I meant that I don't change by personality."

The corner of his mouth was jerked down, almost like a frown. He says it as if it's a bad thing. Why is that? Perhaps because maybe all his friends matured and they excluded him out because he couldn't? I know how being excluded feels, but not by not maturing. I wonder what happened to him. And looking back, I suppose I share a same relation with Tokusa. I don't think I changed that much either, even though I swore that I would. How difficult _is_ change?

I wonder if I'm ever going to change myself. Tyki said that I would but…I think he's just saying that to reassure me. I cannot possibly live without him, but how can I stand when someone I trust so dearly make up some petty lie? Isn't it obvious? I cannot change. I cannot because…I still love _him_.

I shook my head. I don't want to think about this _now. _I'm here in New York. I'm here to at least try to change myself. This is no time to go back to the past and remind myself of the horrors.

"Allen? Allen, are you okay?" I flinched by someone's touch on my shoulder. It was Tokusa's hand. His expression was slightly apprehensive, yet still kept its unwavering aloofness.

I blinked. "O-of course. Why would you say that?"

He frowned. "Because you were grimacing. Plus you nearly knocked into someone," he explained.

"Oh," I whispered. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about something."

"About what?" he asked. He raised an eyebrow.

I bit my lower lip. "Something. Come on, we have to finish putting those books away," I added.

He gave me a dubious look, then nodded.

I should just stop thinking.

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note: **Okay! Just to say, Howard is twenty-one, but used to be twenty until his birthday came along. I just remembered that he was four years older than Allen, so I had to quickly add something. Thank you for your time!

_**Spoilers: **_The _he _and _him _parts of the story are no other than…Debitto! Allen still appears to be sensitive about that. After all, he was her first boyfriend.


	3. Blue Cars

A WORD FROM GIGGLES222WAWA

**Hola mis amigos! Mis padres compraste pescado. Estoy mal humor. Mi hermana buen humor. Estoy muy cansado pero feliz por las vacaciones se acerca! **

**Tu gustas libros? Me los gusto!**

Sorry, that was my attempt on making a sentence in Spanish, but I ended up making random ones.

Oh well.

Anyway, please enjoy this chapter as I listen to the scoldings of a friend who continunously tells me that I need to make my stories more senseible by making a plot instead of making it random.

I thought my stories had a plot until I heard what she said.

Which sucks like socks.

* * *

"Where'd you run off to?" Tyki asked.

I swallowed the doughnut before answering, "To the bakery."

"And how were you able to afford all that when you didn't carry money yourself?"

"Oh, this guy bought these for me. Surprisingly, he had a ton of cash with him."

Tyki narrowed his eyes. "Sounds suspicious."

"Well don't be. He's a fellow worker at this university library I tumbled by. Apparently, the library was in much need of another employee so I was hired to work there. Lucky for you, I found a job, huh?" I grinned.

Tyki rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. Good job. By the way, your bird isn't cranky anymore, but still irritated. You should probably bribe him with a doughnut or muffin."

"Where is he?"

Tyki pointed to the bookshelf where Timcampy was tucked close to the corner. I sighed with relief as I placed the overly large bag onto the table. Even if it was just bakery goods, the weight strained my arms.

Tyki had done a good job since I have left. So far, there were only a few boxes that had to be opened. I peered over to notice that he had attached the bed pieces together, thus making the structure of the beds for each of us. Now all Tyki had to do was place the mattresses to make it officially a bed.

I pulled a croissant out of the bag and tore it in half. I nibbled the other half and waved the other one in front of Tim's beak. Gladly, he craned his neck and took the bread from my fingers.

"Where'd you work at again?" Tyki asked, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

"At an university library. The place was bigger inside than it was outside. Incredibly big!" I replied, raising my arms over my head to gesture the expansion of the library.

"So, what position are you in? Check out books for the people? Stack books?"

"I stack the books to the shelves. At first, it was utterly ridiculous. The library was bloody huge, that there was no way I could have placed all of the books back to their original shelves. But then Tokusa—the one who bought these pastries for me—helped me out. Eventually, we managed to put away all of the books."

"Hmm, interesting." But Tyki did not sound like he was interested at all. He looked awfully tired. I wouldn't blame him. He worked all day long moving the furniture and such while I was off putting away books and eating yummy goods.

"Want a doughnut?" I offered. But he shook his head. "Too beat to even eat," he sighed, rubbing his head. "I think I'll take a shower, then head off to bed."

"Okay."

Before he left for the room, he asked, "So, what are you going to do for school?"

I blinked. "S-school?"

"Yeah. If you're not going to school, then there would be no way that you can go to college, you know."

"Barmy! I have forgotten about that! I was so busy with work that I have forgotten about my education!"

Tyki chuckled. "Well, you can always look for a school nearby tomorrow. Say, are you working at the library that day?"

Recalling, I told Howard that I could work everyday besides Sunday. Tomorrow was Saturday. That means I have to work, but tomorrow I have to head out before 8:30 because that is when I start my new job.

"I do," I answered, "but I'll be starting in the morning, so I might have time in the afternoon."

Tyki nodded. "It looked like you are in good terms with that guy who bought you the food. He might be able to help you out on finding your new school."

"But what about you?"

"I might finish up with the unpacking, then head out to find a job. You don't think one job would pay for all the expanses now, do you?"

"I suppose that you are right." After all, there _are _many things that are still in debt. Knowingly, it seems fair that I should also work for our share.

That night, after washing up, I lied on my bed, staring at the ceiling above me. Tim, apparently, had forgiven me and is now perched on the rack of the closet. There was practically nothing in there, since it has been long since I went out shopping for new clothes. Some of my old clothes have been worn out, so I was left with no choice but throw them away.

"Well, Tim, how do you like our new home?"

Tim looked up from his feather cleaning, cocking his head to one side before tweeting. Or squawking. I don't know…maybe Tyki was right. Maybe Timcampy _is _part parrot, vulture, finch, and whatnot.

"I like it too, though it is rather cramped. Much smaller than our old home." Tim cocked his head again, then tucked his beak under his wing.

I smiled and sat up to turn off the lamp.

The next morning, I dressed plainly again. Wearing jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, sneakers, a jacket, and my cap, I was ready to head out. Of course, I didn't leave the apartment before eating breakfast.

"See you later," Tyki called.

I nodded. "Yep!"

Usually, I would dread of going to work. Perhaps it was just Starbucks—because it always stank of coffee and the usual routine always brought me misfortune. Such as being soaked with steaming mocha by Ashley.

That slut of a girl. Even though she brought forth rage to my life, I wonder what has become of her. She looked utterly sadden and furious after she had been dumped by Lavi. But maybe she had received what she deserves. Always looking down at others, making herself look much more ultimate. How rude she was. How selfish she was. How insecure she was.

Yet, what do I know about her?

Nothing.

I knew all along that she was likely the cause of me hating my job at that coffee shop. Before I took up the job, Starbucks seem like a subtle place where people can come in for the aroma of newly brewed coffee, the peaceful air, and the familiarity between customers and workers.

Often I despised working at any job I took up, but strangely enough, I was excited to work at the library today. Maybe it's because my job is at, well, a library.

So weird. A library isn't as exciting as Starbucks. Why am I excited going there? Was it because I carried a desire of exploring the large building? Was it because maybe Howard would allow me to borrow books from there? Was it because Tokusa would make another funny yet weird conversation and probably would buy me more food? What was it?

Perhaps it was all those things.

Never in my life have I experienced something so different before. That makes sense. It was like an adventure. I'm learning something so new, so fun. I guess life in New York was better than I have thought.

As I entered inside the library, I was greeted by the friendly warmth of air that gushed against my cold skin. I walked to the stationary when I saw Howard there.

"Ah, Walker, just in time." Howard averted his gaze to me, looking just as snobbish as before.

"Hi Howard," I greeted.

He blinked, then sighed. "Tokusa told you my name, didn't he?"

"Erm, yes."

"Walker, I rather much have you call me in a formal way. After all, we are here to work, not make friends. You may call me Link." Calling someone by his _last name_? How on earth is that _formal_?

Oh well, he is the boss. "Yes, Link."

He gave a curt nod. "Very well. Today you have some book stacking to do. Tokusa should be on the third floor. You should be able to find the book cart."

He then handed me a clipboard with a yellow form attached to it. "Here, sign your name in the box below, then the time you have arrived. You will work approximately five hours per day. When you are done, you will put the time you have finished your job. You will do this every time you come here. Understood?"

I nodded. He then handed me a pen.

In the boxes, there was a list of names. I noticed Tokusa Crowl's name, printed in all capital letters. Next to his name was the time he had started. I was shocked. He started at 5:00! Why did he need to work so early?

After writing my name and the time I came here, I proceeded upstairs—which took me a bloody while. It seems more like some fitness session rather than a place to read. I would sometimes stop to relax my legs, then walk up the stairs again.

Once I was finally up, I paled at the sight. Howard—I mean, Link was right. I was able to find the book cart. Honestly, how can anyone miss it? It was so big, so noticeable, so…so…so _gargantuan _that caused me to skip a heart beat. That was how big it was.

"Hey Allen. Didn't know you would work on Saturdays," came a familiar voice.

Tokusa walked up to me, wearing that same mysterious smile. Same as the last time I have seen him, he was uniquely beautiful, but not exactly handsome. _Especially_ _not _ugly either.

"Hi Tokusa," I greeted.

Tokusa didn't wear his university hoodie this time. He wore a cloak with black pants, a white button-up shirt, and a checkered scarf that wrapped around his neck. Strangely, this outfit matched his appearance, except for the nametags that we were required to wear at all times.

"Ready for work?" he said.

"Well I was…until I saw _this_."

He chuckled, rubbing his chin. "No need to fret, I'm here all day."

"You don't have classes to attend to?"

"There's no classes to go to when there is a weekend."

"Oh." I didn't know that.

I filled my arms with books, like how Tokusa had told me to, and followed him. "What a great day it is today, don't you think?" he said, smiling that odd grin of his.

I smiled back though. "Uh, I suppose that it is. Despite this chilly weather we have here."

"Yes, it is cold, isn't it? But no matter! Cold season means orange season!" Again, Tokusa came up yet with another strange topic for us to converse. I just had to shake my head from the randomness.

"And what's orange season?" I asked, laughing lightly.

"Why, orange season is when oranges are ripened. Didn't you know?"

"Oh, well, I never really paid much attention to…the season when fruits are ripe."

"Well, in this time of year, oranges are now sold in stores."

"I take it that you like oranges."

"Oh yes, I do. And it is funny how oranges are named after the color of their skin and juices. Perhaps the one who came up with the names of fruits in the beginning of time just ran out of ideas and named it an orange."

I adjusted my hold of the books so the corners would dig any deeper into my arms. "Right," I said stiffly. "Like how pineapples have the word apples in it."

"Oh Allen, you are quite an odd one, aren't you?" Tokusa laughed.

I didn't want to hear that from him.

"So, have you found a school yet?" he asked.

Yesterday, I told Tokusa that I have just moved to New York. I didn't say much afterwards, like how I'm living with Tyki and Tim and that I'm an orphan girl, because it's best to be aware of the people you are with. Especially when you have met them only for a day. But it's not like I known that for the longest time. Tyki has been repeatedly warning me of such things.

Obviously, he's similar to Komui, Lenalee's crazy brother.

Argh…I'll _never _be able to forget that incident. Cursed Cross Marian.

"Not yet," I answered. "I completely forgotten about it. I was suppose to search for one yesterday after work, remember?"

"Yeah, I do recall that. I guess it was my doing that caused you to forget, since I bought you some goods."

"That did distract me, especially how heavy it was, I was forced to go home since I can't possibly drag it with me wherever I go."

"Are you going to look for one after work?"

"Like I have much of a choice," I grumbled. "But to answer your question, yes I am." Then I remembered what I wanted to ask Tokusa about. "Say Tokusa, you wouldn't have plans after work, would you?"

"No, not really. Are you asking me out?"

I gawked. "No! I hardly even know you!"

Tokusa laughed heartily, clasping a hand on his forehead and leaned back. "I was just teasing you, Allen! Oh, your face was priceless! I wish someone have taken a picture of it!"

I frowned. "Well, that was rather rude. You caught me by surprise!"

Tokusa continued to laugh, despite us being in a library.

"Senile goof," I sighed under my breath. "Come on, I'm trying to be serious, but your laughing so much, I'm about to loose my trace of thought!"

"Sorry, sorry, please, go on," Tokusa chuckled, rubbing his chin.

"Okay, as I was saying before—and no comments—do you have plans after work?"

"No, and why do you ask?"

"Well, I was wondering if you know any nearby high schools. I don't own a car, no less know how to drive, so it's a misfortune that I won't be able to get to any good school. So if there is any closer school, I would be very appreciated if you can show me the way to it."

"Sure, why not?"

"Really?"

"Yep."

My face brightened as a smile lit upon my face. "Oh, thank you so much!"

Tokusa smiled back, almost making it seem normal. "And you are very welcome. But I have to pick up a friend of mine and drop him off at the dorms. His car is being repaired after an incident had occurred. And I'll tell you one thing: he's not exactly what you call social friendly, so I suggest that you don't even bother trying to make a conversation out of him."

Sounds like a Kanda.

"He's in the same dorm as you?" I asked.

"He is. And also we share the same classes."

"He's twenty-one?"

"Why, yes he is."

Inwardly, I sighed with omega relief. I had a gut feeling that it might have been Kanda. Of course, why would Kanda be friends with Tokusa anyway? Or be friends with _anybody_? Hmm, but he was friends with Lavi, wasn't he? Or maybe Lavi just liked to annoy Kanda, then suddenly considered the victim as his friend.

I almost feel bad for Kanda. But then again, Kanda always makes me feel bad, so I take any pity back.

Tokusa displayed a look of shock, which seemed obvious that he was pretending. "Allen, don't tell me that you already have fallen for him! You don't know his name, no less know what he looks like!"

"Stop teasing me, Tokusa! I was just worried if this friend of yours might have been this guy who I used to know!" I groaned.

Tokusa chuckled, averting back to his usual Cheshire Cat aura. "A past boyfriend?"

I groaned again. "Please, like I would _let _him be even more acquainted with me. He is the most—he's so—I can't even describe words about him for he is the world's biggest jerk of all of jerks. No, the entire _solar system_! Why, if there was a jerk competition all the way in Uranus—if aliens do exist—then he will surely win. No, he's _gonna_ win because his menacing glare frightened the poor Uranus aliens' tails off!"

Tokusa whistled, rubbing his chin. "Sounds to me that the two of you don't get along very well."

"Yes, we do not."

"How about we finish our job, then jet."

"Of course. And it will be a pleasure to meet yet another anti-social person. How thrilling."

After the five hours, Tokusa told Link that he would come back again to finish his hours. Apparently, Tokusa must work for nine hours of the day. No wonder he must wake up early. I wonder why he has to work that many hours.

When we exited the doors of the library, a breeze of cold air brushed my ears and cheeks. My teeth chattered as I hastily shoved my fingers into the pockets of my jacket. Tokusa took notice of this and wrapped his scarf around my neck.

"You didn't have to do that," I said. The warmth of the scarf instantly thawed my shivering face.

Tokusa smiled. "That's all right. I'm more used to the cold anyway."

"I'll return it back to you once we're done, then."

"You do that. Now, come along. If Madarao realized that I'm late, then he's going to strangle me."

My eyes widened. "And you consider this man to be your friend?" I choked.

"My, Allen, did you really believe that? I was merely using a metaphor."

I shook my head.

Tokusa then led me to a blue car. For some reason, I would have suspected that Tokusa would have been driving an expansive black car that was stunningly shiny. But what he rode was, well, really normal. Weird.

"Should I sit in the front or back?" I asked.

"In the front if you want to have that scary feeling that you're being stared at by two laser beams, or in the back where you won't have to deal with the laser beams but deal with a drastic change in temperature."

I lifted both hands, weighing one the back seat and the other the front seat. "Laser beams, drastic temperature. Hmm. That seems really tricky. Hey wait, couldn't this friend of yours sit in the front, next to you?"

"He could, but after that car incident, he refuse to sit in any blue cars at the front."

I raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?"

"Well, funny story," Tokusa chuckled.

I made up my mind and sat at the back. I'm sure that God has told me that He didn't want me to experience the feeling of being stared at by laser beams. Thank _You,_ my Lord.

"So what's the story?"

"Well, you know how Madarao has his car being repaired, right?"

I nodded.

"His car didn't just break recently, it's been broken for about two years."

"Two years? So you have been driving him to wherever that long?"

"Only sometimes. Our friends drive him as well."

"Oh. Well, then why hasn't his car been fixed?"

"You see, his car belonged to his teacher, who was like a father figure to him since his biological father either left him when he was young, or died. He never knew his parents. So because he idolized him, he kept that contraption of a transport. Sad to say but that car was probably at least more than a hundred years old. It always coughs up smoke and the engine would sometimes randomly burst into flames."

"Seriously?" I gasped.

"Oh yes. The random-flame-bursting thing would have been something I would laugh at, but Madarao is a menacing figure so I wouldn't risk it. Anyway, Madarao decided to have the old piece of junk repaired, but no matter what, it always breaks apart. So again, he had it repaired. The guy was so stubborn about having it fixed that he was almost broke. But he's never ever broke. He's a workaholic, only if he has to be one."

"What does he work as?" I asked.

"Many things. He's very talented, and so is his sister. Speaking of which, I do believe his sister is the same age as you. I should introduce you two to one another."

"Stay on track, Tokusa."

"Pardon, pardon. As I was saying, Madarao's been working nonstop for weeks. It surprises me how he was able to stay awake without much sleep. Must have been drinking coffee as his meals. Anyway, one day, Madarao had to go to work but didn't have transportation because the buses were late. So he called Bak, a friend of ours—well, I think him as a friend, to drive him to his job. Bak drove a blue car."

I snorted.

"And Madarao sat in the front," Tokusa went on. "As Bak was driving, something occurred, which caused the car to skid into several spins after the hit. From what I heard from Bak, the car was spinning so fast that he was sure that he had seen the future. And his future was that he would one day marry this girl that he's so obsessed with. It's not even funny."

I snorted again, and grinned.

"It was going so fast that Madarao was turning colors, from what Tevak had told me. Oh, by the way, Tevak is Madarao's younger sister and she was there the whole time. She sat at the back. Bak was suppose to drive her at the groceries."

"This girl told you about everything that happened?" I asked.

"Most of it. Bak told me some, but not too much because he was embarrassed of what just happened."

"Why would he be embarrassed?"

Even though I sat behind him, I could sense Tokusa making a devious smile. "Well, even though the motion was going incredibly fast, her keen eyes caught the footage of Bak puking on Madarao's lap."

I slapped my mouth, but a burst of laughter slipped anyway.

"She was just as stoic as her brother," Tokusa laughed lightly, "but because she said it so emotionlessly, it sounded too funny! 'Bak threw up on my brother's lap'", Tokusa imitated the voice and tone, and he was right, it was hysterical!

"What happened next?" I was now eager of knowing what else happened.

Tokusa's laugh wore down to a calm chuckle. "Hmm, let me remember…oh yes! Then, now splattered with Bak's breakfast, Madarao turned into another color. Tevak said that she was sure he turned into a color, but the motion was causing her to go dizzy, so she couldn't quite grasp the situation very well. Suddenly, the car made an abrupt stop, which threw the three to the side. Apparently, they hit the car-repairing store, which Madarao had sent his old car to be fixed. Well, his whole life changed after that when he suddenly saw that Bak's blue car had made a strong impact against his car that it went soaring high and landed with a thud. The old piece of junk was now shattered into tiny bits."

"Whoa."

"Yes. And the impact was on Madarao's side, so it cost him a broken arm and leg. Then Tevak told me that Bak puked on him again."

I laughed. "Is that it?"

"Not at all. You see, while Madarao was at the hospital, one of the nurses brought flowers, which was a coincidence since the flowers were blue. That instantly reminded him of Bak's blue car."

"Did he ever get mad at Bak for that incident?"

"No, because witnesses had seen why his car made such a spin."

"What was it?"

"Quite ironic, but it was a banana peel."

I blinked. "Seriously?"

"No, wait, three banana peels. It was because the car slipped on three banana peels."

"Oh my word…"

"I told you it was ironic."

I clutched the scarf that was coiled around my neck and laughed again. "That must be the _funniest_ thing I have ever heard! By the way, was your car always blue?"

Tokusa snickered. "No. It was originally white, but after hearing what happened, I had it painted blue. I would never forget that expression Madarao had on his face when he saw my car when I went to pick him up."

"What was it?"

"A glare."

"That must have been some glare!"

"Indeed it was."

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and asked, "But if his car was smashed into bits and bits, then how was it possible for Madarao to have it repaired again?"

"You see, people picked up all the possible pieces that were still usable for a car. Madarao then hired a man to use the leftovers to construct a car that was the same mobile as the car his teacher had given to him."

"That must have been some teacher for Madarao to look up to."

"Well, I suppose you can say that. But I think he's bit of a nutcase."

Tokusa said that Madarao was a stoic and anti-social person. The way he talked about him makes him even more like Kanda, and that's just terrifying. But for him to have someone to make him convinced that he has a father by his side really amazes me. It reminds me of Mana.

I touched the rim of my cap, Mana's cap. I really miss him. When my parents rejected me, he had shown me sympathy instead of pity, what most people would throw me. He gave me happiness and love, something that I have never experienced at a young age. Then when he died, Cross adopted me. I suppose I should be grateful to Cross for doing such a thing, but he didn't have to worn me out by paying off his million debts.

Then the car drove to a slow stop. "Allen, are you sitting on the left side?" Tokusa asked.

"I am," I replied, looking up.

"Okay. I'll go and get Madarao."

Tokusa unbelted his seat and stepped out. I waited and stared out of the window, which much to my dismay, was higher than I could see. Jeez, Tokusa should heighten these seats. Makes me feel like a bean sprout.

I rolled my eyes upward, staring off at the sky until I noticed two figures walking towards. I noticed Tokusa's head and another person's.

I craned my neck to see who it was. Shocked, I saw a man who resembled Tokusa in some way. He carried the same pale Native American traits, eye markings, and fair hair. His hair was spiked in a natural way, but his bangs were straight and were tipped off black. At the back of his head were two hair strands that were beaded with large round black beads. There was also a black feather hanging in his hair. An odd decoration, but this way made him more and more like a Native.

Tokusa opened the door, and the door that was on my right opened. "This is Allen, the girl who I've told you about. This is Madarao, the guy who I've told you about," Tokusa said with his casual tone of voice.

"Hello," Madarao said monotonously, giving a curt nod.

"Um, nice to meet you," I replied, giving a small smile.

I noticed how sharp and calculating his eyes appeared, unlike the slant and lazy-gazed eyes Tokusa had. Madarao was indeed uniquely stunning, but in his own way. Tokusa was stunning as well in his own was also.

"Say, where'd Tevak run off to this morning? I haven't seen the girl all day," Tokusa said.

"She's staying at her dorm, working on her project that is due two days later," Madarao answered.

"With Kiredori?"

"Yes."

As the two men went on with their conversation—more like Tokusa idly chatting away while Madarao made solemn and short replies, I was drifting away into sleep as I listened to their conversation. Funny, their voices were like some foreign lullaby when conversing. It must be because their accents are out of this world.

I wonder what heritage they were originally from. Maybe an albino and Native mix, perhaps. Maybe one day Tokusa would tell me about himself and about his friends. I'm quite curious about Link as well.

A yawn escaped my lips. I shifted my head and fell asleep.


	4. Dreams and Shards

Author's Note:

Hey, hey, hey! Yo, yo, yo!

People! Places! Thing-ah-meh-jiggers!

Ahem, sorry. Anyway, here you peoples go. Yet another chapter of this story. I feel bad for you people who read this—this—this _abomination_!

Just joking.

_Anyway, _I hope that everyone would pull through because after this chapter, I will bring up the one and only…Someone who everybody loves…Which will be a spoiler to the entire thing…A new spark to romance…

Well, just to say that I'm going to bring up a certain character in the next chapter. But in this chapter, it's mostly a supporting chapter to help the reader get an idea of what the heroine's daily routine is going to be. Unfortunately, it's probably not that very interesting, if you are not the patient type. So please stay tuned for the next chapter!

* * *

A shake rattled my shoulders. I felt a groan bubbling up at the back of my throat. Argh, I don't want to get up yet! Couldn't Tim let me a few minutes late for school? I'm sure Rhode and the others wouldn't mind waiting a bit.

But unfortunately, the shaking would not stop. Irritated of the nonstop disturbance, I brought my head up, and then a sudden realization came to me. Tim doesn't have hands, he's a bird! And this doesn't feel like my bed…more like a car seat. Where am I?

"Allen, you sleeping lump, wake up," said an amused voice.

I forced my eyes to open, now sharing eye contact with Tokusa. "Tokusa?" I grumbled, a yawn escaping my lips. "Was I asleep the entire time?"

"During my conversation with Madarao, yes," Tokusa chuckled, rubbing his chin. "Nevertheless, he found it quite rude."

I raised an eyebrow. "Rude that…I fell asleep?"

"Rude that you fell asleep when you two had just met. Was our talk really that dull?"

"I was tired, that's all." Which was true, but I didn't want to mention how their voices mixed into a soothing lullaby. That would have been incredibly embarrassing. And I am sure that Tokusa would not allow me to leave without his intolerable teasing.

"Hmm, well you did appear to be exhausted in the library. Oh well, it's rather too late for you to make it up to him. He already dubbed you as the 'rude-sleeping-girl'." A smirk formed his lips.

"And I do hope that I will not have cross paths with this fellow ever again." If there is one thing I detest the most, besides Cross's countless debts and my child labor detour, it's being called by such a ridiculous nickname. I would know. Kanda was the first one to give me something creative.

Out of all the things he could have labeled me as, he chose bean sprout. Amazing.

"I can see that you have already taken a liking to your new name," Tokusa said.

"I was never fond of nicknames in the first place. Usually I have been known as something very unpleasant," I sighed. Lesbian. Emo. Freak. Weirdo. Bleach-Head. White-Haired-Delinquent. It's all the same, with the exception of bean sprout. Still amazing.

"I see. Well, come on, I found yourself a school that I am sure you would just love."

I perked up. "And when I was asleep? How long did it take you?"

"Not very long. In fact, it's about a couple walks from the library."

I pouted. "You could have informed me that _before _driving me to elsewhere. What a waste of time that was," I said. The older male just simply gave me a smug look, but I didn't mind.

Tokusa stepped out of the car so that I could. I was somewhat eager to see what this school would be like. Now that I'm in New York, I'm hoping for a change. Perhaps I'll be able to make amends with the relationships of others that I was hesitant of making because of my appearance or what I have thought about them before knowing them.

"Science Branch Department High," Tokusa said as I slid off the seat, "is quite an ordinary school, or so I have heard from Bak. He used to attend here during his high school years."

It was larger than my old school for sure, but it didn't seem any different other than the extra gardening treated here. Though, I had a feeling that this school would be much, much different than the other one. Probably better. Even better than Noah Academy.

If I'm lucky, I might even be able to make a friend on my first day, but that would be merely wishful thinking. It is practically impossible to create a friend on your first day, unless you are surrounded with too friendly people, then perhaps.

"I hope I'll be able to fit in," I sighed.

Tokusa offered a kind smile, which still looked like any other sly Cheshire Cat smile. "Oh, don't fret over such things, Allen. Why, when I was your age, I was constantly showered with admiration and love from all the students on my first day."

"You lie," came out my automatic answer.

"Well I tried," he said, shrugging.

I snorted. "Hilarious, Tokusa, but be reasonable. I am probably going to make a fool out of myself on my first day. I probably will slip and fall in front of the whole class, or trip over and spill gravy all over my head at lunch." I groaned, shaking my head.

"I didn't know that you had the tendencies of being a klutz, Allen."

"It's a natural thing."

"So you say."

I shoved my cold fingers inside the pockets of my jacket. I had almost forgotten that I was wearing Tokusa's scarf; no wonder my neck felt warm. "You don't suppose that Bak had mentioned any bullies?" I said, looking up at the taller man.

"Like Bak would be one to mention any antagonists harassing the oh-so mighty him!" he laughed, throwing his head back. "But if there weren't any harassing him, he still wouldn't mention them. He's not exactly the type who would want to talk about anything negative."

This Bak fellow might have already gotten the joy in life, or that he's prone to egoistic illness, considering how Tokusa talks about him. I still feel sorry for him about the incident with the blue car, though I found it rather disgusting of him to puke on Madarao's lap like that. But hey, what can you do? It's not as if he had the time to think about a barf bag or anything.

I smiled wearily. "Well, all schools have bullies, so this one for sure has one, at the least," I looked back at the school and felt my voice strain when I spoke.

"I take it that you used to play a role as the victim," Tokusa said. "And I take it that you are afraid."

I pulled the scarf up to the bridge of my nose to hide away the blatant expression I probably am wearing right now. "Maybe," I grumbled a bit too loudly.

Tokusa gave me what looked like a pity smile, except it looked happier. "I always did peg you as a plain Jane when I first met you."

"Is that so."

"Quite."

I wanted to roll my eyes. "And I take it that plain Jane's always get themselves into such messes because they are so _plain."_

"I would have to agree on that." My eye twitched.

I was about to snap a comment because I was becoming more and more irritated with Tokusa's replies, seeing that he was so confusing and was twisting the conversation, but he was still talking. "Stunning beauty may impress others, but inside they are characterless_. Uninteresting._ What they do actually care about is what their physical trait is.

"And as to those who have no spark to their appearance, I found some to be a bit more out of the box. Yes, they are frequently picked on by tormentors because they are deemed to be none of importance of what they look, but the messes they overcome will be looked back in the future. They would appear to be more like adventures than just mere bad days."

I raised an eyebrow. I was taken back by Tokusa's odd explanation, though it did seem logical, in its own way. "I suppose that you calling me a plain Jane should be a compliment then?"

"No, that you should be honored."

I allowed my eyes to roll. "Whatever. But there was one part that I didn't get from your, uh, explanation."

"And what would that be?"

"Well, you think that if, hypothetically, I was shoved into a garbage can but managed to crawl myself out, I would later see that as my adventure?"

"Of course not!" Tokusa exclaimed, causing me to flinch. "Being shoved into a can would be just being shoved into a can. What adventuresome event would that be? None!" I was still confused. Tokusa did just say that being bullied would lead anybody to an adventure, or when you look back to it. Was Tokusa just making up an excuse back then so that he would be able to cover up for his 'plain Jane' insult?

"Then what would you say would be, um…adventuresome?" I asked.

"Have you ever read 'The Neverending Story'?"

"Erm, yes. Why?"

"Do you remember the boy of the story? The main character?"

I nodded.

"Was he worshipped as if he owned the entire planet or was overlooked and often picked on?"

My eyebrows furrowed. "He was bullied…But if you're saying that the average-looking people would have adventures like that, then I would have to say that you are clearly not right in the head. Those adventures were not real. They might appear to be real in the book, but never in reality."

But Tokusa didn't look as if he was paying attention to whatever I was saying, he just went on with his talking after I had finished. "'A Wrinkle in Time'?"

I frowned, but answered anyway. "Yes."

"'Inkheart'?"

"Yes."

"'Chronicles of Narnia'?"

"Yes."

"Twilight?"

I blinked. "You read those kinds of books?"

"No, but I'm asking if _you _read them."

"I…read it out of curiosity," I admitted. "But it's not like I enjoyed it!" Which I didn't. I never liked those cliché tales. Though the vampire touches were…interesting. But that was when I was secretly reading romance and before Lavi was annoying me.

Tokusa smiled amusingly, much to my letdown. "I see. And what about 'Brave Story'?"

"Um, no."

"Really? Then I encourage you to read it. Though the translations are a bit rusty, I don't blame the translator. It _was _originally in Japanese, after all."

"It has nothing to do with anime, does it?" I raised an eyebrow. Kanda's orange ninja costume suddenly popped up in my head. He was dressed up as, uh, that blond boy wearing bright orange clad jumpsuit. Natu, was it? Or was it Naruru? Nurama? Uh, something that sounds Japanese and starts with N.

Tokusa tilted his head. "Anime? Like those strange animal-like creatures with super powers, right?" H glanced at me curiously while I shrugged. "No, 'Brave Story' is not related to any Japanese cartoons."

What a relief.

"'Brave Story'," I repeated. "I'll check that one out later. But what is the use of asking me all of these questions?"

"Allen, have you ever placed your perspective into the story instead of the main character?" Tokusa leaned against the hood of his car. "Because I do it all the time."

I frowned at the sudden change of topic, but I decided to play along, seeing that there is no use trying to get the answer from the likes of him. "Even if the character is the opposite gender?"

"I would have to change the thoughts into masculine perspective because then that would be just too _creepy_," he chirped. I rolled my eyes again. "But if I later begin to dislike the traits the character develops as I grow deeper into the story, I always jump to another character."

"Character jumping?"

"Yes."

"But why do you do that instead of imagining the whole thing without you making changes to the story?"

"Because what fun is it if you're just sitting there, basically doing nothing, while the others take part of the action and fun? I place myself there so that I would be able to join the excitement."

I was sure that I was about to say that the whole character perspective thing is weird, but then…it wasn't so weird anymore. Tokusa does have a point. It would be dull if you can't experience any exhilarating role, even if it wasn't truly experiencing it. It was more like acting. Like you're performing in someone else's place, except you still have your personality and appearance.

"So far," Tokusa said, "I haven't met a single dazzler who is interested into reading, or be more focused on anything exciting. They practically have only one goal in their life, and that is to beautify themselves even more so that they would find themselves a suitable mate who is as dazzling as they are. I pity them enormously."

"Tokusa, you wouldn't happen to be interested into all that adventure and fantasy thriller, would you?" I asked.

"Of course I would, Allen."

I _cannot_ believe it. Tokusa doesn't realize how beautiful he is? Or perhaps he does, but is implying people other than himself? If that's the case, I suppose that would be it. But it just seems to me that he doesn't know what he looks like.

Have he checked himself at the mirror daily? Perhaps he is blind. No! What am I saying? Of course he wouldn't be blind, but maybe have blurry vision? It could be that he compares himself to the _American _beauties out there instead of his unique and rare beauty.

"And besides," he went on, "wouldn't it be wonderful if life was just like that instead of this routine that we go through daily?"

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

Tokusa plopped his elbow on the hood of his car, with his chin resting at his palm. "I wake up every morning and think how fun it would be if there was some fantasy placed in my life. Perhaps travel miles and miles just to discover a mystic sword, slaughter demons that prowl on the surface, and so on." Tokusa sighed dryly, looking towards my direction. "But I know that life isn't always so generous, so this is the life I have to accept, since I was born into this one."

Tokusa looked so sad for a minute, and then smiled like he usually does. As if he was hiding away his feelings. Was he hiding all this time? It definitely looks so. I was sure that was going to add that he was going to give up because life didn't give what he wanted, but he didn't. He said that he was just going to accept the way life was.

I'm sure that he would be happier than just giving up. That wouldn't be very heroic of him if that happened. And besides, I wouldn't have to give him the godly talk about how God had made the earth, the light, the waters, and so on. Not that I know whether he's a believer of God or not. But still. It was as if he was going to commit suicide so that he would be able to have a change. And I was scared for a second.

He wants an adventure so badly that he would turn to books so that he could place his perspective in place of the main character, or any character that would satisfy his needs. If I suddenly jumped to the conclusion that Tokusa was someone really strange, then I would have never understand how desperate he feels trying to escape this reality that he lives in. I felt connected to him in some way. I think I know how he feels about life generally.

"Tokusa," I said, "are fantasy and adventure your favorite genres?"

"Didn't it seem obvious?"

And so it was. "Well, yes…and I can see why you enjoy them so very much, but haven't you ever enjoyed any other genre?"

"I did try 'Waiting For The Rain', and immensely enjoyed it."

"What was it?"

"Historical fiction, which was peculiar for me because I usually don't like does types of books."

I nodded. "Oh."

"And I am quite fond of non-fiction pertaining to certain mammals and reptiles."

"That's kind of out of the box," I laughed.

Tokusa smiled. "I suppose that you are right."

I wasn't sure what we were doing now, but I found ourselves just staring at the school before us. I sat at the hood of his car while Tokusa leaned at his window. It was just like that. The two of us just relaxing and soaking up the peaceful silence. For once, silence wasn't so awkward, but nice.

I recalled about the things we have discussed in our conversation. They were sort of random, all because of Tokusa. As I have thought about him before, he is indeed a mysterious one, but I like him. In fact, I think that Tokusa might be someone who I can relate to in those types of life situations the best. Unlike Lavi who is fond of his popularity, and Kanda who doesn't care about anything at all, Tokusa might be one stouthearted knight after all.

Just then, a cheery ringtone penetrated the peace. Tokusa brought out his cellphone and flipped it open. "Yellow," he said. "Oh, Inspector, hello to you too. What, break's already over? What a shame and here I was just about to kill a cow. Yes, yes, yes, and no, yes, all right, I'll be there." He slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"Well, Mr. Snobby-Winkers just called," Tokusa coolly said, "and he wants me back to work."

I grinned. "Snobby-Winkers?"

"Only when I'm pissed!" he cheerfully said, smiling radiantly.

He doesn't look angry.

"Want me to drop you off at your place?"

"No, it's all right. I can walk home, like I usually do," I said. "You just go to your job; otherwise Mr. Snobby-Winkers will be one angry snob."

Tokusa gave me one of his usual Cheshire Cat smiles and began walking away. Then I realized that I still had his scarf. "Oh, wait! Here, you almost went without your scarf."

I was about to unwrap the scarf, until Tokusa placed his hand over mine. "That's all right; you can bring it back to me next time. It's still chilly, so I wouldn't want you to catch a cold."

"Are you sure? Your hand is kind of cold."

"That's because I'm always cold. It is all right, I adapt to the cold better than the heat. I'll survive."

After that, we said our goodbyes. Though I really wanted to return Tokusa his scarf back, the scarf was really warm. And snuggly too. I wonder where he bought this. Maybe I could get myself one.

When I had returned home, I told Tyki about the good news. He was relieved that I was able to find a school that wasn't too far from home, since he doesn't have a car to drive. Tyki told me that he would have me registered as a student later when he drops by the school. I found myself to be a little excited.

Tim was much calmer than he had been before, but then I saw that all the bakery goods that I have brought yesterday were gone. Tyki isn't exactly a fan of sweets, so it obviously was Tim who had eaten all of them.

Argh. He's already fat as it is.

But whatever. At least I have my lovable Timcampy back to normal, without him having to glare at me like some vulture. Argh, I should talk to Tyki about that. And perhaps about some bird diet as well. So that, you know, Tim wouldn't get diabetes, if that is possible.

The next two days, on Monday—since it didn't open on Sundays, Tyki and I had gone to the school's office to get my registration. Tyki was oblivious to it, but even I—the _dense _one, as everybody calls me, much to my dislike—could see how the office ladies would blush and swoon over Tyki. I found it mildly disgusting, considering them to be about thirty years older than the man.

I would enroll to Science Branch Department High School within two weeks, since all the students were preparing some sort of carnival and weren't really receiving any sort of education, which was fine with me. I needed to help Tyki with the furniture, anyway.

"Hey, how about we see this carnival of theirs? Ya know, like a little getaway from all the hard work we've been doing," Tyki suggested.

"Tyki, you didn't even find yourself a job yet, so how could you suggest such a thing?" I scoffed. "And besides, I'm not interested in going."

"I suppose if Rhode was here, she wouldn't be able to convince you about 'hot' men being there, right?"

I decided to feign my innocence—or stupidity. "_Ew_! Why would I be interested into men who are having some sort of odd body temperature? Wouldn't they be disgustingly sweaty?" I dissembled a gagging act, as if I was trying to remove the taste of repulsion.

As I have figured, Tyki had caught on. He rolled his eyes, but snorted humorously. "I see your hormones haven't fully hatched," he sarcastically said, waving his hand in a dismissive manner, "is to no wonder why you don't have as much pimples as Rhode did when she was thirteen."

I grinned goofily. "Rhode had pimples?"

"And acne. Horrible, horrible acne. But she had cleverly hidden them with makeup. Damn you feminine tools, especially concealer. And I brought my camera ready too." Tyki sighed, but was smiling while he did so.

"What's concealer?" My smile disappeared. I was now curiously asking.

"I…You know what? When you're older, you can ask your girlfriends."

So that's how Tyki had left me. Unanswered.

Throughout the majority of the week had been a routine. Routines were something I detested very much. It was boring. It was predictable. It was never-ending. And it was boring. But this routine proved to be something different, and I enjoyed it.

Everyday, I would wake up and assist Tyki on the apartment. He decided how the couch would be faced and where the television would go—obviously in front of the couch. We then planned on what else we should buy. I suggested calendars and clocks, since those were going to be helpful with our lives. Tyki suggested that we should buy a plant and name it Joyd. I could sense the utter need of sparkle in Tyki's life. Especially after he suggested me some 'hot' men.

So that's what we did. We bought calendars and clocks, and also a bamboo plant. But Tyki decided not to name it Joyd, but named it Bartholomew. Okay, it was _clear _that Tyki needed some sparkle to his life. And I just _had _to laugh at him for that.

Tyki just shrugged when I laughed at him.

So we had Bartholomew the bamboo plant as the addition to this abnormal family.

After I would help Tyki, I would go to the library. I would see the bookish Link, give him a greeting—which becomes different everyday, he would give me one of his you-are-a-strange-person-but-whatever looks—that I find hysterical, give me the sign-in clipboard, and I would go up the tall stairway and meet up the mysterious yet odd Tokusa always rubbing his chin as if he grown a beard. We would return books back to their original spots on the shelves, and would take a break whenever my arms start hurting.

Tokusa and I would talk about things that I have never thought I would talk about before. We talked about what we are going to do with our lives, what we like to do, what kinds of food we like, what toppings go great with frozen yogurt, and what color we would like to dye our beards. It was weird, but it was fun. We mainly talked about books and what sort of adventure Tokusa dreams for. I would happily listen to the tales he would go on and on and on about.

Everything went perfectly, until something unexpected happened.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend, Allen?" Tokusa asked me.

I blinked. "A-a what?"

"A boyfriend. Now that I think about it, I did tell you about my relationships before, but you haven't," Tokusa said, tapping his lips thoughtfully.

"I-I…" There was a lump at the back of my throat that I couldn't swallow. I felt as if I was choking. That I wasn't able to breathe. "I…"

"Not that you don't seem like the type to not have one, but I was just—hey, Allen, are you all right?" Tokusa's slant eyes widened. "You appear…paler than usual."

I threw a dismissive wave. "I-I'm fine," I grumbled. "Just dizzy, that is all."

"Are you feeling ill?"

I shook my head.

"Perhaps you need to settle down."

I nodded.

Tokusa led me to an open chair so that I could sit down.

"I'll bring you a water bottle."

I watched his retreating figure growing smaller, until I was not able to see him anymore. I clamped my hand over my mouth, and then buried my face into my damp palms, and sighed. The nauseating lurch in my stomach settled, yet there was some part of me that ached tremendously. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly.

Tokusa talked countless of times about his fantasy. His dreams. I listened to it all with wonder, and was captivated by its surreal detail, but why couldn't _you_ feel the same way? Why couldn't _you_ still care? Why did _you_ stop loving?

I believed in _you_, but _you_ had dropped our love like china on cold white floors.

Oh Debitto. Why couldn't _you_ still…

_"I should have never been with you. You're better off with someone else."_

Oh Debitto…

* * *

I am horrible at drama. Allen is in despair. I'm in despair.

Maybe I should throw in Jasdero while at it.

Everybody loves Jasdero.


	5. Purity

A/N:

I read Black Boy and was influenced on more typing. Hooray for inspirational flare.

* * *

I was in distress and sorrow at the time, but wasn't aware I had not gotten over it.

I had not realized that ever since I returned from work that day I was silently brooding. I eventually stopped speaking frequently among Tyki, Tokusa, and even Link. And whenever I come home I would lock myself up in my room; I felt that I needed to get acquainted with my own thoughts and figure what had been troubling me. I didn't think that my own troubles had directed from what occurred from that day. Tyki had then questioned me of my behavior; I was shocked of my own actions that I nearly spoken a lie. I assured him that I merely pondered of certain situations, and, gratefully, he did not pry further. On the third day, I stopped my brooding.

I came to a conclusion that my brooding originated from Tokusa and my previous conversation. I recall feeling a wave of nausea when he mentioned the word "boyfriend". Then _his _name repeated in my mind over and over again. Like a mantra. Soon, the repetitive chant had ceased when exhaustion overwhelmed me, thus leading me to slumber.

Apparently, Tokusa had not even noticed my change of attitude while Link was too occupied with work. However, I was thankful that Tyki had notified me before the two would begin to catch up. It would be bad enough if they realized it, and might even probe me of my problems. Though, I'm not sure if I could visualize Link shedding sympathy or Tokusa being worried for my sake.

Tokusa Crowl is peculiar, from what I observed during my stay in New York. He goes on with life, even though he has his quarrels of yearning something more. Like being a knight slaying demons or go off a heroic adventure with a mage and fairy. And when he desires the impossible, he remains rational; his perspective is like it's divided into two different individuals: reality and fantasy. I think that because he is concerning on these two subjects, he overlooks the humanity around him, thus not bothering to spare a glance at their way. But because he _is _human, he _would_ be worried or agitated rather than drifting on.

Howard Link is a robot, I am serious. Well, I suppose that I am somewhat exaggerating, but his brain is practically programmed to follow accordingly of what he is supposed to do. I hardly see him doing anything else than lecturing, reading, writing, lecture some more, and wear the same type of clothes. A formal wear that consist of ties, ties, ties, and ties. Other than that, I don't even see him go out to eat. I'm not even sure he even eats at all. And when it's closing time, he would stay behind to do "unfinished business". And when I came to work extra early, he's there as well! I voiced my suspicion to Tokusa, but he laughed at me. So it might be impossible for Link to express concern for it was not programmed into his data file. I'm not saying that I'm convinced he's a humanoid machine, but that he could _possibly_ be born that way. Oh his poor mother.

Nevertheless, Link did say something that could have ruined my theory. One day, he came up to me and asked if I lived somewhat a far distance. Instead of replying that I did not, I questioned him why. He lifted his reading glasses, gaining an ominous glint that reflected upon the glass, and said, "I am not sure whether you walk around freely in your old home, but New York is not a very safe place to wander about."

Afraid of receiving a scolding, I prepared myself for the worst. Oh, what did I expect? 'You could get yourself killed!' 'You could get yourself raped!' 'You could get yourself kidnapped!' 'You could get beaten black and blue by gangs!' Not that it would actually happen; after all, being the adopted child of Cross Marian, you tend to learn a couple tricks of defense and offense.

But instead of hearing an admonishment, what I heard was, "I suggest you get yourself a car."

Then he left.

I wasn't sure if I was flabbergasted, bewildered, or confused at the time. Or that those words were merely synonyms of one another. Perhaps I was feeling a mixture of all three. There I stood and thought about how _Link _of all people had not lectured me like a fretting mother, but only _suggested _me something that would benefit me.

And then I broke out of my hysterical thoughts and the word "car" popped in my head. A car? _A car? _Well, I am sixteen-years-old, after all. Most teenagers who are sixteen had already mastered the skill to drive vehicles; however, I am an exception. I'm not even sure if "driving" and "Allen" stirred well without having its lumpy lumps. I never even thought about driving for further future advances. Honestly, even Timcampy would have been baffled of me controlling such contraption! And he's a bloody bird!

Yes, indeed Link's suggestion was…quite stupid. Just to be blatant about things because it very is so. I mean, seriously? Even Kanda, _for once, _would have agreed that I driving a _car _would sound silly enough—because he loves insulting me, but whatever. Lenalee would encourage me just to be nice, of course. Daisya would explode into fits of giggles and comment how I would run over an elderly lady on my first try. I _know _he would say that. Oh, hey, there an idea: I could just picture Kanda being in the way and I could run _him _over. That would be pleasant.

Unfortunately, my religion refuses to murder; so I must obey the commandments.

But what Link said was true; New York is not exactly your sweet homey home. Gangs, drugs, fights, liquor, swindlers, prostitutes…argh, it's like having Cross living with me all over again. And then I came to a concept: writers obtain their creativity throughout their habitats and personal experiences. I recall reading Black Boy when I was in eighth grade; it was an autobiography based upon racial discrimination experiences and eventful misadventures of an African-American man. Well detailed and can be easily consumed by its readers, Black Boy has been a prized collection among many. However, I'm not planning on doing an autobiography, no matter how "interesting" my past might be.

Though these bits of what I see in my surroundings would likely help me embellish my story in order to make it sound actual. But I don't want to confront any trouble in this city, so…would it really help if I get myself a car? No, I don't even know how to drive! Then what? I haven't been opposed with misfortune _yet_, but due to Link's unintentional warning I have a feeling that I should do something about it.

So that's when I confronted Tyki.

He frowned. "Yes, Allen?"

"Uh…"

"Out with it already. You've been standing there for three minutes without saying anything. And you want to say something." Tyki's comment was a firm and confident one, and I was debating whether he was a mind reader or not.

I sighed. "Okay, but…it's weird."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is it something that I would loose my sanity if I hear it?"

"What? What—what makes you think that?"

"You know, when you used to live with a bunch of crazy kids with questioning mentality, possibilities is not an option."

"Oh. Understandable," I said, nodding.

"So?"

Now I was debating on whether I should tell him or not. It would be reasonable for him to not agree to the terms of my well-being. Because of prior debts and the low budget we were currently suffering, it would be absolutely impossible to afford a car. And even if we did have a car, it would be Tyki driving it. Not me.

However, here I am, already assembled on asking the meddlesome topic that lingered in my mind for the past hours, minutes, seconds. And Tyki is anticipating on answering. Indeed, my well-being is important, but would it really be that dire if I don't have a source of mobile protection? I have been living with Cross for the rest of my innocent childhood that had been corrupted by the man's actions—and I was the one who was forced to come along and clean up after him; and thanks to him, I'm acquainted with trouble and disaster. And debts.

I hesitated, but decided to let it out anyway. "I worded it wrong; it's actually complicated. Probably for you, that is."

"Oh brother," Tyki muttered. "You're not going to ask me for an allowance, are you?"

That drove me off the road and to a cliff. "Tyki! My goodness, you're not even close to the subject of a parent! Why would I ask you for an allowance when I don't even spend anything other than groceries?" I huffed.

"Lets see…I'm an extremely responsible adult, I am an adult, and I am so very, very intelligent because I have already passed my college exams when I was twenty."

"Mr. Earl said that you dropped out of college," I deadpanned.

"I object to that." Tyki presumed on with his typing. "Anyway, I believe that I have a right to question your insincerity of taking advantage to my utter kindness. After all, you don't even make breakfast and dinner. And here you are about to beg me for an allowance."

"I do say that I am capable of earning money myself in order to support this _family _of ours." I frowned. "I don't even have the _time_ to prepare meals! Now what I'm wondering is what are _you _doing?"

"Hell_o_—working here. That's why I'm wearing these glasses and have this laptop situated before me. Ever wonder how we get thirty dollars per week?"

My eyes widened. "T-thirty—_what_?" I sputtered. "Per week?"

"As unbelievable as it is, it's true. Unfortunately, all my hard work goes to the landlady or whoever she is. This place isn't as cheap as you think it is." Tyki sighed and ran his fingers through his curls. "I even have to give up my cigars so we won't end up sleeping on the streets. You owe me."

I smiled and bent down to his level. "Yeah, but who'll help pay the bills?" I teased.

"True. True. But then again I could get eloped after finding myself a suitable woman," he teased back.

"Ha, and what woman would be that desperate enough to fall for you?"

"A lucky woman."

"Hey, I can't have you betraying me now," I chuckled.

"Betray? Betray you?"

I snorted. "And this 'family' of ours."

He rubbed his chin. "Hmm, so you're the benevolent and doting wife while I'm the affectionate husband who is so very generous because he makes both breakfast and dinner. Sounds good to me, sort of."

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, and I forgot to mention junior too."

"Who's that?"

"My, Ally, have you forgotten about our own loving son? He's obviously Bartholomew, of course."

"So our 'son' is a bamboo plant?" I laughed.

"Just you wait, after a few years or so he'll have your hair and my eyes. He'll be gorgeous."

I laughed again, shaking my head. "I think we're unconsciously changing the subject."

"I think we have a habit of doing so. Wanna talk about this later? I vote on talking about it later." He grinned, exposing his perfect teeth. And, from what I noticed, his amber-golden eyes gleamed.

Sometimes I ponder what will happen when I live with Tyki; what favoring profit would I receive? Or would this be dismay upon God that I have left my original abode? That this act which I have performed will activate an unwanted sin? That I would be lured into the stage of impurity? I shan't commit adultery when not tied between the bonds of marriage; so would I be tempted to do so?

Ew. Me and Tyki? Ew.

Although, from what I had not expected, we are becoming more familiar with one another as we are housed underneath the same roof. It would be understandable that we would discover more about each other, but this social relation is evolving.

Should I be appeased of having a close friend? Friendship was a stranger to me when I was young; I continuously moved from location to location. When Cross had finally settled into a permanent accommodation, I obtained a new knowledge that I despised quite much: loneliness. Well, I was already aware of that emotion before Mana entered my life and after Mana died. I would say that it was an emotion that needed the grasp of loyal company. What I quenched for so long was the need of friends. And Daisya had filled that quench when I met him.

I'm afraid that I will become enticed into lust. After all, I am a teenaged girl who still has hormones to extinguish; though bless it be God that my hormones are not _that _bad, compared to most girls that is. Rhode, for example. And fangirls.

"Sure, but try not to avoid it this time," I said.

He nodded and rubbed my arm. "Yeah, whatever you say, wife."

One: The very belief that Tyki would be aroused by such temptation would be like believing that Daisya would someday turn into a strict vegetarian.

Two: If Tyki turns into a pedophile, the world is going to explode.

Okay, Tyki wouldn't exactly be a pedophile because he's twenty-two. He had lied about his age when I accused of him smoking; he said that he was twenty-six. I was the naïve, annoying brat who went on about how bad smoking was and so on. I instantly attacked him with a rant and pegged him as a villain who was contaminating our society, so he was left with a choice to lie and attempt to get rid of the annoyance that I was. I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to suffocate the fourteen-year-old me and the me now because I still rant on about it.

Now I'm confused because Tyki just touched me how he never touched me before. He rubbed my arm. When did he ever do that? Why did he do that? Why didn't he pat my head? Why didn't he pinch my cheeks until it hurts? Why didn't he flick my forehead, trip me, or hug me like I'm a child?

Am I becoming paranoid or am I overcoming my obliviousness?

As I retreated to my room, I sat on my bed and scratched the irritating itch on my arm. The same arm where Tyki had rubbed it. Perhaps my paranoia was getting the best out of me; that my inquiries were jumping to the subject too quickly. Perhaps my hormones _are _acting up and are pleading to suffice my sickening want. Perhaps Tyki is the innocent one while I'm tainting my head with the impure assumption.

That night I prayed to God that I would still remain as the same oblivious idiot that I always been, and whined to Him that being a teenager sucked.

In the morning, I went to the kitchen because I was hypnotized by the scent of pancakes. Since when did Tyki ever make pancakes? Usually, when he's in a hurry or either too lazy, he would pour cereal and milk into a randomly picked bowl and shove it towards me. Sometimes he would be benevolent enough to fry eggs and bacon, or this Korean dish that he's so fond of devouring. Bibimbap, I think.

"What's the occasion?" I said. My mouth began to salivate as the warm smell wafted into my nasal. I swear, Tyki has an unbelievable talent: cooking.

"Just feel like eating pancakes," he replied.

"And what do you feel like making for dinner?" I asked.

"A Filipino dish that I discovered recently: pancit."

"Okay, first Korean and now Filipino. Are you starting to have a fetish for all Asian cuisines?"

"Well you can't argue against mitarashi dango, can you?"

I laughed. "That's true. Well, can't wait to have dinner. But first…" I forked a pancake and drowned it in syrup and butter.

When I finished five plates of tall stacks of pancakes, I dressed out of my pajamas and into out wear for my job. As I stepped out of my room, I saw Tim snuggling on Tyki's lap. It was funny; Tim wasn't very social with people, even with me when I first met him. But ever since Tyki and I moved in together, Tim didn't astray far from him. In fact, I would often catch Tim chirping loudly in his ear and sometimes leading Tyki's theory of Tim being part vulture and whatnot convincing—for Tyki, that is.

"Okay, it's official; he's part cat as well," Tyki said.

"Whatever you say."

After saying my goodbye to both Tyki and Tim, I ventured out to the library. Had I seemed convincing that my obliviousness was still within me? I wondered. I didn't think about it this morning, but when I saw Tim with Tyki I suddenly remembered the uneasiness I felt the night before. Should I speak to someone about my paranoia? My delusions? My innocence? My well-being?

Oh, gracious, has Rhode's girly behavior influenced me? Am I going to squeal and become giddy whenever a boy talks to me? Am I going to gossip? Am I going to wear makeup? Am I going to become giggly? BLAH. Oh my word. I don't even want to think about it. I don't even want to have this ill transformation! I don't want to be a fangirl!

It had come. And to think puberty was bad enough, but this is horrible! Is this it? The end of the world?

Before I would answer my own question, a blue car drove by, which reminded me of Tokusa's car. Which reminded me why he had his car painted blue. Which reminded me of his friend Madarao and Bak. Which reminded me of puke. Which reminded me of the time when I had food poisoning in first grade and had vomited on one of my classmate. Which reminded me of the bitter treatment the rest of the class acted towards me. Which reminded me of the lack of friends I had. Which reminded me of Daisya. Which reminded me of the time when he threw boloney at my face because I refused to give back his soccer ball. Which reminded me of Tyki—wait, no!

I shook my head. But his name stood in place.

No. No. No. No. NO! This cannot be happening! He's a brother! A brother! But why do I not see him as one! Oh yeah, we're not related.

How corrupted have I become?

I don't want to think about it.

"Yo, Allen!" I looked up to see the blue car making a turn and drive slowly next to me. Tokusa. "Want a ride?"

"Yup," I unconsciously accepted—and the sudden response had not yet caused the older male to raise his brow, but, after all, Tokusa isn't what I would peg him as normal. I opened the passenger's seat and slid inside. My lips then began to move again, making a conversation already. "I guess this makes you late for work, huh?"

"Hmm?"

I cleared my throat, feeling self-conscious of my jittery reactions; however, it wasn't as awkward since Tokusa didn't appear to notice. "Well, usually you're at the library way earlier than I would wake up. Overslept?" I went on, feeling less tense.

Tokusa smiled that strange smile of his. "Don't mention to Inspector about this. Promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die, but not really."

He chuckled, bringing forth his unique accent to coat it. "I wouldn't be happy if you died too. Anywho, Inspector told me to pick up you; any guesses why?" he said.

"Uh, I give up."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Oh come on, you must have at least one."

I decided to humor him, and myself to distract me of my current distress. "Let's see…" I said, tapping my chin, "he's using you as a distraction so that I wouldn't come and ruin the surprise."

"What surprise?"

"About how awesome I am, so he had to make a party for me."

He laughed. His canine teeth sparkled visibly as he smirks while his eyes glinted mysteriously. "Allen Walker, you truly are awesome indeed, but unfortunately no."

"Darn," I grumbled loudly. "So what is it?"

"Well I'm quite sure that you had a conversation with him concerning of how dangerous New York can be." He smiled again. "And he was worried that you might run into trouble if you walked all the way to work."

"Oh," I said, "that."

"Still convinced that he's a robot?"

"Don't be silly, Crowl, I never suspected him to be one," I scoffed. "I merely assumed that his nature was to be one. Although, I rather am surprised that Link was worried for my sake; I would have thought he was far too occupied with his job to even think about others"

"Oh Allen, don't think of him like that! Sure he has his moments, but he's still human no matter how seemingly untrue it is."

"I suppose you're right."

"Of course. Now then, what are you going to do?"

"Huh?"

"Are you going to get yourself a car?"

"Um, about that…Uh. You see, my budget is low and the money that I make directly goes to debt. Of course, impossible for me to afford one; the plan of getting one will be now useless, I'm afraid," I explained. "However, though I do not appear it, I am quite skilled in the arts of defense and offense."

"But what if you encounter a gun?"

A counter-attack that I have miscalculated. Bloody, how could I missed guns? "Um…It would have been better if you said 'knife' instead," I said, having high hopes that I would somehow change the subject—unfortunately; the chances are not that good.

"Allen," Tokusa said, "there are certain things that you cannot simply avoid, especially for a young girl as yourself." Cursed.

"But my budget—" I tried again, but was cut off.

"Yes, your budget. Would it seem pitiful to you if I offer you charity?" Tokusa asked.

"Yes," I deadpanned. The thought of somebody offering me free money was like as if the heavens above were radiating a golden light upon me, casting away my long-time compulsive of _debt. _Hence, it would be much joy for me to accept…if I were unused to the adaption of supreme labor. I suppose that this is yet another trait I must give my appreciation to Cross for: my stubbornness. Receiving something for free is great—just bloody wonderful really, but when you're on optimist on gambling and associate with crude drunkards, the relation of free is never really 'free'. It's practically stealing, if you ask me.

There are particular laws in the Bible: one should not steal. And, well, just taking Tokusa's offer would lead me to a fun trip called guilt. For one, I would feel _extremely _guilty that I have committed myself to take advantage of the benefaction, which was gifted from Tokusa. Like I have mentioned before, receiving charity is no different from stealing. Anything free is not really free. Two, even if I did accept his money, he would basically expect me to purchase a car. Which I have no use for. Except against guns.

"I figured." The older male idly drummed his long fingers against the wheel, and then coiled it when the traffic began moving again. "Yet this is serious. You were lucky enough to walk without harm's way, even though the distance from your house and to the library is not too far."

"But it's still dangerous," I muttered.

"Yes it is."

"But my budget…"

"Well then, I suggest you talk to Link about it."

I felt my lips pull into a pout, and I didn't want to be pouting. But I was pouting. And I was glaring as well. "I don't suppose that you support Link's belief, right?"

"I'm a supporter."

"Bloody crud."

Whether I was reacting like a spoiled child, I didn't care. I honestly believe that this complication centering me was just a nuisance. Completely and utterly unnecessary. Of course, I could have accept the lines and let the adults busy themselves with the papers and bills; however, that would leave me as a burden. And Allen Walker refuses to be a burden.

Of course, my 'foster' father would think otherwise.

But if someone asked me the question concerning him, I would agree that Cross Marian is a burden in many ways, and yet can make himself rather useful. Such as when he goes off to every hotel and drinks all the wine he can consume, thus leaving me to do his dirty work. On the other hand, he would also manage to seduce all the women and make them crumble before him; usually these women would either be someone famous and can order _a lot _of food. Indeed, I would be in bondage, but at least my stomach would be satisfied.

Though, does having a movable sanctuary that _perhaps _could protect me from guns contain any relation of food? No, it does not. I'm not even sure if driving a car would secure me of weaponry—it would make things worse, I think.

Visualizing: I'm sitting in the driver's seat when all of a sudden a random bullet flies towards the window shield. Would the bullet merely bounce off? Not that I hold the knowledge of guns and their competence of killing, though I am confident enough to say that the glass would shatter and the shards would pierce into my flesh. Thus blood loss.

_How in the world is that protection?_

Fantastic. I realized two troublesome subjects that I must endure: Tyki and my safety-obsessed co-workers. Scratch that: Tyki wouldn't be my main source of hysteria; my emotional derangement—or my pathetic hormones—is casting these delusions that make me uncertain. It feels as though I have been going through this phase for several years when I only recognized it yesterday. If I was aware that this was going to happen to me, I wouldn't have decided agreeing on this move to New York with him then. But I was blind about it; I was so sure that the only conspirator that would accompany me would be my memories of _his _departure.

Would this signify an attraction I have towards Tyki?

Ew.

No, I believe this is just paranoia. If I did like him that way, wouldn't I realize it by then? Besides, if I continued denying this false attraction, then it obviously would be identified as a misunderstanding. I would never feel that way about Tyki, and I'm quite sure that such feeling would not be approved of—by me.

It couldn't be possible if I suddenly liked the man. I surely would have developed a crush on him before if I did. Therefore, such emotion is nonexistent. And despite my attention mostly centering upon Lavi back then—because he would never leave me alone, Tyki was more of a side-character in my perspective. What a crude and selfish thought, most would point out; nevertheless, I cannot say it is not true. Tyki was a friend of mine who concealed himself in the background; who never deemed to be the much more of an importance as my life progressed; who held a simple and easy role like that of a classmate, a cashier, a hobo, a millionaire. He didn't focus upon my life like how Lavi did—excluding the part where Lavi's continuation of annoyance had…irritated me.

Tyki didn't make me happy all the time. He didn't make me sad all the time. He didn't irate me all the time—oh, I see how Kanda fits in the picture. He didn't irritate me all the time—Lavi inserted here. And he didn't make me laugh all the time. But when I was left alone when everybody had moved away, I was reduced to depression and loneliness. I seek for what other source of comfort I could obtain, thus Tyki became a major part for me. But that was what I acquired him for: comfort. What else did I want from him? Nothing.

I didn't need him to love me; his friendship was what I cradled. I didn't need his romantic affection; I would be seriously disturbed if he did emit. I didn't need his words of emotion; not only would I be disturbed, but I would probably vomit like I did in first grade. And I certainly didn't need him to act as my husband; although I could tolerate a game of pretend—even if Bartholomew was involved.

Perhaps my relationship with Tyki had evolved into something more, but definitely not romance. (I have read enough of romance novels, and I am not _that _oblivious of how chemistry would spark.) I have to say that Tyki is as close as a brother would be to his sister. Even if he makes jokes about Bartholomew being our 'son'.

Yet I could tolerate the Tyki's presence, his absence is what post a significance of this now-to-be daily trauma. I have more to ponder about this questioning relationship I bear, and I have already made up my mind that we are nothing more than non-biological siblings. I fear what I will soon to implore, soon to crave, and soon to perform. As I am a Christian who has dedicated her soul to Christ, I am nothing but a human who can easily attain sinful addiction.

How easy it was when I was not so _delusional. _Argh.

"Hooray," I muttered as soon as the library came into view. "We're here."

"Somebody sounds cranky," sang Tokusa.

"Please Tokusa. I was suffering under dilemma while deeply thinking. Now I think I deserve some mannerism from you, thank you."

To my dismay, Tokusa laughed all the way until—somehow—we were standing in front of Link. I'm quite sure it was because my mind was being distracted by the uncanny annoyance that leads me to exasperation.

Cursed Cheshire Cat.

Link raised an oh-so dainty brow. "Walker, you seem to be…"

"Irritated, exhausted, frantic, hysterical, sleepy, sluggish?" Tokusa suggested.

"Yes, well…"

"I was suffering under dilemma while deeply thinking," I answered Link's previous question. "May I have the sign-in-sheet?"

"Of course." After Link handed me the clipboard, I idly scribbled my name, not regarding that my A looked distinctly of a H and how my l's were mirroring a turkey leg. I'm not sure. The l's look like turkey legs to me. Maybe all the prior musing had left me hungry.

"Have you spoken to her of…?"

"Yep, and apparently she's to poor to afford one. And too stubborn to accept charity," Tokusa chirped.

Link narrowed his eyes at me. "Walker."

"Well, I refuse to use money that I have not earned," I protested.

"You earned my trust, here's a dollar."

"No, Tokusa, not like that!" I slapped my forehead. "Don't get your wallet out!"

Tokusa blinked, almost in a confused and innocent way. "But didn't you said that—"

"No I mean—you know, labor and etcetera."

"Isn't child labor outlawed in America?"

"I-I'm sixteen."

"So?"

I ended up making rather dramatic gestures with my hands.

"You have to stop agitating everyone," Link sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Tokusa smirked impishly, shrugging.

"As for you, Walker, this cannot be tolerated. As manager, I will not have any employees endangering themselves because of ignorance. Whether you like it or not, you are getting a car."

"No," I groaned.

"Yes. Now, any questions?"

"Uh, will this be deducted form my pay?"

"Yes," was his monotonous reply.

Completely unfair. And I could sense the illogicalness of this conversation. Wouldn't it be more sensible if it was the teenager whining to the adult for a car instead of vice versa? Well, Link wouldn't be whining, but it was close to it since his voice of authority was tiring to hear. And what's more, _my _pay was being deducted and I disapproved of purchasing a bloody car!

I was anticipating, or merely hoping, that Link would be lying and would actually be the one affording. But then again, I would be riding a fun ride to a fun trip called Guilt Town. Or something of the sort. And if he wasn't going to do so and was going to use my pay, then that would be completely unfair. Why should I be the one loss of cash when it wasn't my choice?

Now question is how am I supposed to clear off the debts and bills? How am I going to buy groceries? How am I going to stay refine? How am I going to survive? And if they expect me to drive the infuriating object, how am I supposed to buy gas?

Although, perhaps they weren't going to let me drown in worries of money. After all, Link has—not physically—expressed his concern—strongly—and desired my well-being. So I do believe. And he was determined on getting me a personal transportation even when I was on low budget. Tokusa was a good friend, despite his sly demeanor and unforeseen actions, and I am positive he wouldn't let me down. Probably.

Tokusa rubbed his chin as usual. "Hold up, Inspector. What if Allen doesn't know how to drive?"

"I don't know how to drive," I quickly added.

"And now it would be pointless of getting her one if she doesn't know how to drive. Awesome."

Link sighed. "We both know that neither one of us have the time to teach. I suppose that Kanda does, however."

Tokusa dryly grinned. "Great, sword-wielding security guard on duty. Again."

* * *

Author's Note:

Now please do not assume that everybody is falling in love with Allen, because they are not. Allen is merely going through a phase that all teenaged girls experience—even I had that trauma. Sadly. Anyway, if this was to be a multiple pairing conflict thing-a-ma-jig, then the pairings would be mainly KandaXAllenXTyki. And one-sided DebittoXAllen. DUR.


	6. Terror Awaits

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN DGM! DUR!

"What?" I cried.

Tokusa and Link looked at me, surprised. "What's wrong?" Link asked, raising an eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to say more, but no words were forming sentences. Instead, I uttered the name "Kanda". Tokusa blinked in a confusing manner. He inclined his head and back, as in a slow nod. "Yes, Kanda," he said. The university student turned his attention to Link, who was equally confused. "Did I say something shocking?"

"I don't think so. Maybe Walker knows who Kanda is," the bespectacled man assumed.

"W-wait, you said Kanda, right?" I said, clarifying to make sure.

Tokusa raised an eyebrow. "That's just what I said. Kanda. Should I say his name a couple more times?"

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind from lingering thoughts. "Okay. Tell me, is Kanda here right now? As in, in this very building? _Right now_?" I asked, sounding a little too desperate for my liking. However, considering that _Kanda, _the arse who I used to share classes with—even wasted my time _arguing _with him—I do believe that I have a right to be slightly hysterical.

He clapped his hands together. "You were right, Inspector! She does know him!" Tokusa chirped. "And why yes he is."

I pinched my arm so that I would not hyperventilate "Wh-Wha-What?" I stumbled on my words. "Then how was it that I never seen him in this library before?"

"That's because he was patrolling the other side of the library. We already have a security guard on this side, but he's taking a small vacation ever since a certain pal of mine vomited all over his lap."

"What? Madarao's working here too?" Is this all a big coincidence?

"Yup. He should be returning to his profession two days later."

Link cleared his throat. "Hate to interrupt this lovely conversation, but I have been meaning to ask about what is your relationship with Yuu Kanda."

Oh great. It had to be _Yuu _Kanda.

Little by little, my hopes for a brighter future here in New York were diminishing. How could I possibly forget about my past predicaments when bits of my previous life are coming back? And really, why Kanda of all people! As if my paranoia about Tyki and I being housed underneath the same roof was overwhelming enough, my socially retarded buddy is making his living here in my new home. Fantastic. Just what I really need.

I breathed out, calming my nerves. "Kanda and I used to go to the same school together," I said.

"Really? What a coinky dink this is! Two old pals about to reunite after all this time," Tokusa laughed.

"Well, this is certainly astonishing," Link commented. "I never would have guessed that Kanda would actually make acquaintances with anyone. Has he always been so antisocial when he was attending at your old school?"

"Always," I deadpanned. "And I am quite glad that you said 'acquaint' instead of 'befriend'. I find that term to be unsettling to determine the…the _relationship _that we share." Frankly, my experiences with the Japanese was, honestly, dreadful. I could not believe that I have not bodily harmed him out of irritation and was kind enough to return some creative insults; however, he did happen to save me from some hooligans who attempted on ascertaining my gender. But after that incident, in which I discovered him to work at some anime store concerning him wearing a ridiculous outfit, he remained his hostile self—my suspicion is that he was keeping an eye at me in case I would commit to tell anyone of the secret, which I really wanted to but couldn't. There was a boy skilled in giving pain on my back, thus I was sure not to leak any of my wondrous experience. No matter how tempting it was.

Even with Tokusa and Link repeating his name a couple times, I wasn't sure if I was registering the information correctly. Yuu Kanda in New York. Yuu Kanda in New York. It didn't even sound right. "Yuu Kanda in Japan" or "Yuu Kanda in Hell" sounded coherent, but not New York. And I could have been hysteric for nothing; this could probably be another Kanda. _Probably. _Or that I misheard them say, um, Kevin instead of Kanda. Kanda wouldn't really be here in New York, I'm sure. He moved somewhere else with his family to Japan or whatever. Definitely not New York. Nope. Not at all.

"Then how did you two meet with one another?" Tokusa asked.

Lavi. That's the only explanation. Lavi. Everything was relative to Lavi, the redheaded boy—now a young man—with a popularity-streak and used to have romantic feelings for me, the eye-patched wearing fellow who often had a green headband on his head. These two don't know who Lavi is, nevertheless. And because of the past few years without any responses from him through mail—for some reason he ceased writing back to me—it would be best to say that I don't know much about him either ever since Lavi and I made our separate ways. I forgot things about him, but the only information that I recall from him were random pieces: Lavi's grandfather died from an illness so Lavi had to move somewhere; I once gambled and won Lavi's precious watch, in which was sold; Lavi is now in his first year of college; Lavi still doesn't know that I was Alfred, my disguised self in which I have taken his watch; Lavi is aware about my deformed arm; and Lavi was my first love and kiss.

I pressed my lips into a thin line. "I don't feel like answering that question," I said, frowning. If I told them about Lavi, then surely I might unintentionally spill out parts of my pastime with Lavi, and I am quite positive that Tokusa would tease me about the redhead being my first love and kiss much to my chagrin.

Tokusa folded his arms. "I bet it's embarrassing," he anticipated.

"Oh sure. Why not," I snorted.

"Should I guess what occurred between you two?"

"I rather have you not."

"Lets see…You and Kanda stumbled upon each other, looked up, and gazed deeply into each others' eyes. Mesmerized by his black orbs, you instantly fell in love with him and desperately tried to direct his attention onto you." He rubbed his chin in thought. "Unfortunately, he was already in love with another—a man! Shocked that he was really a homosexual all this time, you cowered into a corner till you couldn't take insanity anymore, therefore leaving you two options: run away to Mexico or New York. Since you don't know any Spanish, you chose New York. The end."

Hence my reluctance…"Have I ever told you that your stories are ridiculously unique?"

"Not yet."

"Well, the one about blue cars and Madarao was unique. The one you just told me was ridiculous."

"I can see why you read a lot," Link sighed.

"I think with Crowl around, I'll eventually loose my idea for my story. I might accidentally make it sound as if it's a manual for a comedy standup program," I pointed out.

"You should totally do that," Tokusa said.

"Oh no. I'm not trying to make a joke book; I'm trying to make a novel."

"Well then, you should make a novel full of comedy."

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I was planning on doing, originally."

He shrugged, dismissing the topic. "Anywho, I do believe that we are straying away from what we were previously talking about. Unfortunately, it was disturbed by Allen going crazy."

"Good because I'll be refusing to take driving lessons from Kanda anyway. He would rather run me over than teach me how to function a car." Tokusa merely smiled, appearing idle and indifferent. Link, on the other hand, remained unresponsive, and I wondered if he had nothing to say or that he was considering the consequences of placing me under Kanda's charge. Ugh. That made me shudder. Me in Kanda's charge. I think the only use of Kanda having custody over me would be as a jail-keeper. Not that I would ever be in jail.

"Well," Link began to say.

"Well?" I encouraged.

"I suppose that Madarao could teach you."

I turned to Tokusa, raising an eyebrow. "He works here?"

"Nope, but sometimes he'd come here and do random jobs. Depending on how his mood is, really."

"Well, since she already met your friend, I think it wouldn't be so bad if she was taught by Madarao," Link said.

"If she wouldn't feel so intimidated," Tokusa added, rubbing his chin.

"I felt intimidated by just hearing that Kanda is here as well," I said, crossing my arms. "Besides, Madarao couldn't possibly any ruder or snappier than him. I know; I was in the same blue car with him before."

"She heard the story _and _have met him," Link grumbled, frowning. "I do wonder what your next motive is, Tokusa."

"Commit suicide and leave this living hell," Tokusa replied amiably, strange grin in place as always.

"I do hope that was a statement full of irony," I said.

"It is. Don't worry."

I shrugged. Well, at least Kanda wouldn't be something to worry about anymore. Yet despite feeling unsure about Tokusa's stoic and antisocial friend, it was definite that I was feeling happy. Even though I wasn't sure if it really was the Kanda who I knew, I wasn't willing to take risks. If any sane person knew Kanda, I'm sure that he wouldn't take risks either.

"Oh, there's Madarao. What a coinky dink." Of course, Tokusa would say that. I turned around, seeing the young man walking towards us. Indeed what a coincidence.

"Yo, Madarao, we were just talking about you," Tokusa chirped.

He looked cynical. "Hn."

"Yup. So, what are you here for? Another job?"

"I'm going to borrow books."

Tokusa rubbed his chin. "Wanna give Allen driving lessons?"

"No." He walked away.

Tokusa turned his attention onto me. "Looks like Kanda's your new teacher."

_No._

* * *

I felt stupid for not asking them this question. Why couldn't one of them teach me instead of _him_? Then again, they would tell me that they didn't have the time to do so, leaving me with _him. _If God said that it was okay to flatten Kanda with a giant ironer, then I would do it. However, likely He would say no, and how am I going to get a giant ironer?

Thus, leaving me back to the same question as before. What is Kanda doing in New York?

Seriously.

I paced in the kitchen. Tim chirped loudly—maybe it was a squawk—and flew onto the counter. "What am I going to do, Tim?" I whimpered. "To think that coming here would help me leave behind my past, but never did I imagine Kanda being here as well!" I buried my face into my hands. "And to think that _he _would be the one teaching me how to drive! Out of all people, it had to be him."

Then a sigh left my mouth. "What am I going to do?" I mumbled.

"Well, you can stop moping and tell me what's bothering you."

I looked up, seeing Tyki coming. "You're here rather early," he said.

"Ah, yes. My boss allowed me to come home earlier."

"Would that be the reason why you're behaving out of character?"

I frowned. "No. Why would I be upset about that?"

He shrugged. "It was a guess. Care to tell me what brought you down?"

"Actually, I don't care to tell you. Perhaps another day, Tyki." I wasn't sure why, but I felt as though I needed to keep this driving lesson plan a secret from him. And though I could tell him and ask if he could teach me, my reluctance prevented me from doing so. After all, I was getting paranoid about our relationship. I didn't want to get tempted, even if it wasn't possible. Tyki probably doesn't view anymore than a friend, but I wasn't going to take a risk on this one either.

He crossed his arms and pouted. "Oh, come on. Ain't gonna tell your hubby 'bout your day, darling?" he cooed ridiculously, making me smile.

"Nope," I laughed. "Don't worry; I said that I would tell you some other day. Just not today."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Nope."

"The next day?"

"Tyki Mikk, really, I'll tell you, but only when I feel like it. No need to pressure me," I sighed.

"But did I manage to make you feel better?" he asked casually.

"Well, yes," I admitted.

"Good. I don't think I'll be ever to sleep if you're sad for the rest of the day," he said, smiling. I smiled back and had two thoughts in my head: I knew that I was happy because Tyki was there being funny; and my paranoia was returning, telling me that he was _flirting_ with me.

In the previous romance novels I had read, guys would make comments like these to the girls they would eventually end up with. Of course I wasn't relying on a book full of cheesy love about what would happen in the future—mostly between Tyki and me—but I couldn't help but make an observation of it. Hopefully, it was just something that desperate authoresses wrote out of imagination, not really something that they had experienced before.

"Now, would you care to have some cake that I brought?" he said.

"Yes, I do care. But out of curiosity, why did you buy cake?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"To be honest, I didn't buy it; the lady from this cake shop gave it to me for free."

"What?"

"I thought that since you were working hard, I would bring you a treat for being a good girl. Hey, no need to frown; I wasn't thinking of you as a dog."

My frown deepened. "I was thinking of you thinking me as a little kid," I grumbled.

"Whoops."

"Go on," I sighed.

"Anyway, out of luck, I stumbled by a cake shop. A lady then looks at me with surprise and exclaimed how she could help me."

"How'd you know that she was surprised?"

"Her eyes were really wide and she gasped really loudly."

"Oh." I wonder if there was a blush on her face too.

"Then I asked for a cake and presented me one and told me it was for free. Then I left." Tyki feigned mirth by smiling and clasping his hands. "The end!"

I rubbed my chin (Tokusa probably made an impression on me). "I wonder why she gave it to you for free," I muttered.

"Why are you saying it in sarcasm?" Tyki questioned, though for some reason I'm getting the feeling that he might not be really curious. But I answered anyway.

I shrugged. "No reason."

"Well then, I didn't spend a single cent and got cake. Let's eat."

"But you don't like sweets."

"Then you and Tim can eat while I go back to work."

I nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."

There were times where I would see Tyki as a suspicious character, just plotting a devious scheme. Today might have been one of those days, and as I took a bite from a slice of cake (which was really good) I observed Tyki from the corners of my eyes in case he was conspiring anything.

Of course I don't see Tyki as a bad guy, but he's just so…secretive in his own way. Like how he never told me what was his job or the real reason to why he moved out of his mansion. Other times I feel as if I had known Tyki all my life, and there are other times where I would find myself having a conversation with a stranger. It's as if I have adjusted myself to Tyki's exuberant personality years ago even though that side of him started not too long ago. I never have seen him like that ever since the couple days before we moved to New York.

I took another bite after stuffing frosting into Tim's beak. "You know," I heard Tyki say, "ever since you brought Tim, I never had realized that certain birds could eat anything."

"Tim's a special case, I think," I thought aloud.

Then I felt my head feeling lighter than before. I looked up, seeing Tyki waving my cap the air absent-mindedly. "I suppose that would make you a special case too, huh?" he snorted.

I rolled my eyes. "Start on a glutton joke and you really will regret it."

He smirked.

Now I'm wondering why he started being cheerful whenever I'm down. I know that it could be his way of cheering me up, but why he wasn't like this when I was friends with Rhode? Back then, why did he always treat me as if I'm just a friend of his baby sister but now I'm someone with adult maturity? Why does he tease me more than usual? Why does he laugh more? Why does he smile more?

I don't think it's because I changed in anyway. I'm still what I was those few years ago, and if not, perhaps I did mature a bit. After all, back then I was fourteen, now I'm sixteen. Could it be because the change in my appearance? My white hair is now darkening to platinum. My scar is waning.

"I always did find it funny how that stomach of yours can consume more than the average dinosaur," he chuckled.

"It's just my metabolism," I said, smiling a bit.

"Which happens to be inhumane."

Whether it was me or him, Tyki changed nevertheless.

I resisted rubbing my temple from contemplating too much on what the reason may be. I did not want to be paranoid again due to false beliefs. Tyki…There was no way that Tyki would like me. There was no way that I would like Tyki. We are close friends, and that is the only relationship existent between us. The only reason why Tyki is behaving differently is because he knows that I have no one else to turn to. He knows that I could always rely on him seeing how he is the only one I could go to. He is the only one.

Right?

* * *

"Bean sprout," he acknowledged me, glaring at me as well.

"Hello, Kanda, it's somewhat pleasant to see your face again," I replied, making sure that sarcasm was in check.

"I expect to be finished with you within a week. Let's get this over with."

"Joy." I glanced at him. "You know, I would never expect you to willingly agree to teach someone."

"What choice do I have when I have to pay for my university tuition?" he grumbled aloud.

I blinked. "Is that what you're doing in New York?"

He gave me a look. "What do you think?"

**

* * *

**

**NOTIFICATION**: Yes, this chapter was short, and whether it ended lamely or not I'm sure that the next chapter would be more uplifting. Anyway, I have some clarifications to make about Tokusa, Madarao, Tyki, Lavi, and Kanda.

One, Tokusa is a supporting character, meaning he would not have a crush on Allen or obtain an important role.

Two, Madarao is, too, a supporting character—for now. I'm trying to make him as invisible as possible, and then when the problem arrives, BAM! Madarao is a major role for the story. But I'm trying.

Three, Tyki is Tyki. He would always be Tyki and never stop being Tyki. Meaning: if you want to know if he likes Allen or not, that is your choice whether to find out or not.

Four, Lavi will make an appearance in the story, but unfortunately there would be no romance between Allen and him. They moved on, so why won't you?

Five, Kanda will end up with Allen. Yeah…

Moving on. After rereading this chapter, it made me unsatisfied about it. I know that I can go back and make changes, but at the same time I don't want to. I find this as a supporting chapter helping to build up the other chapters. So, in apology, I made this omake just for you guys. In which I regret doing but here goes.

**Omake**

Tokusa stared at the two. They were layered in slime, feathers, some red stuff, some black stuff, and scowls. Well, Kanda was. Allen was sulking.

"I see the driving lesson was successful," the chin-rubbing fellow chirped.

Kanda's eyebrow twitched. "Ch."

Allen sighed sadly.

"So…what are you covered in anyway?"

"Deceased chickens and tar," Kanda answered stiffly.

Tokusa grinned cheerfully. "How deceased?"

"Recently deceased."

"I slaughtered hens that could have been mothers of unborn chicks!" the girl wailed, burrowing her face into her sticky hands.

"More like road-killed, but with more excitement," Tokusa said, thinking that would have brightened the girl up.

It didn't. She gave him a look of appall.

Link came, blinking at the odd sight. "What happened to you two?" he questioned.

"Oh, you know the usual," Allen said in a strange, high pitched tone, "run over a farm, hit a gasoline, and be utterly gleeful about hearing cock-a-doodles of _terror_."

A random guy pointed at Allen and screamed, "Environmentalist!"


	7. Progress

Edition To My Heart

Disclaimer: I do not want to get sued.

* * *

If I were to say that Kanda was an awful teacher, would I be half lying or half truthful?

It was really unexpected to find that Kanda would be clear on telling me how to function a car. I nearly praised him for being a good teacher, but that would be giving him too much credit. And he wouldn't even bother taking the praise anyway.

And it was expected to find him to continuously _badger_ me with insults whenever I make a mistake, such as hitting reverse when he didn't want me to, or accidentally knock a cone by driving off course. Whenever that happens, he takes the opportunity to make the deal into a bigger one—which is _highly unnecessary_. It's as if every error I make, a baby dies (well, I'm not sure if Kanda cares about the decreasing number in our society). Ok, here's a better one: every error I make, it's as if his beloved sword is receiving dents—and that's weird because I seem to remember about what Lavi told me on that day when he was taking me to his beach…which was few years back.

I think the sword's name was Mugen, or something.

Anyway, Kanda's not a bad teacher, but he's not a good one either. I think his terribleness and awesomeness of being a driving professor balances things out, so I suppose that would make him an average rate teacher. But there is something that can make him a better person/teacher—if he moves out of New York.

"Stupid beansprout! Watch where you're—gah!"

"Shut up! I know what I'm doing!"

"You just ran over a fucking cat. Oh yeah, you definitely know what you're doing."

"You're sarcasm is not appreciated here, Kanda."

Or that whatever university he's going to—and I'm surprised that it's not community college—should be relocated to another area. Like Canada or Korea. Or Hell, where he belongs.

Or an arsenal.

Well, I know that my bloody attempt at being an opportunist—wishing that Kanda would vanish and pop into a land where people like him would turn into good little children—would be a vague attempt. Then I tried another tactic: get along with the man. In which was probably the most idiotic plan I ever thought of. I'm pretty sure that no being alive, other than Lavi and some other ridiculously patient folk, could withstand the evil emancipation of Yuu Kanda, the evil doer of all things evil.

And I'm _not_ joking.

I tried and tried to forget the harsh nicknames he had given me years back, but in an instant that all came back ever since I heard that one word from him. That one mere word that rang my eardrums. That one mere word that brought shivers and goosebumps all over my skin. That one word…

_Beansprout. _

Beansprout. Beansprout. Beansprout. Beansprout. Beansprout.

How on earth do I appear like a plant?

"Beansprout, pay fucking attention!"

"Stop calling me that!" I shouted, and my grip on the wheel constricting. "My name is Allen! Should I spell it out for you? A-L-L-E-N. Allen. Allen. _Allen_!"

Unfortunately, during my teaching of spelling, which distracted me thanks to the lovely Japanese who was sitting next to me, I didn't notice the lamppost and rammed right into it. The force was apparently too great, thus causing the stick-like metal thing to wobble and collapse right onto the hood of the car. I winced, and from the corner of my eye I saw Kanda seethe.

I was in hot water now.

But luckily, he stopped fuming and calmed down, only sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. That pose looked familiar…oh, I used to do that. Wait, did he steal that one from me? I think he did steal it from me.

"I need coffee," he sighed.

"Yuck," I sniffed absent-mindedly.

He shot me a glare, and I looked away.

Is it just me or did Kanda become even scarier than before?

Not only did his scary-ness increase its intensity, but his eyes had gotten more acute, his voice deeper, and his height taller. I saw this throughout the, uh…well, just before I crashed the car. And it looks like he has been working out. The Kanda that I recalled a few years back was leaner, but the Kanda right now is a bit bulkier. Maybe that was required for those who are working as security…?

And it looks like he's growing out his hair; it's tied into a ponytail, but I can imagine that if it were to be let loose then those strands would be a bit pass his shoulders.

"Stop it."

I blinked at the sudden demand. "Pardon?"

"Stop looking at me." He then faced me, a frown etched on his face. "You're creeping me out."

I rolled my eyes. "Please excuse my stupor. I didn't really intend on looking at you," I said, imitating a sweet voice.

"Of course you didn't."

"…what's that supposed to mean?"

"Use that brain of yours, beansprout. Or is it that that crash caused you some brain damage?" he sneered.

I raised an eyebrow, but then smiled. "Why Kanda, all this time I thought you believed that I had brain damage _before_hand! I'm flattered!"

"Certainly not," he said with a lot of sarcasm, "because back then you were a freaking egghead who skipped _two whole grades._"

"Well at least I _have_ a brain to use," I snapped.

I received no response because Kanda completely ignored me. He opened the door and stepped out, and then slammed it. I, ruefully, flinched by impulse. My next impulse was to pummel the _demon_, but managed to restrain it. Honestly.,..why do my actions seem to be more and more out of control whenever Kanda is anywhere near? Ah, that's right. It's because he's a—

"Beansprout, get your ass out of there. I gotta report to Link of what a well job you displayed," he called out idly.

—jerk.

I sighed through my nose and opened the door.

"You _what_?"

"Che. She was demonstrating her 'amazing' driving skills. That's what she was doing," Kanda snorted, his eyes half-lidded and his arms crossed, making a carefree posture in which I feel agitated by.

Argh. What's with him and sarcasm? And the anger that he was bubbling up a couple minutes ago? It's as if he caught the MSS: Mood Swing Syndrome.

"_Allen._"

"He kept calling me beansprout despite of the multiple times I told him not too!" I cried, throwing my arms in the air—for emphasis. "I even had to spell it out for him but he still didn't understand."

Link massaged his temple and closed his eyes. "I don't know what relationship you two had back then, but I cannot believe that you crashed the car."

"She ran over a cat with it too," Kanda said, pointing at me.

"I-I did not!" I protested.

"You didn't see the fur and the blood on the wheels, did you?"

"…"

"I've been meaning to ask," Tokusa piped. "Whose car was that?"

"My adopted brother's," Kanda replied.

"Ooh. You're in hot water now."

I sighed, rubbing my neck. "Uh, do we have to continue these lessons? Really, I think this is a waste a time. And despite the dangers New York has, such as guns and knives, I'm quite sure that I can deal with something like that," I insisted. And I'm not sure that I can take another day with Kanda.

Kanda raised an eyebrow. "It didn't seem that you were doing well when you were ambushed by a gang of amateurs back then," he said.

"What are you talking about? I was never ambushed."

"Che. During the time when Lavi was talking to you—for some reason that I don't care of—you were walking by yourself, and then these guys dragged you to an alley where they were attempting on undressing you."

My shoulders dropped.

What is he talking about? I never was…

Oh.

_Oh_.

Okay then.

"Was that when you were dressed as Pika—" I was interrupted with Kanda's hand covering my mouth. He glared at me and mouthed, '_Not a word._'

"Allen was almost raped and Kanda was watching this while wearing what?" Tokusa chirped while an amused smirk was upon that pretty face of his. And he was rubbing his chin, as if he knew.

"I think that me being _raped _is improbable, Tokusa," I scoffed, pushing the Japanese's hand away. "I could easily take them down…but I was pinned…But if there were less of them then surely…"

"This is New York, Allen," Link disrupted. "Anything is probable. And whether or not you can be more attentive of your surroundings, it's still a dangerous area, especially when alone."

"And besides," Kanda added, smirking, "any guy, even the delusional or desperate, wouldn't go as far as to bang with sprout here."

I gawked and then glared at him.

"Now, that was awfully mean of you," Tokusa commented, but the smirk did not fade away. If my eyes were failing me, I wouldn't be able to catch that smirk being broader.

"But true," Kanda snorted, leaning against the wall.

I was tempted on shouting out that Kanda was dressed as Pikachu, but I figured that my hide was much more important. Plus, I'm sure that Tokusa would take the liberty to tease Kanda (much to my pleasure) and Kanda would take the liberty to strangle Tokusa and then me (much to my displeasure). But then again, I could exclaim it quickly and then run away as fast as I can. Hopefully, he won't track me down with his car.

I can't outrun a car.

And then it hit me.

"You have a brother?" I asked belatedly.

Kanda gave me a look.

"Since when?" I continued, trying to ignore the incredulity of his expression. I couldn't decide on cracking a smile at the funny face or glaring at it because he was probably thinking that I'm an idiot. In which I am not.

"What are you? An idiot?" he said.

Before I could comment, Tokusa said, "That's likely my fault. You see, in the duration of Allen's presence of working here, there would be times where I would climb up the latter and put the books away while Allen would do it beneath me, and there would be times where I would accidentally drop books on her head. Once it was a very thick atlas."

"It was a good thing that we decided to switch," I grumbled, unconsciously rubbing my head.

"Thus the lack of her brain cells!"

Kanda nodded. "It was no wonder that beansprout wasn't thinking today. And that she crashed the car."

Thus the love I have for Kanda!

In which I am capable of saying this: Yuu Kanda is a jerk. I hold no resentment towards him (amazingly) because I have the sympathy and kindness that will help me understand of what was the origin of Kanda's foul personality. Perhaps he was abused as a child, like me. Perhaps he was misunderstood as a child, like me. Perhaps he was raised without the proper guardian, like me—Cross Marian.

But I do not scowl 24/7 nor do I have a voice of threats.

So Yuu Kanda has no excuse!

I think…

Though whatever his case may be, can't he lay off the 'I am a big fat jerk' thing? Especially on me? I'm not sure what I did to make him so…so hostile towards me. I mean, sure I may have called him names, but that was only in defense when he was calling me names! And it's not as if I treat him with no respect; I truly do…somewhat. But it surely is difficult when the man is really…jerk-ish.

And because of that, something inside of me just snapped. It was like the kind of snap that would be heard from a block of diamond being snapped. And diamond is really hard material.

I smiled, and it felt weird—I think I was smiling _adoringly. _Well, as I was smiling adoringly, my face was directed towards Kanda, so that would mean I was smiling adoringly to Kanda. My head was tilted to the side and my finger was twirling a strand of my hair. And I spoke with words gushing with honey-coated sweetness, "_Kanda, _I think that I really, really, really _love _you!"

He was nonchalant. "I know that you're going to end up trying to insult me, so nice try," he snorted.

_DANGFLABBIT! _He saw through my attack!

"What would it take for me to get, I don't know, revenge?" I groaned aloud, frowning. "Because every single time whenever you're near you end up infuriating me!"

His face was still not caring. "How about, like, never?"

"You know what they say, opposites attract," Tokusa suddenly said.

We turned around and gave him a look.

Tokusa's weird, despite how attractive he is.

"Uh, so anyway…" I trailed. "Well, that's unfortunate, I forgot what I was about to say…" I tapped my chin and tried to conjure the thought back. I'm sure it was something worth saying.

"Maybe you were about to say how you're going to pay for my brother's car that you had ruined?" the sword wielder and jerk said.

"Uh, I'll consider that offer. Thanks," I said, forcing a smile.

"I wasn't saying that as an offer." His eyes narrowed.

"Hate to burst your bubble, but I don't exactly have the money to pay off the damages to the car. I have my own financial problems, thank you very much."

"And I have college to pay for, and I wasn't the one who crashed the car," he countered venomously.

I pressed my lips together. "I'm sorry, but like I said, I _don't _have money for that."

He sighed harshly and turned to Link. "When you said that you were going to pay me to teach the sprout, would hat also include the car repairs?"

"Well, the car is not my responsibility, so no," Link answered.

"I'm charging you."

"By ten percent."

"Sixty."

"Thirty."

"Fifty."

"Thirty-five percent, my final offer."

"Deal," Kanda agreed, nodding.

"Well then," Link sighed, "I propose that we all should get back to work."

A minute later, Kanda reappeared wearing a security guard jacket and a baton. He gave me a last second glare before walking away and outside to patrol. I only regretted not to glare back at him.

"I am shocked. The king of indifference had surprised us by revealing his other set of emotions. I wasn't sure that he was capable of doing that till you two were put together," Tokusa chuckled.

We were assorting the books, the first thing we do before going out and putting the book back to their respectable shelves. Apparently, Tokusa did this somewhere in his first day of the job, but eventually became idle of doing it so he just took an armful of books and went around looking. I can see why Link warned me on my first day about Tokusa being lazy, because he is. But I somehow managed to get him to help me with the sorting. Aren't I lucky.

I looked up from the process and blinked. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, ever since he came here, he was nothing but a block of ice. I can even feel his bitterness emitting from him."

"Very poetic."

"Why thank you." He took a book, glanced at the cover, and plopped it on top of one pile. "When I offered him the job to give driving lessons, he had this look of annoyance but took it anyway, and then he asked me who he was teaching. When I told him he was going to teach Allen Walker he flushed a deep red and stammered 'Really?'"

I rolled my eyes. "Very convincing."

"And then I hitched a ride on a dimensional machine and saw how the other Kanda reacted to the name of his to-be student." Tokusa rubbed his chin. "It was kind of weird, to tell you the truth—and really, I am telling the truth this time. His eyes widened for a moment, and then he suddenly glowered and cursed under his breath. I thought that he held deep hatred of you, but that was before he sighed and said, 'Dammit.'"

And I thought Lavi was the one with the memory. "Well that word probably indicated 'Oh dear, now I have to deal with the sprout because I hate her so much and I am so very exasperated right now because I discovered I had to teach my most hated enemy of all time'," I said, folding my arms.

"Yes, but it was the kind of 'dammit' that meant something much more. And I assure you, not in a resentful way."

"So what do you think it is?"

He shrugged. "Who knows? Perhaps that God of yours will direct you to the answer."

"Okay, if you just stop and take the opportunity to open a Bible, all would be clear to you," I insisted.

"I'll consider it," he said with a dismissive wave.

And I'll make a note to self that I suck on influencing people. Why can't the people around me convert?

Rhode found it annoying that I was always the 'goodie two shoes' and can 'never live life'.

Inwardly, I shrugged off the thought and returned to my assorting. Apparently, they have a new edition of 'Clifford the Big Red Dog'. "So…what did you mean that Kanda showed…more emotions?" I asked, remembering what Tokusa had commented previously.

"I fear that atlas must have made a dent upon your skull, dear Walker."

I looked up and rolled my eyes. The man was smiling. "Well I can't help it whenever someone changes the topic," I grumbled aloud.

"Yes, but you can always press the reverse button because asking with a delay is moronic."

I rubbed my temple. "Tokusa, I'm loosing you. What reverse button?"

"Ask God."

* * *

"I've been meaning to ask," he chirped. "How's your story coming along?"

"Not well," I sighed. "Unfortunately, I don't have the time to. With my job here and some housework, I fear that squeezing some quality writing time is impossible."

"Hmm. That is unfortunate." Tokusa flipped a page. "So do you think that Superman will die first or Batman?"

"Would you put down the bloody comic and focus more on your job?"

"Oh fine." Finally, the man stood up and lifted a stack. I grinned at my accomplishment of persuasion and climbed up the latter. There were only three books in my arms that needed to be placed right above the shelf that was higher than the tip of my fingers. Oh great.

In an instant, my grin vanished. "Remarkable," I muttered.

"What's wrong?" Tokusa asked.

"I can't reach."

I swear, I can visualize a smirking Tokusa. "Looks like we have to switch."

"Okay, but please be careful. I don't really want another dent on my head."

"I cannot keep promises."

As I descended and he took my place on the latter, I was thinking that a book will whack me anyway. And ironically, it did. No wonder Tokusa said that he can't keep promises.

Instinctively, I brought my hands to my head and said, "Ouch."

"Sorry about that."

"It's alright. Didn't even hurt."

"But you said 'ouch'."

"That's a reaction."

"Uh huh."

The book wasn't even heavy enough, which would be entitled as WEIRD because usually the books that fall on me are ridiculously heavy. I bent down to pick it up, but discovered that it was a Bible.

"Well this is unexpected," I said, picking it up but leaving the page open.

"What is?" He climbed down and peered over my shoulder. "Oh, something that only Christians can understand."

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and averted my attention to the book. "I wonder why a Bible is here. Someone must have sent it her by accident." I surveyed the page full of verses and got the message that it was a New King James Bible.

"Huh," Tokusa sniffed.

"What?"

"That sentence…It's strange." He pointed and I followed where his finger was directing.

"Let's see. Proverbs 17:13—_whoever rewards evil for good, evil will not depart from his house_."

"It had something to do with evil so I was curious," he said, rubbing his chin.

"But you know, this can hold a valuable message," I said, snapping the Bible.

"If you give evil something good, then evil will stay with you. Got it. Don't give mercy to muggers who crash into your warm abode."

"Um, that's what it symbolizes."

"Then care to elaborate?"

"Well, I think that the verse was saying that if you sell yourself to the Devil, then you will resent that because the Devil will ruin your life. But if you give yourself to Jesus, then all will be clearer and you will find more to life and be happy and you're not listening to me, are you?"

Tokusa blinked from his blank stare. "You asked me a question, can you repeat?"

I sighed and opened the back cover of the book. To my surprise, the name that was scribbled was Madarao Crowl. There were two reasons for my surprise: one, Madarao had dumped his Bible (either disposal or accidental reasons) into the dropout bin; and two, the man who had a dislike for blue cars…carries the same surname as Tokusa? Were they related?

"Wow, Madarao was looking for that ever since," Tokusa said. "Pretty lucky that it fell out of the shelf when we were here."

"Works of God," I couldn't help but comment. "Anyway, it says Madarao Crowl. _Crowl_. The same surname as yours. I thought you said that he had a different surname."

"Did I?" He rubbed his chin. "I carry no recollection, but we are not related by blood."

"You're…not?" But they resemble similarity, just…not exactly, but it appears so.

"No, but we are from the same race." Oh. Stupid Allen.

"But if you have no family ties, then why the surname?"

"It's because we're adopted."

"…Oh…You mean by that old man that you mentioned before?"

"Yes, the old man who owned that old car Madarao posses."

I tapped my chin. "And he adopted you too."

"No."

"What?"

He grinned, sly-like like the Cheshire Cat. "I'll give you the details another time. As for now" he plucked the Bible off of my hands "I'll leave it for you to ponder."

"I'm not going to ponder about it, Tokusa," I said, smiling knowingly. "I'm aware enough that what you leave me to wonder will only bring me into insanity, because, after all, you are a pretty insane guy."

"And you're just too smart, smart enough to be an Allen," he chuckled. "I can see why Kanda can't keep a straight face around you."

* * *

Honestly, I was scared to go inside. I knew that Tyki was home, which brought a churning to my stomach. Before, I did not discern the…the complication before I go in. But…but now, I'm suffering paranoia even outside of my house. This is becoming an ambiguous matter to comprehend. Does Tyki like me? Do I like Tyki? _Do I like Tyki? _Is it my raging hormones that confuse me? Am I just being idiotic?

Actually, I think that the affect from my hormones is the answer. After all, I wasn't induced in my previous teen years, so they had to bloom about this time now.

At this time. Now. When I'm living with a man. Alone.

I rubbed my chin, courtesy of Tokusa, and wondered if I'll receive acne because I'm a late bloomer. Well, I did receive it back then, but it went away quicker than most unlucky teens. I sighed and decided to risk it. What good will it do if I just stand here being oddly conspicuous?

I unlocked the door and went inside.

"Allen?"

"I'm home," I said.

"Ah, Allen." That…didn't sound like Tyki's voice.

My eyes widened, shocked. "Miss Nine?"

And I just remembered that it wasn't a cat I ran over, but a really fat squirrel. I think.

* * *

A/N: If you don't remember, Klaud Nine and Allen had a little bonding time in Lover's Novel. I portrayed her like a motherly/sisterly figure and her to be exasperated with Cross. It's like a Tsunade and Jiraiya thing going on for Klaud and Cross. And Allen is Sakura, except she's more skeptical and less temperamental—while Sakura punches Naruto a mile away, Allen has her inner turmoil to thrash about. OH! I see how it is. Allen is Sakura. Lavi is Naruto. Kanda is Sasuke. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT! Sorry about the Naruto reference, people.


	8. Realizing Bit By Bit

Disclaimer: I don't want to get sued.

Warning: Tyki/Allen time! Not much interaction between them, just ponders and talking between Miss Nine and Allen.

Reassurement: Yes, do not worry about it. Kanda and Allen WILL have their time together! HONEST! Like, in the next chapter. But for now, just sit back and relax while Allen has HER fun. Hahaha. NOT YOURS! HAHAHAHAHHAHA! Yes, I do love you, my fine readers.

PLEASE AT LEAST READ IT FULLY AND DON'T SKIP PASSAGES!

I HATE it when people just skim! Some could be REALLY crucial to know!

* * *

"Allen, it's good to see you," the blonde woman said, obviously distracting me from the squirrel thought with the warm smile on her face. She walked towards and embraced me, and I awkwardly hung my arms around her. Well, this is strange.

Then we pulled back. "Uh, not to be rude, but what are you doing here?" I asked, and I can hear the hint incredulity in my voice. Really, I am bewildered to see the appearance of my old teacher, who happens to be at my house right now. How did she find me? What is she doing here? What was her purpose—could it be because of my arm and the shiny, green cross thingamajigger embedded into my hand? I do believe that she was part of some kind of organization alongside with Cross.

"To see you, of course," she said sweetly, which gave me an idea that this was a ploy. Obviously. "That young man was kind enough to let me wait here till your arrival."

Young man? "Tyki?" I called out. He emerged and was wearing a calm face, but his actions were telling another story. From behind Mss Nine, he shaking his head and his hand was pointed horizontally while going back and forth by his throat. It looked like he was pretending to cut his throat, but figured that he was playing charades and was indicating to me to…do something…or not to do something…

I wanted to groan. I did not get it.

"Yes, him." Before Miss Nine faced him, he stopped whatever he was doing and put up a friendly smile. "Yes, what a kind gentleman he is. Your caretaker, I presume?"

"I, uh, suppose that would be…the term to…describing his…existence…in my abode. Yes. Maybe." I don't know.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Tyki was palming his face. I think that I did something wrong.

"Ah, well then, would you mind if Allen and I have a chat, Mr. Tyki?" Miss Nine turned again to face him, and instantly he regained his 'I'm a normal person' posture. If I could, I would laugh, but I can't because the tension was straining and I have the sudden need to read my Bible…or something. Well, anything other than standing with this awkward air and by my old teacher who suddenly popped out of nowhere would be better, except taking driving lessons from Kanda. Argh. Anything but this and that.

"Oh, not at all. I'll just be…upstairs if you need me," Tyki said in an amiable tone, the one where he would sometimes tease me with and coo in front of Bartholomew, and when I'm feeling just as insensible as he is, I would do the same. Plus, do some baby noises in front of the bamboo plant that is apparently our child from another mother.

"I need you, Tyki. _Right now_" was what I wanted to say for some reason, but I didn't say it. Instead, I said, "Okay then." And that response was utterly pathetic. I should do the American stereotypical British (and I don't have crooked teeth, darn Americans), "Oh, _good show_, ya laddy! Well, cheerio, right then?" Oh, for goodness sakes, I despise stereotyping; it's downright aggravating.

When Tyki left, I felt as if there was an incredible weight that just landed on me. I hitched a breath as I turned around to Miss Nine, who suddenly had a change of mood. Was she suffering MSS as well?

"Care to explain yourself?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and folding her arms. Already, her fingers drumming on her arm, and I know you're not supposed to do that until five minutes have passed.

"What is there to explain?" I asked. Really, I don't know what to explain. Can't the woman be more specific?

"For starters, why are you living alone with a man?"

"He offered me to go with him, so I did," I answered.

Miss Nine gave me a look, but shook her head. "You have a relationship with him?"

"Uh, no, Miss Nine." Strange…question…

She raised an eyebrow. "So there was no eloping involved?"

I gagged. "No! We did not elope," I almost cried out. "Tyki and I are merely friends, that's all!" Just need to hide Bartholomew in case she wants evidence…

"Oh? It seems to me that it's something more than that." Her eyes were narrowed accusingly, and I was struck with confusion as to why she would say such a thing. I mean, I know that it's odd for a teenaged girl to be living with a young man who has no family ties with her, but with is so suspicious other than that? Did she think that I was smuggling drugs? Did she think that we were doing a 'Bonnie and Clyde' act?

"Why's that?" I couldn't help but squirm under her gaze.

"Because it's not normal for a girl to be living _alone _with a man who is about a couple years older than she is. Now, I don't care that you two are friends; it's not safe," she admonished in a motherly tone, her hands on her hips.

And even when I just explained to her, she remained unconvinced and suspects that I would loose my virginity to Tyki. I would shudder, but…it's not that disturbing. Anyway, it looks like I'm stuck in a sticky situation, but I find it not that bad really. The way Miss Nine shows her apparent concern is quite touching. As a child with freak-worthy traits, I received little care. And without the knowledge of what's it like to have a mother, this feels like a new sensation that I can enjoy. However, despite the desire of having a parental figure, I can't help but feel nervous and somewhat annoyed. I probably have the rights to tell her to butt out, though…

"And, sweetie, I know that Cross—that good for nothing pervert—had abandoned you, so I'm willing to take you in."

…I wasn't expecting something considerate from her. I eyed her, and licked my lips in a nervous fashion. "Why would you do that…for me?" I asked carefully.

I wasn't sure if I should take immediate action on trusting her fully—the too-kind offer made me suspicious, but it could be my fault seeing how I couldn't get adjusted to deeds such as these. Sure, Tyki had offered me to go with him, but he and I became really close over the years. I…felt safe with him because our bond strengthened. And whether Miss Nine was being genuinely caring, I don't know her very well. I only know that she is a sensible woman who, likely, knows how to take care of an aggravating Cross Marian.

Her eyes widened, and I suppose that it was from the irony. "Honey, why would you say that? Don't you know you deserve something, well, more than _this_?" She opened her arms and gestured to the living room. "This kind of lifestyle is not good for a young woman as yourself; what you need is a female figure, not a man who you have no relative ties," she said, frowning.

"I…don't know, Miss Nine. I mean, to be honest, I'm not sure about your offer because it just seems a bit…rushed? W-well, we just met again, and I'm afraid that I'll feel uneasy by staying at someone else's home when we are not very much so close. Excuse me."

The woman nodded. "I understand, but wasn't it the same with you and that Tyki-person?"

"Not exactly…"

She raised an eyebrow.

"You see, Tyki's niece is a friend of mine, and there were times where she would take me to her house, and eventually we had become accustomed to one another's being. Sometimes we exchanged words, and then…move on, I guess."

"And your attachment now?"

Suppressing a cringe, I answered, "After my friend moved to go to boarding school, I would see Tyki by my neighborhood quite often and we would chat. You would say that after those times, we had grown closer than before." But certainly not like an attachment as in attraction…Or that's what Miss Nine probably thinks…Well, she did assume that I liked Tyki that way, so she must have meant it like that!

"I still don't find this appropriate."

I…kind of don't find this right either. I'm becoming paranoid around Tyki, even though I'm doing an okay job of masking my hesitance. Whether it's Tyki going after me or vice-versa, it's not safe. At any rate, something bad is going to happen between us because our relationship would be deterred by…this.

Maybe I should go with Miss Nine. After all, having a sensible woman as my caretaker would be a good influence on me, and I managed to remain uncorrupted for oh so long so a new start would be refreshing. Maybe I should leave to lessen Tyki's problems considering how he's working for the both of us. But that would mean that I would walk away from the financial problems we had been suffering ever since we came here, and it wasn't so bad because we had each other.

If I left, then how would Tyi put up with this? In a good way? In a bad way? Would he feel relieved that I'm out of his hair? I don't know if I am being a nuisance to him, but there could be a possibility that I am. Knowing Tyki, he must be more accustomed to the solitary life, no traces of anyone else who had been treading in the hallways or the stairs or anywhere. He must be more comfortable being alone.

"W-well," I said, "just mainly because Tyki is a man and I'm a teenaged girl, right?"

Miss Nine nodded. "You won't know what will happen eventually, Allen," she warned.

I was aware of what she was talking about.

"I know that a fine young lady as yourself should not leave to do those things yet, despite whether you think you won't do it."

"But we're friends," I insisted.

"Oh? And have friends not fallen in love with each other before?"

I sighed and rubbed my knuckle against my forehead. I felt exhausted suddenly, probably because of the unfriendly reminder. Yes. Friends can fall in love…Yes. Such love can lead to sad endings…Yes. Despite our friendship, it could change…Between Tyki and me.

It just seems so ridiculous! Why would a handsome and grown man go for a girl like me? I'm abnormal! He could easily pursue a beautiful model. He sees me nothing more than a younger sister, likely. There is nothing going to happen between us!

…Probably…

"Yes," I answered.

"So your final answer?"

I licked my lips. "I don't know," I muttered.

"Take a minute to think about it?"

I nodded.

There were weights on my shoulders: the devil-Allen and the angel-Allen. It's like one of those moments where you can't decide on something, so you have to draw yourself a fraction of fiction to balance things out. I guess I'm experiencing my second hallucination—first was when Cross abandoned me in a desert with nothing but Jell-O.

Obviously, I would only listen to angel-Allen because the angels always knew what to do while the devils pull be closer to strife—conspiring little monsters. But I couldn't help but hear the sneering voice of my evil-and yet definitely fake-self, apparently. "_Stay_ with Tyki! You _know_ you want too."

"Yes, you _must_ stay with Tyki in order for you to clear your confusion," angel-Allen agreed. Okay, this is weird. Weren't angels supposed to have a completely different point of views contradicting the devils? And what kind of logic would that be if I decided to stay here? Maybe I'm just…am going brain-broken because of all this pressure being applied on me. I'm pretty sure these sort of things happen to people all the time.

But…

_Would I be willing to not see his smiles and hear his laughter? Would I be willing to leave his funny attitude around me just to cheer me up? Would I be willing to not repay the obligation that I was indebted to?_

What would happen if I left Tyki?

Would I feel safe?

Would I feel strong?

Would I feel pure?

Would I feel peace?

Would I feel dissatisfaction? Yes. Yes I would.

Already, I have attached myself to Tyki because he is someone who I hold dear. Ironically, he's someone who I need in my life, and just moving away would make things very difficult.

I…I…I just don't know…why I have these feelings for him…Why I need him so much. I don't know.

But what I do know is that I cannot leave him.

I cannot leave him and I want to discover the reason to these feelings that I have. Could it be due to my stupid hormones or my genuine love for him…? I want to know to get rid of this horrid paranoia! Why do I feel this way?

I cannot leave Tyki Mikk.

So then…

"Then…I'm sorry, but I have to turn down the offer, Miss Nine."

"You love him, don't you?" she said, her eyes closing. I chewed my lip, and then sighed. It must be kind of obvious that it would turn like this, anyway.

"Romantically or only as a brother, I'm not sure myself," I admitted, rubbing my neck. "But you must know that I owe a lot to that man. Tyki helped me when I was in depression; he was my only friend at that time where everyone I knew was moving out of town. And then he told me that I could go to New York with him, and I knew that I couldn't just stay at home—life was already hard enough, so I took the opportunity to escape." I placed my hand on the top of my cap during the pause of thinking. "The man's incredible in so many ways. You wouldn't expect much kindness from him because his personality says it all, but deep inside he is one of the most amazing persons I have ever known.

"He lends an ear to listen to the things I needed to say. He, well, doesn't always gets it, but he tries to understand me. He makes me laugh and smile in the cheesiest, funniest, and daring ways ever. He knows how to take care of Timcampy, the bird Cross left. He knows that I like to eat a lot, so he makes sure that he stocks up, and other times he makes the most delicious dishes ever. He is intelligent and logical, but never boasts about it—unless he's going to tease me." A smile spread across my face as I touched the marring on my face. "Tyki never shown any disgust to my oddities: my hair, my scar, and though I have yet to reveal my arm, I am confident that he wouldn't care. Never had I been hurt by him. He paid for my flight ticket and my passport, he let me stay here, he gives me his company and friendship, and all I had ever done was to help pay for the furniture and this apartment."

I then realized that during my confession I had listed many things about Tyki Mikk. When I said that he was incredible and amazing, I was hoping that those words would be taken notice as a deep admiration instead of a helpless frontage. I wasn't sure what I could say to make Tyki as a wonderful person—Tyki was just…Tyki. But as I forced my tongue to enunciate sentences that could prove to Miss Nine that he is as incredible and amazing as I said he was, it came out so fluently. It was like the unrecognized truths were cascading off of my tongue.

I also realized what I had done in return for Tyki. And not much, I can see, but it gives me a reason why I have to stay here with the man who I care so much about.

"If I…If I leave now, that would mean I would be abandoning everything that he had given me. I appreciate and will cherish those moments—it had been _so long _for me to know what's it like to have that kind of….familiarity."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'love'." Her eyes were open, looking at me in an almost tiring way, but the smile on her face proved that she wasn't entirely exasperated by me. "Allen, from what I heard from Cross, you had been nothing but a disheartened child ever since the death of your father, and yet you managed to hide this as you got older, you still had that sadness in you.

"I…suppose that I can understand why you choose to stay with him, that man who retreated upstairs," she sighed.

I nodded. "I, uh…Well, maybe I _do_ actually love him. He—He has done so much for me, and maybe I just felt overwhelmed by that now that I realized it."

"Sweetie, the way you talked about him pretty much says that you love him," she snorted.

"B-but in a romantic way or a sibling way?"

She paused, and then answered, "I think that's for you to discover yourself."

Well that's unfair. After telling me that I love him, shouldn't I have the rights to know what kind of love it is? As I said before, I'm not sure if I love Tyki romantically or only as a brother. Or that I'm being hormonal and paranoid.

"He certainly is handsome, I'll give you that," she commented mischievously, giving me a wink and a smirk.

"I don't usually notice that." Until now. Thanks a bunch Miss Nine.

"How can you not? He's a walking candle that's still burning and not even _melting._"

I don't like the metaphor; it makes me too aware of Tyki's looks.

"And did I hear a bit of an accent back then?" she said, tapping her chin in curiosity.

"Tyki's Portuguese," I said.

"That is a prized combo. You said that he cooks and takes care of Cross's bird? That he's smart? That he's funny?" She shook her head. "You better keep him close; otherwise some other girl is going to steal him right under your nose."

I ducked my head because I was blushing.

"But that doesn't mean that I'm letting you off the hook."

I looked up, surprised. "What?"

"Whether or not he has done so much for you still does not convince me that this is safe. I'll tell you what, you and I go to this little coffee shop that I recently discovered and you can explain your daily life here. Sounds good?"

Despite my dislike of coffee shops because of a certain part of my background, I nodded in agreement.

* * *

Miss Nine told me that she found me because she looked through my old school's files that informed her of where I'm currently at. And how she got the address…?

'_Well, a little birdie told me.'_

I would have blamed Tim, but that would be mean of me. So it was beyond me.

Before she left, she handed me her number and said that I can call her whenever. She also said that she'll be researching on the gem thingy on my hand and the deformation of the arm so she'll keep in touch as well. And, surprisingly again, she didn't even have to ask me for my number. Super mega mind, I'm sure.

And I was surprised for the third time because Miss Nine flew all the way back to the dreaded place and all the way to New York. I insisted that she should stay for a while, but she declined because she needed to get going. So we hugged—a new custom that I'll have to get used to—and said our farewells. I was kind of sad to see her leave; the woman was definitely an aspiring role model. Definitely the figurative speaker as well.

Walking candles? I never knew she had such imagination.

She didn't even mention about my arm, which I somehow felt relived for. I don't think I can put up with another troublesome topic to talk about.

Though I do hope that Miss Nine would come again, with news about my birth defect this time.

And I was actually surprised that she would allow me to stay with Tyki. Well, she didn't really say that I can—she didn't say anything at all, but she left without any regards to it, so I suppose that she would let me off the hook. For now, I suppose.

I jabbed the keys into the lock and was intending to go straightly to my room until Tyki called out, "You know that this Monday you have school, right?"

"…What day is it today?"

"Saturday."

School was coming in two days…

That night, I dreamt about fat squirrels and cats and Pokemon and that ninja boy who wears orange.

* * *

A/N: I HAVE SOMETHING TO CLEAR UP FOR YOU GUYS! Allen, shockingly, is a girl with hormones, and those hormones can deceive a girl into thinking that an attractive dude being nice to her would indicate a fondness he has of her. Trust me, I hate my hormones and I can't help but think that every time a guy does that to me. I hate myself for that. And they're not always so hot, believe me.

Anyway, Allen is just a confused girl with mixed up feelings, but despite this, she could possibly have genuinely romantic feelings for Tyki. Does Tyki feel the same way? Who knows? But to assure you, Allen and Kanda will end up being together at the end—BECAUSE THIS IS A YULLEN STORY!

Now, some folks been telling me about how Lavi and Allen should have a get-to-go or something…I'm not sure about that because I'm intending on making Allen's hormones not TOO crazy. Ya know what I mean? And besides, she got over him. And when I mean that she got over HIM, I mean Lavi, not Debitto. Yes, she's still brooding about him—you just can't tell cuz she is so good not mentioning him in her thoughts or when speaking. And I am sorry for those you find Allen's sensitivity to be a bit of an annoyance, but Debitto WAS Allen's FIRST boyfriend, and because she was naïve she truly thought they had something meaningful and nothing can break them apart. Well, the boarding school thingy sure did the trick, huh?

I just want to say one more thing: DRAMA! I'm not sure if you guys like drama, but I do. It adds up the tension and the excitement and whatnot! Plus I've been unconsciously doing it for my stories, so some have been labeled as DRAMA! DRAMA = Allen's internal turmoil. I'm not torturing her on purpose, I swear!


	9. Mildness In Deliberation

When I woke up, I was sitting up in my bed, staring blankly across the room. Tim, unusually, wasn't gnawing on my toes; in fact, he was nowhere in my room, so he must be with Tyki I'm sure. I sighed and slipped out of bed and made way to the bathroom.

And that was when I realized that years ago Kanda was dressed up as that Naruro boy or whatever his name was. Orange and blue were the colors that I remembered. I guess it was a good thing I realized sooner—blackmail surely wouldn't be put up to good use if I didn't get the information right.

I took a good look at myself: there was a ridiculous cowlick on my bangs and crust dribbling down from the corner of my mouth. If there was a product to prevent sleep drool I'm sure it wouldn't work on me either way. I could easily wash the crust off, but the cowlick doesn't seem to be submissive even after brushing it. I shrugged and brushed my teeth—that was when I remembered something.

Yesterday, I found out that I might have…_feelings_ for Tyki.

Oh, God help me now.

Doesn't he live with me? Oh gosh, now that would be awkward. It was good that Tyki doesn't know, and I'll make sure he'll never _ever_ know, but what are the chances of me messing up? And it'll surely affect me regarding to how I know that I _like_ Tyki, whereas I'm bound to do something idiotic when he's around. Yeah, this is going to be horrible. I'm sure Miss Nine left New York with that kind of knowledge. I pray that she's not a sadistic woman who I look up to.

Why didn't I take my chances going with her?

Fantastic, I feel self-conscious now. Have my nose been that big? What will Tyki think when he sees that blemish on my left cheek? He might see me as an ugly teenage girl. Oh great, do I have to get into make up now? And just what am I going to do with this cowlick? This is maddening!

I hate being a teenager.

I decided that if I become too wary of my appearance then I would be too conspicuous, so the cowlick shall remain. Sighing, I left the bathroom and to the kitchen, and that was when I was inwardly fussing about what I am wearing. For goodness sakes…_Why_ is this happening to me? This _never_ happened to me before. _Why_ is this happening to me? I _hate_ being a teenager.

"Morn' Al."

"Gu—Gaah!" Somehow, I lost control of my feet and slipped. Figuring out that since I'm no longer upright, I must be plummeting to the kitchen floor, so I closed my eyes shut. Never would I guess that arms would envelope me, catching my fall. And what is the possibility of Tyki being the one who caught me?

"Uh, Allen, you okay?" I opened my eyes, my gaze meeting with Tyki's.

Of course it would be Tyki—who else lived in this house? The bright side: it wasn't Kanda at the least. I'm not sure I can put up with his negativity this early.

"U-uh, sorry about that," I muttered, standing on my own.

"Since when were you so jumpy? This sort of thing kinda happened ever since you came back home," he snorted, crossing his arms.

Clearly when a girl opens to raging hormones and have a young man living with her, she would be jumpy, or at least in my case. Miss Nine told me that girls who do not have restraint like I do would go on auto-pilot and attack the young man, depending on how bad the hormones are. Miss Nine also told me that late bloomers are quite rocky concerning on hormonal adaption, or so she had experienced when handling high school students.

I am afraid.

"Did that teacher of yours say something discomforting?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Somewhat," sighed I, "but nothing that I can't handle." I hope so.

He frowned. "Is she…planning on sending you somewhere?"

I blinked, pretty stunned by the fact that he guessed right. "Ah, well, that was her original initiative—raise me with higher education and a pleasant location (she even considered moving back to England, where she had grew up), but…she decided not to."

"Oh…So what did you say to that?" he asked. "Surely you must've been disappointed not being able to take a chance like that, especially returning to England."

"Well, actually I was against it. I was the one who persuaded her out of the idea."

His face showed that he was surprised. "Why?"

"I owe you a lot."

He still was puzzled.

"You know, for…everything, like taking me away from that place," I grumbled while running my fingers through my hair. "And I _know_ that you can't pay off rent without me, so…"

"Are you serious?" He laughed, ruffling my hair so that more strands of hair would stand erect. "Allen, no need to use financial issues as your excuse—I know that you stayed because you love me."

My intuition told me that Tyki pulling my leg, that he was in good humor, and that he had no idea that I actually…uh, well, _might_ be in love with him. However, in spite of the common sense, I couldn't help but feel a wave of panic, that a fraction of me was convinced that he indeed knew the truth. I was sinking deeper and deeper in apprehension as seconds ticked by. Did he know? Did he not know?

And then he said, "And good thing too. I don't think I can afford loosing ya. What would Bartholomew say?"

And so I forced a grin and replied, "I guess that if I did go with Miss Nine then Bart would have to put up with it."

"If that's the case then my son and I would go to the ends of the earth to hunt you down. Do you think it would be worth that?"

"I'll take my chances."

This playfulness made me realize that Tyki and I rarely had been staid when accompanying each other. Though I enjoy it when we tease one another, poking fun, the level of seriousness of our relationship would be a downfall disregarding our friendship. Sure, Tyki may care about me as much as I care about him, but…he would never take me seriously. And…I have trouble keeping a straight face when he's around.

Perhaps I don't really think Tyki like that after all. Perhaps I was just overreacting to his touches, the result of my developing paranoia. But why do I feel this—this impulse to sink into his arms and soak up his warmth? To hear his beating heart against his chest? To be by his side always? Why have I fallen hard for his golden gaze—that whenever his gorgeous eyes turn onto me I can feel my legs going weak? Why do I secretly yearn to hear his melodic voice call out my name and only my name?

Tyki is a Catholic. Tyki has a wonderful personality. Tyki is one of the few people who Timcampy actually likes. Tyki is tolerant of his peculiar family. Tyki wants to be a father. Tyki is…

Tyki is the man who I am in love with.

I think.

Maybe I love him…Maybe I don't.

ARGH! I don't know!

The more I think about it the more confused I am. And it makes me…more uncertain about my feelings. Just what are they? Who do they belong to? Do they really belong to Tyki or—or I'm misplacing them?

Are they a delusion? Are they genuine?

Tell me God, do I love Tyki?

* * *

There's a reason why Kanda and I are gawking at one another.

Kanda is bewildered to see me here.

I am bewildered to see him here in a _church_.

Explanation: I needed to contemplate on my thoughts so I went out of the house, and somehow ended at a church. It was great at first—I mean, what's the best way to solve my situation by worshiping? Well…though it wasn't a Christian church but a Catholic one, I still went. Christian and Catholic were similar in a way. Anyway, when the preacher was done, everyone got up from his or her seat and flooded out to the exit or just lingered by and talked to other people. It was difficult for me to reach the open doors so I thought I might as well zone out until it was clear.

And by doing that, I crashed into Kanda…who was wearing a suit.

Our lovely conversation commenced when we both exclaimed, "What are you doing here?" And there was a string of rambling and accusations and whatnot. It was rather funny, really, but not during the time where I was engaging a discussion with the jerk who grew out his hair. Just like last year.

I recall mentioning that I was so sure that Kanda was a heathen or that there was no way that he was Catholic. "Che. What do you think that I was?" he said.

"That…you would go to hell when you die?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Not that I didn't mean well, but it was rather…apparent that you weren't a believer. I mean, you swear fluently left to right." I frowned. "You're a hypocrite."

"How am I a hypocrite?" he scoffed, frowning back.

"Because God wouldn't want His children to do things such as cursing, and you curse. Frequently, I might add," I stated logically.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you even know why I'm here?"

"Because you're willing to show an ounce of your love to Jesus?"

Kanda glared at me.

I shrugged. "Sorry, I forgot that you have no emotions."

"Crowl must've knocked out a chunk of your brain, that or the car crash," Kanda sighed, shaking his head.

I shrugged. "Or the fact that depression can make a person slightly idiotic," I said truthfully.

He turned around and walked away.

"H-hey, wait…! Weren't you going to tell me why you're here?"

"I don't know you," he called back.

Was I that strange causing Kanda to pretend that I was someone who he never met?

Answer: yes.

I took happy meds once, and I felt the urge to grin all the time, hum and skip as if I was an overly hyper woman who was proposed by the man of her dreams. It was weird and icky in a way, as if I was being substituted by another Allen. So I decided that I'll handle depression naturally by having human contact other than isolating myself and replace my happiness with fakeness. I'm sure that there were happy med chemicals still in my system, hence why I have my moments, thank you very much.

"Kanda! Hold on." I pushed my way through the crowd. He walked even faster, and I couldn't help but wear a grin. For some silly reason, I felt oddly curious of what he had to say, or would say until he figured that perhaps my head must be somewhere else. It definitely was the result of after having depression. "Tell me!"

"What's the point when it's clear that you're suitable for preparing a trip to the funny farm?" I heard him snort.

"At least I'm not a hypocrite," I snapped, pointing at him.

"Wow, was that really supposed to offend me?" he said, facing me. He raised a hand to his heart, feigning shock, and then later _amusement_. Or that cocky smirk is indeed the real thing—I'm not sure, I carry no recollection of Kanda ever smirking at me. "I'm hurt, _beansprout_."

"For the last time," I growled, "my name is—!"

"Al?" What the? "A-A-Al? Oh shit—schnitzel cheese wheels! It's Al!"

I wasn't sure what was happening. I remembered chasing after Kanda, for reasons unknown. It's probably because of why he was wearing a suit. But I guess that cannot be arranged regarding to how a dear old friend of mine is too wearing a _suit_.

"My god—god—godly Lord, Savior, and yeah, have brought you to me! Jeez, Al, it's so good to see you again!" Daisya brought me into a hug. "You really made my day, you know? I've been so pissed ever since someone crashed my car!"

That or the fact that Daisya is here before me.

"By the way, the carcass on your wheels? Yeah, that was her," Kanda said, pointing at me.

**

* * *

**

**OMAKE**

"Heeey, Allen," Tokusa said.

"Yes?" Allen looked away from the shelves and to him.

"It says in this magazine that a man and a woman with opposing personalities would make a more loving couple. If a couple bickers often, divorcement is still not probable and the relationship is passionate. If the couple rarely bickers, they are a genuinely happy with one another, an ideal relationship." He waved the magazine—that was supposed to be for girls—in her face.

Allen pushed the magazine away. "Tokusa," said the girl slowly, "why are you doing slacking off?"

"Oh, silly Allen, if you were to be more attentive then it would be plain as day," the man said with a chipper grin.

"_Please_, Tokusa, do your work! You're not going to get paid by doing nothing, you know."

"But aren't you curious about this? I find it to be reasonable." Tokusa rubbed his chin. "Say, you and Kanda sort of fall into this category."

Allen nearly dropped an encyclopedia on her foot. "What…?"

"Well, you two do argue frequently, and Kanda seems to be more tolerable around you."

"…"

"Oh, how ironic! You two are opposite in appearance as well! Whereas you have short hair almost the shade of white, Kanda has his long black hair. You have freckles while the boy is flawless. You don't always wear a scowl while he always wears a scowl. Isn't that exciting?" Tokusa clasped his hands together, very much pleased of his revelation.

"…I have freckles…?"

"If they're not freckles, then what on earth are those blotchy things on your face? Certainly looks like freckles to me."

Allen twitched and sighed, shaking her head. "Why am I never furious with you? Oh, don't bother," she added when he was about to open his mouth. "Just—just get back to work."

"Aye, aye," he said with a salute.

* * *

A/N: Lame omake, I agree, but I use it just to make this chapter a bit longer. Yeah, it's an excuse. Whatever. Anywho, if you enjoy drama and slight angst then please wait in anticipation—as in, stay tuned for the next few chapters. Man, you guys are so passionate about this "Poker Pair". Back in my days, Allen and Tyki was a rare pair and I have never heard of the couple having their own name. Funny. I should visit DGM more.

Question from reviewer: Will Allen meet with Lavi and Debitto again?

Answer: I'm planning to, but things might change. In Lover's Novel, I was planning on making Kanda kissing Allen and Lavi being so furious that the two were having a fist-fight. And I didn't even intend on making Allen end up with Debitto either. So…you might have to wait and see.

Question from reviewer: What happened to Nine's monkey, Lau Shimin?

Answer: I don't think it's normal for a woman to be walking in public with a monkey on her shoulder…But he's alive! Or is it a she? A boy or girl monkey…? Meh.

Question from the future: Did Allen completely forget about Debitto? She seems to be easily falling in love with Tyki.

Answer: Well, when your boyfriend, who you were passionately in love with, suddenly broke up with you, then of course you would try to forget about him. However, Allen isn't sure how to deal with this so she neglects her former loved one and unintentionally looks for a new. But this doesn't mean Debitto's out of the picture.

Question from the future: Isn't Kanda a bit OC?

Answer: Only with Allen he is.

Question from the future: Can we have spoilers?

Answer: No.


	10. Normal Day

**Smiles555fofo says:** I updated! Yes! After days of writer's block, I have finally overcome the nasty beast! And I shall answer whatever questions from reviewers at the end of this chapter.

* * *

"Oi, beansprout, watch where you—" The moment Kanda was about to hiss out a train of profanities was when he wasn't able to because I just so didn't happen to see the hydrant in my way, and thus I crashed into it (the grounds used to belong to a firehouse, but I don't see why they had a hydrant built in the lot sticking out like a sore thumb—just doesn't make sense). Apparently, I rammed into the hydrant really hard that the top blew off, and water began to shoot upwards.

The compact cushioning then deflated, not much so as to retreat back into the compartments but enough so that I was able to see anything else other than the cushion. Sadly, the first thing that I saw was Daisya clutching his sides, laughing so much that his face was blooming red. I had a feeling that all this was meant for his entertainment—my friend knows me well. Turning my head to the right and away from the window (seeing Daisya guffawing was making me anxious), I saw Kanda giving me _the look_.

"It's been a long day," I insisted.

"How is it that you're not improving at all?" he questioned dryly.

I shrugged. "Cars don't agree with me, I suppose."

"What kind of logic is that?" he snorted, opening the door on his side to step out. I mimicked his moves, desperate to stretch my legs. Then catching up to him, I said, "Well, I certainly find it logical. No matter what, I always end up totaling the cars." With that said, I gestured to the other five cars that I have destroyed (that much I'll admit).

Kanda smirked. "Maybe you're just a horrible driver."

"Maybe you're just a horrible teacher."

"Che. Dream on beansprout."

"My name is Allen."

"I don't _care_."

And then followed out usual bickering. Though it had been two years or so, I find it to be amazing how we can argue like the good old days. Not that those days were ever good. However, it was…kind of nostalgic that we get to return to our typical routine: falling into a pattern of our seldom agreements and our more-than-frequent disagreements. It was disheartening though that I can never get Kanda to stop calling me beansprout! Or even take over the argument. Have I lost my touch?

I rolled my eyes when Kanda retorted something—he's getting good. Daisya met up with us. He teased me about my driving, so I had to tease back, and then the three of us went inside to have our late lunch. And when I mean inside, I mean inside a bloody manor that should belong to stinkin' rich folks. (I was shocked beyond belief when Daisya brought me here—and that was before he decided that Kanda should give me my lessons today.)

"I still can't believe that Mr. Tiedoll is your foster father. Not to mention that the two of you are brothers," I said, looking at the paintings on the walls we were passing by.

"Yeah. Even though we were childhood friends, practically sis and bro, I didn't feel comfortable letting you know about that," Daisya said. I blinked and turned to face him. Kanda was raising an eyebrow at him as Daisya was sheepishly scratching his head under his hat.

"What's wrong letting her know that we're adopted by the same man?" Kanda demanded coolly.

His brother gave him a disbelieving glance. "Are you kidding me? I know you joke around, but as you can see Al is indeed a girl. If you knew that you and I were related, I was afraid that she'll end up being bimbo for you and nag me about having her see you," he exclaimed.

"Oh Daisya," I cried, "I would never do that! Especially not with Kanda. The fellow has no class—yuck."

"As if you're one to talk," Kanda snorted. "For starters, why do you always wear that hobo hat anyways?"

Daisya and I gasped.

"Kanda, you can't say that!" Daisya admonished, even going far as to smack his arm with his own hat.

"That's right. Someone dear to me gave me this very cap, and I've sworn never to step outside without it," I declared. Daisya applauded. Kanda snorted again.

"Don't mind him, Al. Kanda is grumpy that he doesn't have his own hat," Daisya said. Before we would hear Kanda snap, I asked, "By the way, why do you think that I would be different if I met Kanda years ago?"

"Because, as much as I hate to admit it, Kanda is eye-candy to all females—Marie said so."

"Marie?" I repeated.

"Our other brother who Froi adopted."

"Wow. Mr. Tiedoll must've been a lonesome person."

I recalled having the man as an art teacher when I was in middle school. He regarded every one of his students as his children. At first, it was welcoming since Mana was gone and Cross was a lousy guardian, but eventually it was downright absurd—creepy if I might add. I made sure that I took a different elective the next year.

Daisya chuckled, which sounded nervous. "You have no idea."

"Seriously, you don't," Kanda deadpanned. I vaguely wondered if Mr. Tiedoll tried putting a dress on Kanda. Remembering Lavi showing me a picture of Kanda as a child got me the idea. He was awfully pretty back then that I mistook him for a girl.

On our way to the kitchen, I asked Daisya, "So how is that you're living in luxury now? It wasn't like this before."

"Oh, remember those days when I was absent from school because my family was visiting my grandparents?"

"Well, when you were in middle school and I was still in elementary school, and other days because you were two years older than me…"

"Yes, yes, yes."

"But I do remember that. Your grandparents wanted to see you all the time, so I had to sit around the neighborhood doing nothing for days until you came back."

"And that was a regrettable thing for me to do. Anyway, my grandparents were the aunt and uncle of our foster dad, who was raised by them ever since his biological parents died. Technically, they're our foster great aunt and uncle, but we refer them as our grandparents nevertheless. Except for Kanda who didn't believe in talking."

"How typical," I laughed. Kanda che-ed.

"They used to live here where we used to visit. And now, dun dun dun!—we live here."

"Why's that? What happened to your grandparents?"

"They retired and decided to move to Hawaii. But since retiring meant that they had to abandon their business, they needed a successor, so Froi comes along and becomes the new owner."

And the reason for the move two years ago? "How about you two? What about college?"

"Well, I wanted to go to one college, and Kanda wanted another, but because of Froi's persisting, we gave up and go to the same college that our older brothers attend to—the same one that you work at. Man, I can't believe you can put up with Howard Link! The guy's like a stick."

"He's not as bad as Cross," I pointed out.

"That's true," he agreed. Daisya is more than acquainted with Cross, and that was partially my fault. It's amazing how the friendship we still have managed to survive.

"Then if you're now rich, why do you need a job, Kanda?" I asked. "You can't honestly say that it's for your tuition."

The older boy sighed. "It's because I live on my own. Unlike Daisya, I don't want to rely on the geezer for survival."

"Hey!" Daisya cried.

"So I'm working to pay off my rent." It was kind of like my situation, I noticed, except Kanda is doing it by himself. Tyki and I are working together so it's alright, but it must be tougher on Kanda. But he likes to do things alone, that much is obvious.

My brows furrowed. "But as a security guard?"

He raised and dropped his shoulders idly. "It's efficient in both job and pay."

Of course. "Anyway, one more question."

"Shoot," Daisya said, grinning.

I smiled back. "What were you doing at a church? And not to mention wearing _suits_."

"Oh. You saw that?"

"Kinda hard not to."

"Hehe, yeah. Well, Froi's friend is the pastor of the church. He invited Froi and the rest of us, in which we were forced to go and get gussied up against our will. And it was completely different from the church that you usually go to. The church we went to was like a funeral party; it was dead on boring."

"Ironically so, it was really crowded," Kanda muttered.

"And what's more, we ran into Kanda's old pals, but that's another story." Daisya waved his hand dismissively, not even noticing Kanda's glare directed onto him.

Finally, we made it to the kitchen. There was a girl older than me kneading dough. When she saw us, she smiled brilliantly. "Hungry kids?" she chirped. It was a cheeriness that reminded me of Lenalee.

"Don't call us kids, Chomesuke!" Daisya complained. "We're the same age, after all!"

The girl laughed and turned to Kanda. "Sorry Kanda, but we don't have soba. I didn't think that you'd be coming today—it's awfully surprising!"

"Che. I was about to leave," he said, and stalked away. I suddenly felt ashamed with Kanda's behavior. He shouldn't be so rude to a girl! Eh, well, he's always rude to me, but he doesn't even consider me as a girl… Am I that boyish looking?

I glanced up to see the expression on the girl, and oddly enough she appeared to be amused. "He hadn't changed since middle school," she giggled. "I wonder if he'll ever grow up. By the way, Daisya, who's the missy?" At least she can tell that I'm female.

"This is Allen, my friend that I told you about."

"Really?" She clapped her hands and her smile grew. "In that case, I better whip up a big lunch! I heard that you had a mighty metabolism."

I nodded, blushing.

"Then I'll get started. By the way, I'm Sachiko, but call me Chomesuke."

We were seated on the balcony, in which we received a nice view of city buildings. It was one of those privileges that rich people get. I should know—Rhode Kamelot dragged me into her fancy home before. Then I almost shuddered at the memory of the sleepover, and what's more was the makeup event. If we ever cross paths, I'm making sure not to bring her into the idea. Ever.

"You know, today was kind of surprising," Daisya said.

"That it was me who got the dead squirrel on your car?" I said.

"Well, yes, but more so that how much Kanda changes whenever you're around."

I took off my cap and scratched my head. "Funny thing is that a friend of mine mentioned the same thing." I put my cap back on and smiled absently. "But the changes are slight obviously. There's no way Kanda would change much because of me—"

Daisya looked at me as if I grew another head. "What? Have you been blind all this time? All day, I had to pretend that there wasn't anything different when Kanda was acting less hostile and was talking a lot more than usual! I mean, you two still fight, but the tensions are considerably friendlier than when we went to the same high school. You've noticed this, right?"

I pressed my lips together. "Um, yes," I agreed. "Though it wasn't as if Kanda altered his personality or anything." Maybe these differences occurred because I changed as well? I do admit that I'm less hotheaded than when I was younger, and perhaps less cynical. I think that has to do with my depression previously.

"You're right, but it was weird. I think that maybe Kanda's got a crush on you."

"Please don't say that. I might get paranoid."

"Don't deny the truth."

I sighed. "What's there to deny? I'm not the one with the possible crush."

"Oh yeah," he laughed.

Kanda? Having a crush? As if the fellow is capable of loving another human being.

* * *

After lunch, I excused myself. Daisya had to persuade me that it was fine for me to leave the cars that I totaled; he said that he would take care of it. "I just wanted to see you mess up," he told me with a snicker. He then said that he would try to visit me during work, but that might be impossible—Link scares him after all. But that was understandable (Link sometimes scares me too).

When I returned home, it had been evening. Timcampy greeted me by landing on my head and nipping on the bill of my cap. "Missed you too, buddy," I said, reaching to scratch him under the beak. I heard Tyki's voice call out, "Did you bring any food?" A grin crossed my features as I called back, "No, sorry." I skipped into his room and added, "But I did have a good day today."

Tyki didn't look up from his typing (for once he seemed serious in his work). "That's good to know. Ready for school?"

I groaned. "Way to ruin the day, Tyki."

He flashed me a smirk. "I'll take it as a no then."

Initially, I would have been determined to start school fresh now that I'm in New York, however with my new job, my new friends, my new (probably) love interest, and my old friend all here, I'm starting to feel…idle. All it takes to drive away my motivation for another day is school. The worries that I had before Tokusa showed me Science Branch Department High returned, and so did that queasy feeling in my gut.

What if I'm not accepted here? What if I'll be picked on just like before? What if I come across someone just like Ashley? Ugh. I'm missing Tokusa's weird talks even though it had only been yesterday since I last heard them.

I then realized that I won't have the time to hear Tokusa's adventurous and fantasy stories, or be ordered around by stingy Link. I won't be able to laugh with Tokusa or insist that he would get his lazy butt moving and help me put away books. I won't be able to poke fun at Link whenever I would sign in for work, and those moments were beginning to become a particular favorite of mine. And now that I think about it, I would be seeing Kanda less too. Sure, learning how to drive is maddening, but…I admit, it was rather fun to be with him. Argh, that sounded inane. Having fun with Kanda? I must be desperate to get out of school to think that having quality time with Kanda is _fun_.

It's not as if I would never see them again. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were the days when I would go back to the library, but being with them just wouldn't be long enough now that I have school hours taking up the time. Furthermore, it's been making me feel restless—in my inability to continue my story I'm burning with irritation. The bright side: I still get to see Tyki just the same. In the morning, evening, and at night, seeing the face of the man who I fell in love with (maybe) is the best of all. Right?

I headed to my bedroom to think. Tim decided to follow me as he fluttered behind me. Jumping onto my bed, I raised my pillow above my head and into my face, sighing. Going to school would be different now that I would have to make new friends there. Daisya would no longer be with me since he's going to university, and that was a disagreeable notion. I would rather have my soccer-loving friend with me at all times. Or maybe Lavi…? I always did hate to admit it but school had been cheerier with the stupid redhead trying to exasperate me.

And then I thought about Kanda.

I didn't know why I thought about him, I just did. "Maybe Kanda's got a crush on you" were the words that came out of Daisya's mouth and it would not stop ringing in my head. I snorted. Okay, so a popular redhead junior with an eye-patch liking a misfit freshman is possible, but a social retard jerkface? Not likely. Definitely not. Kanda is definitely not the person to fall for another human being, and if so, it would be someone like Lenalee, not me.

* * *

It was one of those awkward moments where you're in the superior position whereas the other is inwardly screaming but outwardly trying to remain composure, despite the perspiration trickling all over his face. And in the situation where you are weighed by an unbearable weariness that encourages the feeling of wanting to go home, and yet simultaneously you want to make this moment to your advantage. And in the situation where you know that the other would drop to his knees and beg for mercy, you just don't know when, but he will do it. And perhaps there was that silence …that silence that even the softest clink would cause uproar—a fragile silence.

In my case, I was perfectly fine. No worries. In the man's case, however, he was a goner.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Are you Lenalee's personal stalker?"

Immediately, the man's face was flushed with hives as he blanched. "Gyaaah!" he screamed, causing me to cringe, and he hurried to pick up the scattered pictures. Unfortunately for him, I was holding one picture of Lenalee in a bathing suit (that perverted man), practically waving it in front of his face. He screamed again and lunged forward for it, but I side-stepped and watched him collide into the wall.

"You are a stalker, aren't you?" I said aloud.

"Shush! Shush! Shush!" He scrambled over to me and placed a finger on his lips, then hastily looked around (probably in case of bystanders). He plucked the picture from my hand when I was unaware and tucked it into the folder. "Now, um, go back to class and don't mention this to anyone," he ordered, making a go-away motion.

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you conscious of the wrath of Komui Lee?" I asked.

The man froze, and almost eerily, he turned his head and asked in a stammering voice, "How do you know him?"

I stripped for him once, but one, I'm not telling anyone about that, and two, that was Cross's fault. "How I know him is none of your concern. Anyway, I know Lenalee Lee pretty well too."

The hives on his face seemed to clear, but he became noticeably paler. "O-oh," he said in a tight voice.

"I'm not sure Komui would take it lightly knowing that someone has been stalking his sister," I said, balancing on the balls of my feet.

"N-now, let's not be irrational."

"Very well then. First off, who are you and what relation do you have with the Lee's?"

Yeah, it was one of those awkward moments, but at least I'm not the one in the sore position.

It was ironic how this would happen to me on my first day of school. During class, I raised my hand to be excused to the bathroom, was walking peacefully there, and crashed into a teacher (or is he?) who seemed to be in a hurry. Whatever was in his folder flew out and scattered on the floor, so being the good student that I am I was about to pick them up until I saw that they were pictures of Lenalee.

When he introduced himself as Bak (rather nervously), I realized that this was the man who puked on Madarao. (LIKE NO WAY!)

"You know Madarao?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Gyaaah!" he screamed, looking horrified. "How do you know everyone!"

Boy, this guy loves to bloody scream.

"Tokusa told me a story about—"

"Ga—ga—gaaagyaaah! You know _Tokusa_!"

"…"

Bak was backing up so much that he was against the wall. His feet, however, did not understand that he could not go any farther because they kept moving. "You—you kn-know…" he babbled. "B-but how?"

"We work in the same library," I answered carefully.

"Oh, I see—wait, so you know Link?"

I nodded.

"GYAAAH!"

What was wrong with this guy! Why does he have a fetish for Lenalee and screaming? Why does he get scared about me knowing these people? Why is he so nervous? Being nervous when someone knows your secret is understandable, but this is downright ridiculous! And he's a teacher for goodness sake! And just what is wrong with his _face_? It keeps breaking into sweat and hives. It's like a bad horror movie.

"Mr. Bak, please calm down," I said, trying not to sigh out of exasperation. "Take a deep breath."

He did so, finally relaxing. "I'm sorry, it's just that…I…"

I nodded.

"I…"

"Yes?"

"I…need to go! Good day!"

"W-wait, what!"

And before I could make a move to run after him, a girl came out of nowhere and kicked him squarely in the face. Bak flew from the force of the kick, landing against the wall again, only more violently, and slid down onto the floor. I could see a trail of blood after his head.

"Stupid Bak," the girl scoffed, flicking her hair.

"Damn it, Fou!" cried Bak, clutching his bloody nose. "You can't do that to the great me!"

I was considering whether I should stay and demand Bak's reason of stalking my friend or leave with what sanity I had left. Unfortunately (for me this time), I wasn't given either option.

* * *

**Fangirl12232 asks:** Are you going to make Lavi fall in love with Allen?

**Smiles answers:** Only if I get 203 reviews before I make my 11th chapter :D. Otherwise, it'll take some time before Lavi's appearance.

**A friend who reads the story asks:** Are you seriously going to make Lavi fall in love with Allen if you receive that many reviews…? Isn't that selfish?

**Smiles answers:** Listen, I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH A LOT! Now I'm going to sulk in the corner of my room and not update for two more years... Okay, okay, actually I'll do what I can to make my readers happy, even if it means making Lavi love Allen again. Even…Even if it means that I won't get my 203 reviews!

Hmmm…There aren't any more questions from other reviewers except for fangirl12232, who is a FANTASTIC reviewer. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! But sadly, I'm not going to make Lavi gay for Tyki...maybe. And thank you to those you reviewed my story as well! And thank you to those who bothered reading my story and not bothered reviewing!


	11. Strange Day

**Edition To My Heart**

**SMILES SAYS:** I think that I abused Bak too much in this chapter…Oh, and I don't own DGM, DUR.

* * *

I was kind of dozing off after the thirty minutes of watching Bak pace to and fro, from one end of the room to the other. There really wasn't anything else to do than to watch this man pace and rub his chin in a serious manner, which was rather silly because he was far from capable of being level-headed and deliberate—my experience the half an hour prior to now. Occasionally, he would give me these sudden glances (I feared whiplash) and later resume to his chin-rubbing, frowning routine, and at this I would wonder what was he thinking in that head of his (I bet he was pretending to be serious the whole time).

I repositioned my seat (because my left butt-cheek was starting to go numb) and looked at the clock. Great…I get thrown into the principal's office (I think) with nothing to do and miss out my classes. Was this really happening to me? All I did was point out that Bak was a stalker—because he really was one! Anyway, was he a teacher? Should teachers be doing this to students?

"I've got it!" he suddenly exclaimed, causing me to jump.

Whatever he had 'got it'…erm, well, it certainly brought that woman's attention. The small Asian lady from earlier kicked the door open and leapt into the air (it was almost like in slow motion!) and thrust her leg against the man's cheek. This sent him flying against the wall (just like last time) and scream bloody murder.

"Fou!" he cried, caressing his bruised face. "Stop doing that!"

"Well it's about time you come up with something!" she shouted back. "Do you know how fucking long I had to wait there? Huh? It was like five fucking hours!"

It would be wise not to correct her.

His face was erupted with blotches (hives I bet) and turned into a furious red. "You didn't have to give me the boot to get your point across, you know!"

"Shut your trap and get on with it," she snapped flippantly and then plopped herself on the couch.

"Hmmph." Bak turned his nose away from her. After, I don't know, a second or two, he imitated an evil scientist with a sinister scheme to take control over a city—he even got the hand-rubbing, dark chuckling thing going on. "Okay, so here's the plan."

I would be lying that Fou and I weren't leaning forward in our seats, anticipating. Sadly, our curiosity had gone to waste when he announced, "I'll _pay_ the young lady not to tell."

There was one part of me that would have slapped itself on the forehead. This was more ridiculous than the time I was somehow moved up two grades and landed in Lavi and Kanda's classroom (yes, that was ridiculous…and bizarre).

Another part of me had the urge to make a derisive comment that would put Kanda and Tokusa into shame—okay, I was joking about that, there's _no way_ that anyone can be more mordantly harsh than them. I, apparently, happen to know these kinds of people, namely those two.

The last part of me would have eagerly accepted the money. Why? It's sort of…a habit, I'd say, and it's money _without_ the labor. Well, it's like this: charity = decrease in Cross's debts = increase in food + payment for bills = Allen's happiness. Though I _probably_ don't have to worry about Cross sending me his debts, being critically penny-wise is a nasty habit to get out of.

Anyway, the point was that Fou had a very different reaction than what I could have expressed.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING ALL THIS TIME!" she screeched while doing another, if not brutal, high kick at Bak's face.

That could have been suspected coming from her, but her voice was ._Loud_! I'm sure Tokyo had an earthquake just right now.

While Fou continued to blow Bak's ears out and shaking him by the neck, I watched the show for a minute before clearing my throat and gaining their attention. If I may add, as Fou was shaking Bak so vigorously, the blood that was dribbling down to his chin flew into different directions. Alrighty then.

"Um, was that _really_ what you came up with?" I asked.

"Tch. He was daydreaming about Lenalee all this time, I'm sure of it," Fou sneered, getting off of the man.

"W-was not!" Bak protested.

"You're breaking out again," I pointed out.

"GYAAAH! Don't look at me!"

Again, time flew by we waited for him to calm down. Thank God it took him ten minutes instead of thirty.

"Now then," he began, as if he never had his weird moment, "how about it."

"No," came my answer.

"What? Why?" he cried, obviously distressed.

How should I put this? "Stalking and taking pictures of Lenalee is not only disgusting but illegal. However old you are, you should be reported." Because I once knew a ten-year-old who pursued Ashley—the girl who often picked on me and dump coffee on my head in my old school—and was nearly sent to children detention center. Oh wait, that's not so bad…I think. Well, comparing to actual prison and all.

"He's thirty-one," Fou said.

"Holy Saint Francis!" I gasped (and accidentally used a line from _Romeo and Juliet_). "Have you no shame, sir?"

Bak looked away. "Umm…"

"No, don't talk. You don't deserve to. Mister, she's _seventeen_. You're _thirty-one_, for goodness sakes! _Thirty-one._ She's seventeen and you think that—"

"She's going for eighteen so she'll be legal soon!" he put in.

Scrunching my nose, I frowned down at his kneeling self. "Indeed she is. And now how on earth do you know that?"

"Umm…"

"Because he's a pedophile and a stalker," Fou snorted.

"Fou!" Bak cried, flailing his arms.

I wonder how much of Lenalee's personal information does he know. I wonder what other hobbies he have—oh good grief NO. I take it back! I don't want to wonder about it anymore!

"Well then," I coughed into my fist, "as a witness, it's my duty to report this to the person who would need to know this the most."

The man's face was becoming pale as his eyes went wide. "N-no…"

"I'm sure this person would be most surprised." Definitely surprised.

"No! Anything but that! No!"

"I'm going to call Komui."

"Nooooo!"

The small woman narrowed her eyes at me, but I could tell that she was curious. "So you know Komui, huh?"

"Yup. I have his number and such."

"'Such'?"

"He gave me some sort of manual in case if Lenalee ever gets injured."

"Tch. Figures."

Bak crawled up to me, grabbing my ankle. "Please! I beg of you! He'll skin me alive if he knows!" he cried some more.

I shook my head. "You must atone for your sins, or, uh, something that sounds old-like." I pulled my foot away and walked to the door. "Now I must be off for class. Farewell."

At the moment I had the song _We're In Heaven_ playing in my head before going for the doorknob. However, what stopped me was the shrill shout of him saying "Wait!", and so I did. I faced him, blinking.

"You're—you're a student, right?" he said.

"Yes…"

"Ah hah! Then unless you keep it a secret, you are hereby suspended."

What? "What?"

"You heard me."

"But—but you can't do this to me! That's completely unfair!"

"I'm the principal and what I say goes."

Who would have figured…that this pedophile/stalker/crybaby/acquaintance of Tokusa (that was important to know) before me would be principal—let me repeat, _principal_ of my new school.

Why God? Why did this have to happen to me?

"But I'm the new student," I said.

"New student?" He paused. "You couldn't be Allen Walker…Allen Walker is not a transfer student from—from—from whatever nation you come from!"

"You really couldn't tell that I'm English?" I deadpanned.

"Hey, almost everyday I'm surrounded by a rainbow of people with accents from here and there. Try dealing with _that_."

True…Also Tokusa does have a peculiar accent that cannot be indentified…

"Okay, anyway, I am indeed Allen Walker and I have lived in America for the majority of my life."

"Fou?"

Fou whipped out a clipboard that came out of the blue and examined whatever was on it. "Let's see…Walker, Walker, Walker, Walker…Ah, here it is. Allen Walker. Yeah, looks just like her."

"So Walker isn't a transfer student."

"Nope."

"Nope," I agreed.

"Oh. Hmmm. Well, you're still suspended."

"Fine then," I grumbled, "I'll just leave this school, go to a _better_ one, and tell Komui that you've been stalking his sister."

"No can do."

I frowned. "And why not?"

Bak, for the first time, grinned (I think this would be considered to be his kind of moment). "Last time I checked, Allen Walker was looking forward to what the Science Branch Department can offer." He took the clipboard and did a little reading. "Ah, and it says here that Allen Walker dreams to go to a university and be successful."

Pressing my lips together, I nodded slowly.

"Oh brother," Fou muttered.

"This school, if you don't know, is one of the well-known academic institutes of the North-Eastern U.S."

"How well-known," I tested.

"The _best_."

What? "What?"

"You heard me."

I sure did, now if only he would elaborate more, that would be fantastic. What did he mean that this school was the best? Best at what? I'm aware that it served greater education than any other places, but wasn't this simply a regular public school?

"Most of our students graduated and went to Black Order University," Fou said, rolling her eyes.

Hot dog! That's where everyone went to!

"Of course! You would know it since you know Tokusa," Bak said. "Did he ever tell you how great that university is?"

Yeah…he did…

"Fine then," I grumbled, "I won't leave this school and keep your secret."

"How will I know that you're not lying to me?" he said.

I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again, then closed it again. "Why would I…N-never mind," I sighed, rubbing my temple. "Then make a contract."

"How will I know that you'll be lying to the contract?"

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"I'm wasting my time here," Fou exclaimed angrily. "I'm leaving." And she marched out of the room.

Bak remained unfazed. "I suppose that you can do me one itsy bitsy favor…"

I missed him groveling at my feet. "Yes?"

"Since you have an acquaintanceship with Komui," he said, going to the folder that had those many pictures of Lenalee, "I need you to deliver him this." Bak handed me an envelope from the folder. There was a cursive writing that particular for Komui Lee with no "from so-and-so".

"You're not going to put your name here?" I asked.

"Feh! I'll stay anonymous," he said.

"Very well then." I held the envelope between two fingers and raised an eyebrow. "And how am I supposed to reach him?"

"You don't know?" When I shook my head, he frowned. "Then how did you get to know him? Accidental pen pals?"

"Oh no, I used to go to the same high school as Lenalee and we became friends. She then took me to her place one day, and that's when I met her brother." And unexpected things occurred there. "Afterwards, they moved somewhere."

"Mmhmm. And have you two kept in touch very much?"

"No, however, I still hold possession of their numbers and e-mails."

I could clearly hear him mutter "Blasted" under his breath.

"I do know where they are," Bak said. "They're in Phoenix, Arizona."

My brows furrowed. "Hold up, that's like…several states from New York," I said.

"Yeah it is! You'll need a plane to get there."

"Why can't you just mail this?" I asked, lifting the envelope to him.

"No, no, no. You don't understand," he chuckled somewhat nervously. "This has to be hand-delivered. No matter what."

"But…How am I going to get a ticket for a plane?"

"I'll provide that for you."

"Wh-what about my classes? I'll be missing a lot!"

"I'll have an excellent teacher give you private lessons. You'll catch up in no time."

"Then—Surely I'll need a place to stay. What if I can't find them? Can't you be more specific on their location?"

"I'll give you enough money. And don't you have their numbers?"

"Well, yes. But what if they question me of doing this? Do I say it's from you?"

"No, no! I said before that I want to stay anonymous, didn't I? Just say that…you're doing an errand!"

"An errand," I repeated dryly.

"Yes, yes! An errand! Don't mention my name when you see the Lee's." I had plenty more questions, but Bak made it clear that he wasn't going to answer anymore. "Now then," he said, clapping his hands together, "with that settled, you should get packing! I'll inform your guardian, Tyki Mikk, was it?"

"What will you say?"

"Something simple, like you have been temporarily transferred to another state for an educational encroachment in which we will observe the divergence of students away from their usual environment."

He…said it so fast that I…"…What?"

He sighed. "A student exchange program."

"Oh." That made sense.

"Nice. So off you go! I excuse you to go packing as I make that phone-call." Bak pushed me to the door.

"W-wait! How am I going to go to an airport?" I asked with haste.

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Huh?"

With a final shove, I was out the room. "By the way, Miss Walker," he said before closing the door, "by the time you return, please get that tattoo removed off your face."

I scowled. To think that my scar was finally disappearing!

* * *

"Isn't this a bit too sudden? I mean, you're the new kid and already they have you in this exchange program," Tyki said.

I rubbed my neck. "Yeah. Huh." I wasn't _lying_, but I knew that my expression was totally giving it away. It was really fortunate that Tyki was looking away. Not to mention that I'm a horrible liar regarding to the time with me, Daisya, and fourth graders. Oh, what a time that was.

"This certainly had taken things unexpectedly," he muttered.

I looked up. "What do you mean?"

"It's pretty ironic that you're suddenly going to another state when just so recently we've been settling here, another state."

"It hasn't been _that_ recent."

"Yeah, just a couple weeks." He shrugged. "And again, I shall remind you that you're the new kid."

I smiled, bringing Tim to my lap. "Thank you for the reminder."

"I shall also inform you of my opinion."

"And what shall your opinion be, sir?"

"That this is all too strange." Tyki rested his chin on his knuckle. "Like that time when that blonde lady came here. Say, what's this program's name anyway?"

My smile was beginning to hurt. "Beats me."

"Now what am I supposed to say to Bart?" he sighed.

The hurting had gone away as I erupted into giggles. "Ah, our dear son? Tell him that Mommy is going for an impermanent business transfer."

"But what if Bart misses Mommy too much? What then?"

"Hmm," I hummed, tapping my chin. "That would be a problem. What do you supposed we do, Papa?"

"I'd say I'd give my boy a good father n' son time. Man to man, you know?" He gave me a funny lopsided grin, causing me to laugh loudly. "I'll also try to teach him how to do Mommy's ever-so cute accent, but I don't think I'll do so well seeing how I'm Portuguese."

I hid my growing smile behind my sleeve. "You think my accent's cute?"

"You know how much I love ya, ya Brit," he chuckled.

The fun ended, much to my sadness, was when Tyki frowned and mentioned, "What about your job?"

"Oh no," I gasped, "I've forgotten!"

"Do you know how long you'll be away?"

I shook my head.

"Then…I guess I'll take over for you."

"Tyki, you don't have to."

"No, it's alright. My current job can wait; it's kind of slow and dull anyway."

We spent the whole day packing, which shouldn't have taken so long but with all the goofing off it ended up wasting all our hours. We joked about getting Bartholomew a sister (it was a debate on whether the sister should be a cactus or a small palm tree). As we talked about whether I could try to bring Tim along the trip, Tim chirped and squawked and tweeted. Tyki commented about the same hybrid theory again.

"I would be so lonely without him though," Tyki joked.

"Alright, alright. Anyway, I highly doubt that I'll be able to bring Tim along," I sniffed. "He's grown much too big to be stuffed in the bag."

"Oh man, I remembered that. When he came out, boy was he cranky."

"Yeah, that's why I'm leaving him here," I laughed.

Night came sooner than we had expected. Tyki offered to give me a ride to the airport, but that would just give away the secret. When there, he would be expecting to see teachers and other students, wouldn't he? It would be best if I declined, but how would I reach my destination?

…Oh, wait, I could do that. Yeah, I cam definitely do that.

"That's alright, Tyki," I said, tugging on my cap, "I already got a ride."

* * *

It really shouldn't have taken us all night just to pack seeing how what I needed could be easily stored inside my backpack, but it was heavy nevertheless (I didn't like it how the straps were digging into my shoulders, but what can I do?) I exhaled through my nose and looked up for the sixth time. I know that just staring at it won't make it disintegrate and make this easier, but this wall was monstrously tall.

Taking a glance at my right, there was the black metal gate that was just as big as the wall. It would be a dicey take to climb over the gate since it's probable that there was a guard standing, so there was no other choice than to go over this barrier. And yes, I used to do this when Cross was around—he'd make me do dangerous stunts occasionally.

I took a couple steps back before running and making a jump. From there, I grappled a vine that grew against the wall and quickly stepped up and grabbed another vine before the one previous in my hand would snap. It was really fortunate that these plants were here; otherwise I would have to climb up the tree nearby and make a mighty leap, in which could cause me bone-fractures.

Hearing my panting made me painfully aware that I was out of shape. I used to be much more flexible, but I guess that because of my depression I did nothing but sit and eat. I wasn't sure if I can still hold up a fight…Well…at least I made it.

I sat on the wall and scanned the area, and immediately my eyes spot the lot. Perfect. Climbing down, avoiding the lightings from windows, and running to the lot was a cinch. The only problem was how I was going to break into one of the cars.

Oh duh.

Digging into my pocket, I pulled out a clip. A minute later, I succeeded forming it into a makeshift key, and normally this would give me entrance to any door depending on how I jam it in the lock.

And it turned out that I didn't even need the key! Why?

"I figured as much." Kanda, wielding a flashlight, walked up to me. "The nun of a sprout can't be truly holy."

That's why.

"Hi," I said, being very, very, very glum at the moment.

"So, out stealing cars, eh?" I swore I can hear a smirk creeping in that tone of his. "Didn't know this was a hobby of yours."

"I wasn't going to steal," I protested. I whipped out a note. "I was going to put an IOU!"

"Whatever. You'd be stealing anyway."

I threw my hands in the air and let out an aggravated groan. What point would it be to ague with _Kanda_?

"What are you doing up so late?" I asked, trying to change the topic. It was to my relief that he went along with it, but it was to my disappointment that he had to be so infuriating.

Here's why: "What are _you_ doing up so late?"

"I asked you first," I said tersely.

"I asked you second." With the flashlight, I could see that his eyes were narrowed and there indeed was a smirk on his face. Gah.

"Since I asked _first_, it would be only logical that you answered _first_."

"Who said that I played by the rules?"

I really didn't know how to answer to that.

"You are so—Argh!" I smacked my forehead.

"Seriously, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Yeah, Allen! Why were you going to steal my car?"

My eyes went wide. "Daisya?"

"Daisya?" Kanda hissed. "Shouldn't you be in bed or something?"

"I saw you come down so I wanted to see what was going on." He shrugged. "Oh, and Chomsuke came too."

"Heyo!" the girl said from behind.

"Hell no, you brought her along?" Kanda growled.

"No! She followed me!"

"I did!" the cook piped.

"Get the fuck out of here," he deadpanned.

"Hey, you can't order me around like that anymore—I'm a man now," Daisya said proudly.

"C he. Last time I checked, your—"

I don't know how she suddenly appeared by my side, but once she did Chomesuke quickly had her hands on my ears, preventing me from hearing anything. All I saw was Kanda and Daisya entering an argument, and it looked rather childish. Like…they were comparing sizes of their toy fire trucks…or something like that.

Once they stopped, they were glaring at each other. Chomsuke pulled her hands away and sighed. "Men…"

"He started it," they snapped simultaneously.

They probed me of my reason to "steal" Daisya's car. And so I explained. It went briefly like this:

"Why were you going to steal the car?" for the millionth time.

"I have to go to the airport and this was the only idea I had for transportation." It sounded smarter when I said it in my head.

"Che. That's stupid." Yes, thank you for pointing that out, Kanda.

"Why do you need to go there?"

"I have to send a letter to my principal's friend, otherwise I'll be suspended."

"Why not go to a different school?"

"It's a high quality school!"

"Geek."

"Her brain functions that way." Daisya had known me too well…

Obviously, the conversation would be much longer and complex, and that Chomesuke would say something as well. Also Kanda wouldn't have talked so much seeing how he's the silent kind of person.

Well, anyway…

Minutes later, I found myself in a car with Daisya, Kanda, and Chomesuke.

As I looked back, I realized that this had been a strange day. My principal turned out to be a pervert who was prone to being pummeled by a woman prone to being irate 24/7, and said man forced me to deliver a letter to Komui who was all the way in Arizona. I also noticed that I had been _flirting_ with Tyki, and he did so back to me. And now, Kanda, Daisya, and Chomesuke decided to accompany on my trip just because they were _bored_.

The strangest of all was that I was okay how everything went.

* * *

RANDOM VERSE OF THE DAY

_Psalm 106:3_

_Happy are those who deal justly with others and always do what is right _

* * *

**OMAKE**

"Hey, Allen," Tokusa called.

Allen looked up. "Yes?"

"What is this?" He pointed to the thing.

"I already told you, that's Timcampy."

Timcampy was busy cleaning his feathers.

"I know that, but _what_ is it?"

"…Um, he's a bird."

Tokusa frowned and focused on Tim, as if trying to see if the creature really did resemble a bird. "I don't see it."

"What do you not see?" the girl said.

"This being a bird. It looks more like a…"

"A…?"

"A rat," he said in finality.

"…" Allen glanced at Tim, who very much so did _not_ appear that of a rodent. At least in her eyes. "I don't see it."

"Really?" Tokusa hummed, rubbing his chin. "Hmm, and I thought the tail and whiskers were obvious."

Whiskers? "Tokusa," she said, "what kind of rat would have feathers? And be yellow? And have a beak?"

He shrugged. "I never would have thought that it would be possible for a turtle or snake to have two heads. Or a calf to have additional limbs hanging on its back. Or a nine-year-old to have a six-pack."

Allen raised an eyebrow.

"You should look it up. It was rather horrifying," he piped, smiling cheerfully.

"Uh…"

"However, that doesn't mean it didn't happen. So it could be possible that a rat could be as freakish as this." He pointed at Tim.

Well, it was true that Tim was, to put it frankly, a freak of nature. He had exaggerated parts that would want to make a passerby look thrice to make sure he or she wasn't hallucinating. But there was no way that Timcampy would be mistaken as a rat! A miniature piglet, Allen understood that, but rat? No, no, no way.

"Tim's a _bird_," she said firmly.

"Rat," he snorted.

"Bird."

"Rat."

"Bird!"

"Rat."

"Bird!"

"Rat!"

"Bir—Am I seriously doing this?"

"Oh look, there's Inspector!" Tokusa waved the blonde man to come over. "Inspector! Inspector!"

"What is it now, Tokusa?" Link sighed.

"Tell me, is this a rat or a bird?"

"Obviously it's a bird!" Allen retorted.

"Now, now, Miss Walker, let's not be hasty."

"Hasty with what?"

Link narrowed his eyes, not hearing a word that they were saying when his eyes landed on Tim. "Why is there a cat in my library?"

"Mrrow," Tim mewed.


	12. Epic Adventure Start: Spiritual Highway

**DISCLAIMER:** No own DGM. DUR.

* * *

It had come to my attention that I'm one of the most moronic morons in the history of morons.

Because I was late to realize it.

"What have I done?" I whimpered. "What have I done?"

Seated on my left was none other than Kanda (how ironic). I don't even know how this happened or why Daisya and Chomesuke were sitting together in a different aisle; all I know was that as my unfortunate being is currently pressed against the wall of the plane, a man of murderous intentions occupies a seat besides mine. If I were to manage breaking this window that my cheek is smothering, I would plummet more than ten meters, yes? I repeat: Kanda is sitting next to me.

"Shut. Up." He hissed and gave me a look of murderous intentions. Falling over ten meters doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

"You shut up," I snapped back before resuming my chant of oppression. "What have I done?"

I've been keeping this up for twenty-six minutes, according to my watch. Whatever reason behind this can only be divided into three:

1. I left my Bible at home. Enough said.

2. Because I was mentally and physically tired, I allowed three college kids to accompany me. _What_ was I thinking? Oh yeah, I wasn't thinking at all—I was completely out of it yesterday. But anyway, I know for a fact that I should be seeing the brighter picture of things so I wouldn't hinder my health like before (and also because God wouldn't like it if I'm being negative, and being negative would suck me back to depression most likely); however, I can't help but suffer from this.

Despite me not being lonesome during this stupid trip, there are things I'm not going to bode well with: Kanda (a no-brainer on that one), Daisya's mockery of me being held back two grades (he's actually making me feel dumb), Chomesuke's constant nudgings whenever Kanda calls me beansprout (frankly, both cause are annoying), and them altogether saying "I cannot believe you're really doing this" along with the snide comment from Kanda "I'd never thought you could get this desperate, beansprout." I would say I hate them, but that would mean that I would want to murder them; murderous intentions rightfully belong to Kanda—DISCLAIMER!

3. I FLIRTED WITH TYKI YESTERDAY.

!

Yeah, well, me thinking that I was okay with me _flirting_ with _him_? I take it back. Way back. I'm not okay with it at all. Not at all. Nope.

I must've been _perfectly_ fine at that time since I was _completely out of it_, but now I'm fully awake I'm in distress.

UGH.

This was worse than the moment when Kanda (of course him) and Daisya were wasting an hour of my life by accusing me of stealing Daisya's car. I would never do such thing! It would go against everything that I believe in! Additionally, I was going to _borrow_—I repeat, BORROW the car and put into use of the driving knowledge that Kanda had drilled into me (in which might not have been such a great idea). I was even going to return it by the time I'm back from Arizona.

But whatever.

Back to Tyki—I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't care if he woke up that morning and thought "Oh, hey, I flirted with Allen." Oh to hey with it—he might not even consider it as flirting! I mean, what can I expect? The man is nearly a decade older than me and probably sees me nothing more than a little girl…

Right, good job there, Al. Way to keep up with positivity.

But really, no one would look at any ten-years-younger person as a lover. _I_ wouldn't take a six-year-old seriously (then again, six-year-olds can never be taken seriously). Although…I wouldn't know unless I give it a go. Confessing, I mean.

…

Yeah, that'll never happen.

Because this is such a new thing for me, I'll never know how to approach it! First off, who would've thought that I would fall for Tyki? Well, I must admit that I was aware of him being quite the looker, heh heh. And it would have seem that he is my very, very first crush (I'm pretty sure) since I skipped that stage and moved onto love with Lavi and…that person. Having a crush on someone feels so complicated yet natural.

I despise it.

But what can I do?

Nothing really, I suppose. I mean, there might be a day where my feelings would linger no more and I'll see Tyki as a friend, not the fellow who I'm madly in love with (don't take that phrase with seriousness, folks). However, till that day comes, I'll remain as Tyki's secret admirer watching close and afar.

…

UGH. Lame.

Anyway, if I were to be someone else, I'm sure that I would have been thrilled how much progress had developed. If meaningless dallying could be considered as progress. I'm sure it wouldn't make sense for me to be distraught about the outcomes of yesterday, and I'm not regarding about Bak and stuff; on the subject of how I harbor romantic interests towards Tyki, yesterday's advances should toll as "HIP HIP HOORAY!" for me. But then I would be going back to the Tyki-only-sees-me-as-a-kid concept again. And again. And again.

I mainly feel distraught because it was embarrassing for me. There, I said it. Oh, and that same embarrassment is also covering the other times Tyki and I joked around. I don't know why, but I felt embarrassed when I recalled those moments. And yes, I really did blush about it.

I strangely feel the need to slam myself against the window so that I may shatter it and plummet more than ten meters. So I did. (Without the shattering.)

"What are you? An idiot?" Kanda said.

"A moron, actually." Because I was late to realize it.

"Right." He rolled his eyes. "And just how many depression pills did you take?"

"Kanda, I haven't taken one ever since last year," I informed. "Besides, I've taken so much that it's practically in my bloodstream."

"I can tell. Since that day when we met in church."

Oh yeah, I remember that. Sigh. Good times.

* * *

"For the love of Big Ben," Daisya cried (gotta give him credit for censoring himself), "why is it so flippin' hot?"

"That's how Arizona is," Chomesuke said. "Mighty different compared to New York, eh?"

"Indeed," I agreed.

"Gah…it was snowing back there…I miss the snow…" Daisya sighed, hanging his head.

I forgot how much I missed my childhood friend and his whining. In fact, I missed him so much that I'll do something amazing!

I walked up to him and smacked him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for, Allen?"

"I missed you!" I hugged his torso.

"…"

"Last year, she ate more than enough depression pills that it had gotten into her bloodstream, or so she says," I heard Kanda mutter, "Apparently, the chemicals are reacting now. Che."

"Kanda, why would she tell you abou—D-d-depression pills?" I felt hands grab my shoulders and yank me off so that I'm facing a worried Daisya. "Oh my gosh, Al—"

"Hate to interrupt, but this isn't really the right time," Chomesuke said lightly.

It sure wasn't. People were looking at us like we're freaks.

And so we found available benches where we could finally settle down and place our bags by. Chomesuke, for some odd reason, shot me a disapproving (I think) glare before ushering an unwilling Kanda to the nearest store to buy maps and snacks and the like, leaving me and Daisya alone.

I looked down at my feet, slipping one out of its sneaker and checking its underside. Funny how sore feet can get despite sitting in the plane for hours.

"Allen." Daisya handed me the tube of sunscreen.

"Thanks," I said, taking it.

"Allen," he said again, sounding remorseful, "about what Kanda said…"

"Save it." I squirted the white substance into the palm of my hand and rubbed both hands together. "I was being silly due to the heat. There's nothing to worry about."

He gave me a dry look. "Uh, Al, this _is_ something to worry about."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No."

"Yes."

"Daisya."

"Allen."

I huffed. "What if I told you that Kanda was joking about it?"

He folded his arms. "Then let's hear it."

Um, wasn't expecting that.

"Ah hah, thought so. And FYI, Kanda doesn't joke. Ever." Yeah, I thought so. "So what's the deal with these depression pills I've been hearing about?"

Curse you, Yuu Kanda.

"I'm telling you," I groaned, "this isn't something…It's not exactly…It's not _important_."

"You're right. This is something extremely important."

"I hate it when you do that."

"Allen," he said.

"Very well." I scowled while spreading the sunscreen onto my knees. "I might as well let the cat out of the bag. Yes, I did take depression pills; and yes, I sometimes happen to take more than enough. I'm not really sure if the chemicals are in my bloodstream, but…there are times where I behave excessively silly."

"For how long did you take them?"

Ever since he left me. "Ever since everyone moved away." I watched as his expression melted into a pensive one.

"Oh man."

"I was lonely, simple as that," I mumbled absent-mindedly, swinging my legs and putting on more sunscreen. "And I never did fit in with those at school."

"Wait, so you being held back…"

"Was from me skipping lessons." Forcing an empty smile, I said, "On the bright side, most sophomores are sixteen."

Yeah, so much for being a star genius.

"On the brighter side," I added, "Ashley doesn't go to Noah Academy and stopped going to Starbucks, so life wasn't as tough."

"But tough enough for you to take pills."

"Yeah."

He pressed his lips together before asking, "Who was Ashley again?" I must've looked at him funny because he sputtered, "What?"

"Ashley used to be this slut—well, I shouldn't say that word anymore," I mumbled at the end. Apparently, 'slut' is a bad word that I've been using for quite a while and had no idea how vulgar it is. Whoopsies. "Anyway, Ashley used to be this girl who picked on me and dumped coffee on my head, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Realization dawned on him—I could see it from the small smile twitching its way from the corners of his mouth. "I remember how hot-tempered you were and how all the employees had to restrain you before you got the chance to strangle her. You mellowed out." He smiled sadly. "Was it from the overdose of depression pills?"

I laughed, though it sounded mirthless. "Yup. That and Tyki."

He blinked. "Tyki?" he parroted.

"You forgot about him too?"

"No, I remember Tyki…But…what did he do?"

And so I told him. It was roughly like what I told Miss Nine, but I made sure to keep away from hinting my feelings for Tyki. As I told him, I began to wonder about certain things…They were questions that I had before: Why did Tyki move out of the Earl Estate? Could it really be about wanting independence? Doesn't seem likely, well, to me that is. And what exactly does he work so furiously on that laptop of his? And why did he let me visit him so frequently? Because we were bordering on best buddies? Because I made sure he didn't starve himself and that I clean up his apartment? Because he happened to enjoy my spaghetti?

_What am I thinking askance_? I'm being ridiculous. I guess the heat is driving me to insanity to be suspecting Tyki of all people. I mean, though it does seem straight-forward for anyone to let a girl with emotional adversity come and go in a man's place and not rouse him (ignoring the detail of Tyki being lethargic at times and could care less), it is not much of a situation to be dealt with. I had a history with him because of Rhode. Because of Rhode, Tyki and I met, Tyki and I became acquaintances, and Tyki and I became friends. And because of Rhode's absence, misery came and slapped me hard in the face. It was Rhode's uncle who found me and patched up my metaphorical wounds with metaphorical bandaging. Our relationship grew from then on.

Um, I'm not really sure what to call our relationship now. Like how I mentioned before, best buddies? Soon-to-be girlfriend and boyfriend? Never-to-be coupled because I'm afraid of destroying our friendship by confessing in which will make him see me as a weirdo? Yeah, best buddies sound better.

Yep, we're best buddies, and it certainly didn't seem strange to me when my best buddy asked me to go to New York with him. Nonetheless, it does seem a tad awkward for a friend to like a friend beyond the line of friendship, does it? And there are things to be concerned about; for example: Should I tell him or should I not tell him?

"Allen, before Tyki helped you out, did you pray?"

Something went blank…in my brain. Like, the malfunctioning up there. "Eh?"

"Well…when we were runts, you would always try to shove Christianity down my throat…and I can kinda see why." He scratched his head underneath his trademark hat. "I've bought this Bible during my road-trip to New York because it reminded me of you and figured that I should try reading it. At first I had a skeptic point of view, like 'If Adam and Eve happened, then what about dinosaurs? Didn't that age occur _before_ mankind?' So I asked around, you know, here and there, and I soon learned that these scientists were doing research and discovered that on the skeleton of a dinosaur—I don't recall what kind—the DNA was still there! Even though it had been preserved in ice, the bacteria wouldn't survive for so long if it were to be true about dinosaurs roaming the earth _way_ back."

"I _told_ you!" I said, irritated that he never believed me when we were children. "Dinosaurs existed back when mankind was still there!"

"Hey, hey," he said, holding his hand up. "I didn't know! I was a methodical kid back then."

"Yeah, and you were rather firm on the belief that dragons were real," I deadpanned.

"And turns out that I was right: in the Bible, the dinosaurs were the dragons."

"What the—It was the fantastical dragons you dreamed about all the time, Daisya!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did. The one with the princesses and knights and dwarves and _dragons_."

"…"

"And what did I tell you about the Dead Sea Scrolls? _What did I tell you_?"

"Anyway," he coughed into his fist, "the point is that I'm converted. I think."

Took him long enough. "I'm so happy for you. So how is this relevant to the question previously?"

"Because you would know how understanding I'm being," he grumbled. "I'm saying, for me, when I pray, what I wish for never happens instantaneous or anything, but I feel hopeful and reassured. I can really feel Jesus in my life, you know? So I'm asking you, did you or did you not pray to God?"

I know that people would roll their eyes at this—happened to me a lot, even Cross when I mentioned it to him. When they hear the word 'prayer', they would think "Pray to whom? Pray about what? What's the point?" because they do not know the significance of it. Prayer is a big deal in a Christian's life because it is one of the ways of how we can connect to God, Jesus, and I think the Holy Spirit too. I would know, and Daisya would know that I know since I used to badger him about it, and in return he would tease me for being a religious freak—or something like that. So…it came as a shocker for me to hear those words come out of his mouth.

"I…" My lips left me trailing. I don't know what to say.

Was that a patient look on Daisya's face!

Okay, okay, okay okay…Something is telling me that I'm in a spiritual crisis. I don't think so, but what he said…Have I really been neglecting God? Now that I think about it, I haven't been up to date with my prayers back then. But it's weird—when there were difficult times I would definitely need the Lord.

"Maybe you momentarily forgot God as you spent your days with Tyki," Daisya suggested.

No, that can't be it, was what I wanted to say but couldn't. How can I be so sure? I could've done anything, really. I could've lost faith in Him due to my seemingly forever anguish. That or…I really have forgotten about Him whilst my days with Tyki. I was distracted probably…

What was it?

I never got the chance to answer, not because of Chomesuke suddenly popping by and singing a "Hey! Look what we got!" (And her shrilly voice did, in fact, blow my ear drums.) But…because I didn't know how to answer. Actually, I didn't know at all.

I knew nothing.

* * *

"No, we should get this one!"

"You got to be kidding me! This?"

"Heck yeah!"

"No way, Chome." Daisya stomped his foot down. "We're getting this one."

"Uh, no!" Chomesuke cried.

"Oh yes we are. The Jaguar!"

She pointed at the silver car. "The Honda!"

"Allen!" they yelled in unison.

I flinched. "Why me? Why not Kanda?"

"Because he's too busy staring at those motorbikes from the shop down the next block!"

Indeed our feminine long-haired Japanese sir had snuck away to ogle at those motorcycles.

I sighed. "Which one has better air-conditioning?" I called.

And so we ended up embarking in the Honda, much to Chomesuke's glee and Daisya's downfall. Chomesuke and I took up the back seats as the boys took the front, in which the idea was a terrible idea because every time Kanda calls me beansprout (like every other minute) I receive a jab in the ribs. I could have assumed that Chomesuke had some sick fondness on Kanda, but with the winking and the giggling and the smiling made it hard to believe she was jealous of Kanda's attention on me.

Well, it is also hard to say that anyone could be jealous of my torment, but hey, Kanda _was_ one of the most popular guys in high school. Then again, that was high school, this is now.

_"Tell me that you're all right_

_Yeah, everything is all right_

_Oh, please tell me that you're all right_

_Yeah, everything is all right!"_

Although, I have to give credit to her for thinking of an ingenious way of annoying Kanda.

We started singing. To her ITouch, that is.

_"Give me a reason_

_To end this discussion_

_To break with tradition_

_To fold and divide_

_"Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks, and airplanes_

_Talking with strangers_

_Waiting in line_

_I'm through with these pills_

_That make me sit still_

_Are you feeling fine?_

_Yes, I feel just fine."_

Daisya burst into laughter and Kanda was grounding his teeth.

I raised my voice to sound obnoxiously loud, just to get under his skin.

_"Tell me that you're all right_

_Yeah, everything is all right_

_Oh, please tell me that you're all right_

_Yeah, everything is all right!"_

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

And that's how the rest of the car ride became silent.

* * *

Before we could go to Lenalee's place (heck, I didn't even give her a warning call yet!), we stopped at Taco Bell. Good thing too since I was getting hungry. So we stopped by at this fast-food place, and the funniest thing happened!

"Hey, ah. You, ah, live around here?" A slim man towering over 6'3 leaned over to Kanda, stretching his glossy lips into a smirk. I, unfortunately, caught a glimpse of very tight jeans being worn by this mister, but it was worth it since he's putting on an entertaining show.

Daisya was trying to hold in a laugh. Chomesuke giggled into her hand.

Kanda was clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Because, ah, I was wondering, ah, if you wanted, you know, hang around." The man slipped a piece of paper into Kanda's back-pocket, causing the Japanese to freeze. "I'll, ah, see ya later then, sweet cheeks."

When he left, I couldn't help grinning to full force. "Sweet cheeks? How adorable."

He might as well be thinking of ways how to murder us all painfully because we were laughing like there was no tomorrow. Tears were brimming and guts ached. I thought Kanda was actually going to kill us when he stood up, but that was till Chomesuke cut in.

"Kanda, sit down. You know you're supposed to control that temper of yours, especially under my supervision," she scolded. "So no go killing the gay man."

"Chomesuke," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If you would just—"

"No, sit down."

"Che."

Lovely. Kanda on rehab.

"By the way," she said, turning to me and Daisya, "since you guys are Jews—"

"Christians," we corrected.

"Right, Christians, then doesn't that make you homophobes?"

"Miss, Christians do not look down on anyone for we are called to love one another," I said, sipping my soda. "Though we believe that homosexuality is wrong, that doesn't mean homosexuals don't deserve to be loved."

"Yeah," Daisya agreed. "What she said."

She scrunched her eyebrows together. "But wouldn't it be gay for a guy to love another guy just like how you said?"

"Not like that. I mean, a sibling sort of way, or simply being kind."

"Oh."

I took a bite of my burrito. "But you know," I said, gaining everyone's attention (yes, even Kanda's), "this actually does prove my point."

"What do you mean, Al?" Daisya said.

"Well, back in our old high school, I told Kanda that he should get himself a haircut because he looked like a girl." I grinned.

"Yeah, well, you didn't _prove_ anything yet," Kanda snorted.

"Besides, he cut his hair when he entered Noah Academy," Daisya added.

"Darn it, Daisya! Why'd you have to ruin it for me?"

"Sorry."

"Stupid beansprout."

Chomesuke sent me a grin.

* * *

VERSE OF THE DAY

John 14:6—_Jesus answered, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."_

* * *

REVIEWERS ARE OUR FRIENDS

**Greyfitti** had reviewed for chapter five, saying this: _"Allen is getting slightly OOC."_

But you know why now…

SHE TOOK PILLS. For depression.

**MexiJew** had reviewed for chapter one, saying this: "_Oh, and the stuffs about God and Jesus don't bore me one bit."_

Thank you. You all will be seeing more of this Christianity stuff on this fic. Allen is religious, that's why.

**Leah **had reviewed for chapter ten, saying this: _"great story"_

Oh, you flatter me.

(:


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